this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
661 points (96.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41023 readers
3732 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 day ago

I wanna check out more by this writer

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 88 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There was a young whore from Kilkenny, Who charged for two fucks just a penny. For half of that sum, You could bugger her bum, An economy practised by many.

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 66 points 1 day ago

There once was a young lad from Brighton,
Who said to his lass "you're a tight 'un",
She said "Bless my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole,
And there's plenty of room in the right 'un"

[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 99 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Finally an actually moving and relatable poem.

*sigh*

I just took a break from reading a book because I just fijished a lengthy sex scene with anal, and I wanted a change of pace ... so I open up Lemmy and what do I see?

(For anyone wondering, the book is called The Three ... it's very good so far ...)

[–] Nonconfrontational@lemmy.ml 45 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

There once was a man from Nantucket

who's cock was so long he could suck it

With a wink and a grin, he wiped off his chin

And said, "if my ear were a removed I could fuck it"

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 63 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"if my ear were a removed

Vincent Van Gogh has entered the chat.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 day ago

Can we get a [redacted] up in this??

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There once was a maid of Madras,
Who had a magnificent ass,
Not rounded and pink,
As you'd possibly think,
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

[–] Nonconfrontational@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I like the relative innocence of this one, lol.

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago

There's always the less innocent:

There once was a man from Madras,
Whose bollocks were made out of brass,
In inclement weather,
He'd rub them together,
And lightning came out of his ass.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 day ago

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I’d give you head

But I’m sick

Beautiful πŸ₯Ή

[–] westingham@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 day ago

A modern classic

[–] SourDragon@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Human poetry is…confusing πŸ€”β”πŸ²

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have you heard any Vogon poetry?

[–] SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Pfft. It doesn't even rhyme

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 10 points 1 day ago

I 'ardley knew 'er!

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'm through with taking falls. And bouncing off the walls. Without that gun, I'd have some fun. I'd kick you in the...

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

A fork with three tines.

[–] TheFermentalist@reddthat.com 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Use lube next time.

Poetry is so romantic

[–] Blurntout@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 day ago

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I surmised violet behind sphincter related poetry consumption..

It was going to rhyme but I ain’t got all day

This is poetry. Oh well - it actually is :D

[–] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is this the new e. e. cumins? It really crystallized such a special moment of introspection and good ol' donut glazing.

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

No punctuation, all seasoning

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The abolition of capitalism will save the pollar bears and our species as well.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 7 points 1 day ago

Climate change is a direct result of the free market. Corpo asshats couldn't give a fuck less about climate change because they know they won't live to see the worst of it. All they care about is market growth, their bonuses, and their ego. The market clearly cannot be trusted to regulate itself therefore it must be the government and also we the people to hold them accountable. Now, if there was just a system of government where we don't compete with each other and corporate dominions for capital than climate change would be a non-issue. I wonder if anyone has ever thought of a solution to this problem.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I like poetry by Gary...