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‘It smelled of onions and mustard,’ Border Patrol officer hit by sandwich in DC testifies (www.cnn.com)

submitted 1 month ago by CubitOom@infosec.pub to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

114 comments fedilink hide all child comments

“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”

That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.

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[–] JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca 185 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I hope the people around him never let him live a minute without being reminded about what a weak little boy he is for whining about taking a soft, succulent sub to the shoulder.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 128 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Navy should give him a medal for surviving the first sub attack on US soil.

The Cunt for Red October.

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

There were 3 submarine attacks on the US in 1942.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damned historical accuracy getting in the way of a decent joke

[–] 5too@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

...first this century?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

those were technically hoagies

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Acshully U-Boats.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago

Shit. Bread October...it was right there...

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 53 points 1 month ago

The injury was to the ego and authority - of the entire apparatus, not one man. They're all anxious to bring retribution and remind everyone that the enforcer class is above them and demands your cowering deference.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's a really good point. I hope he gets a medal for injury in the line of duty with a big, televised ceremony and lots of sandwich puns.

[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Kinda gives new meaning to the term “war hero”.

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Succulent...

Let go of my eggplant!

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago

This is delicatessen manifest!