Ask Lemmy

How many people's livelihood can be affected by their decision.

lifetime number of orgasms

A boolean indicating if they want a conversation or not

Their net benefit (or harm) to humanity; measured in QALYs.

A generalization on the crimes score, but it also tells me who to befriend. I'm not a utilitarian, but it still seems like helpful data.

Number of times they molested kids.

Some kind of "empathy score." Not sure what the formula would be, but it would reflect how readily they feel empathy for another person, and how many other people they can care about.

A narcissist would have a 0 -- they can only care about themself. Someone with very limited empathy would have a small number -- say, they can only care about their immediate family, and they need to really get to know someone before they care about that person. People who naturally care about others, even if they don't know the other person, would have high numbers.

This number would sometimes just flat out tell you that certain people should be avoided, or certain conversations are pointless with that person. Or if you do need to try to convince them of something, the number may show you how to frame the conversation. E.g., show how it's in their own interest if they have a low number.

An icon to indicate if they washed their hands after the last time they used the bathroom.

First name.

"Hey Janine, can you move your cart out of the way, thanks, gonna get by here and go get some ice cream sandwiches."

"Excuse me, Ravi, trying to get off the train, one moment, thanks."

"Oh hey, you're a Tanis too, just like me, neat!"

This will absolutely weird everyone out.

A scale of 1-10 at how likely we could be friends.

Healthbar.

"Hey, fuck you! I'm gonna kick your ass, man!"

"Mighty big talk for someone who only has 4hp."

Answers in this thread:

1. Goofy

2. Unquantifiable using any sort of objective metric

I was going to hold back on this one, but then i read the comments section:

Willingness to give head on a scale of 1-100. the Stat could have different color codes though, so I could "at a glance" some further info. (like bright red means they probably have an STI, regardless of the number, or lavender over a woman means she prefers "tacos" if you catch my meaning, dark green could mean they are down with little convincing, you know, "that sort of thing.")

I'm expecting to confirm my suspicions that the numbers are not as high as the spicy sites would have you believe.

Percentage on how likely someone is to be caught if they were murdered along with the coordinates of that location 48 hours from current time.

Just for curiosity.

Or maybe what everyone else said about farts or something

Realtime running count of lies told

How likely they are to have sex with me this very second behind those bushes over there.

Good God I'm shallow sometimes...

Happiness.

Horniness

I'm here to toot for the "lifetime farts" number

Is "how much I would like them on a scale from 0 to 10 (with a resolution of like 0.01) if I got to know them at a deep level" allowed? Or is that cheating?

Lifetime Intrusive thoughts counter