this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 23 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I've been a devoted sitter for a while. If you stand, you are peeing on your floor. Maybe not a lot, maybe not even a perceptible amount on any individual trip, but definitely some, and over time, a lot. I'm of the opinion it's weird to pee on your own floor, and have been enthusiastically lambasted for this on multiple occasions. Some men for example find it unmanly. Which, putting aside for a moment the fact that there is no inherent correlation with manliness and goodness, is bullshit. Unless they stand to pee when pooping, they already pee sitting down on a regular basis. All I'm doing is increasing the frequency of seated micturation.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 12 minutes ago

You're weird because apparently you don't clean your bathroom floors.

Sure, microscopic amounts of pee gets on the floor. Then, every couple of weeks you clean your bathroom.

You know that when you flush a toilet you aerosolize a bit of the contents and they drift out and land around the room too. Does that bother you?

[–] gegil@sopuli.xyz 10 points 43 minutes ago

As an owner of girlcock, i do pee while sitting, unless i have to use public restroom, then i pee standing. Public toilets are way to creepy and gross for me to touch them.

[–] foo@feddit.uk 12 points 32 minutes ago (1 children)

As a man, I don't justify my choice of peeing positions to anyone. I sit or stand if I want to, and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off and take their opinions with them.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 minute ago

I too am pro-choice

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 33 points 1 hour ago

I've worked in one of those oldhead machine shops where they deliberately don't have any chairs in the work area because "if you're not standing you're not working." You bet I sat my ass down on the toilet instead of using the urinal.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 1 points 5 minutes ago

There are a few medical studies that promote sitting because the muscles men use to urinate relax more while sitting.

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 19 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Sit at home stand in public toilets

[–] Gintoki@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Yeah i stand at public toilet too and i always clean the shitstains in the public toilet with my pee

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 3 points 30 minutes ago* (last edited 29 minutes ago)

Society appreciates you for your invaluable service!

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 0 points 25 minutes ago

I wouldn't, I don't want to release people's fecal particles into the air while I'm standing there. I find a clean toilet or I go to a different bathroom

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Wouldn't your feet get wet?

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Not when you do a handstand.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 50 minutes ago (1 children)

Wouldn't your hands get wet?

[–] Gintoki@lemmy.zip 1 points 34 minutes ago* (last edited 33 minutes ago)

That's when you use your pee to propel yourself.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 52 minutes ago* (last edited 51 minutes ago) (1 children)

I sit down when I pee
There's nothing that crazy 'bout me
I'm just takin' a whiz, mind your own biz
Why is everybody always staring at me?

Hey bro, I gotta go
Let me through, I gotta go number two

No can do, I'm taking a pee
Sitting on the loo, having a good long wee

Are you sitting down?

I'm sitting down

And you're not making brown?

I'm not making brown

Are you making iced tea?

Just lemonade

But are you sitting down?

I'm sitting down!

Why don't you stand like a regular man?
Then you can pee in the urinal can

If you really wanna know why I'm sitting strong
I just can't stand touching my dong

[–] mastertigurius@lemmy.world 2 points 11 minutes ago (1 children)

Why did I hear Eminem's voice shouting this?

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 9 minutes ago

Eminem & Dre. Eminem is the one sitting down to pee. Dre has to go number two.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 13 points 1 hour ago (3 children)

Depends what I'm doing. Escaping work? Sit. Half asleep? Sit. Just trying to get shit done but I'm having this annoying ass interruption? Stand. Watering the graves of assholes? Stand. Anything else is basically sit. Oh except gross toilets you really don't want to touch.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 minutes ago

Sitting down takes longer. IMO it also flows more easily if I'm standing. I'll sit if I'm tired, or half-asleep, or whatever. I'll stand most of the time to get it over with faster.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 4 points 37 minutes ago

Sitting for a midnight piss makes it a lot easier for me to get back to sleep.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 minutes ago

ass interruption

Do you have a cloaca?

[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

At night, sit. I don't want to clean that shit. Unless I'm pissing in the fridge, the light and cold air is nice.

P.S. I'm trying to donate a kidney and I needed to keep 24 hours of urine refrigerated. At night I figured there was no reason to take the jug to the bathroom.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 2 points 52 minutes ago

I chimney up the stall about halfway and drop that deuce like a mountain goat.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 7 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Don... do you pee just once a day?

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 1 hour ago

He also shits standing up.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 1 points 35 minutes ago

That's a long-ass piss.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 points 41 minutes ago

There comes a time in a man's life when sitting down on the toilet means your carry-on might meet an unexpected water landing.

[–] twinnie@feddit.uk 3 points 1 hour ago

Sit at home, stand at work. My daughter would reach through my legs and try to grab the stream so it’s just habit now.

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You’re all wrong. The only proper way is to sit down in reverse. It gives you direct access to the funnel, zero chance of missing.

[–] paranoid@lemmy.world 6 points 52 minutes ago

Plus you can use the back of the toilet as a little table for your snacks

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 48 minutes ago
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

I thought the comments were going to be how weird this bathroom's layout is. They're just looking at each other pee....

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

The sitter is really eager and the stander is pinching their dick off in rapid.jmtervals.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 1 points 1 hour ago

to assert dominance.