this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2026
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Asklemmy

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[–] toast@retrolemmy.com 40 points 4 weeks ago

Share it with the first person who replied to such a question

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 24 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I would retire.

I'd buy a moderately nice place in the city I want to libe in, provably 1mil absolute max, depending on property taxes. I would then invest the remainder, ensuring that with relatively stable investments I could live comfortably on the interest going forward, with the interest covering property tax and my expenses.

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[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 20 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I would buy a brick house on top of a forested hill. My nearest neighbor would be a 20-minute drive away.

I would work on my magnum opus of tabletop rpg rules, which I would convert into a video game.

I would commission art and fund the construction of shrines to the four tezcatlipocas.

Fund owl habitat preservation.

[–] anon6789@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

I like your style!

[–] bigmclargehuge@lemmy.zip 19 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd go to your table and put it all on black

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[–] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

You are either a degenerate gambler or already a billionaire \s

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Invest in one of the two startup projects im working on

And watch that 5 mil turn into 5k overnight 😎

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

Hire a fiduciary and pay off my debts, which I think currently is just my mortgage.

I wouldn't quit my job straight away. I like my team and I'm learning rapidly having them around.

Travel more, and invest in my hobbies, picking up a couple others that currently are out of reach.

The remaining ~~1~~4.5 million would grow.

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[–] crazyminner@lemmy.ml 11 points 4 weeks ago

Start a vegan commune.

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Use the "4% Rule", this would be an inflation adjusted $200K per year every year (more or less, the "4% Rule" is more of a great observation than a rule).

I would live on a third, give a third to my family, and a third to local organizations.

[–] echo@lemmy.today 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The 4% rule is kind of crappy and even it's creator has modified it.

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 3 points 3 weeks ago

What do you mean? It is great for planning purposes.

I am well versed in it, but "crappy" arguments split both in "too low" and "too high".

[–] distal@lemmy.ml 10 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

5 Million? O.K. let's roll.

60K for university education, should be plenty.

40K go to paying various bills for friends and family

100K for various charities

1.8M go to building a non-profit high tech eco commune in Argentina or a similarly climatically stable place with features inspired by FM 2030's book Upwingers in regards to future living

300K go to anti-militarist causes

500K go to various vegan groups

200K go to building school projects in developing regions

1M are invested into a photovoltaic power station from which I will extract a $6000 rent p.a. max with the rest of the proceeds going to a fund for disabled people and disadvantaged youths

Last million:

100K for travels

100K for a communal homelab that provides hosting for FLOSS and anti-conservative politics

200K for hackspaces

250K for unions, they better have some conviction though

350K for cruelty free research on rare diseases

[–] grandel@lemmy.ml 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] ehxor@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'll tell you what I'd do, man: ten chicks at the same time, man.

[–] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not sure how I would distribute them. I just want one at each limb, one works on my scalp and neck, and one on my sore back and shoulder. Still it sounds very crowded. Let's just have two.

[–] gary_host_laptop@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago

i'd fund a militia to start guerrilla warfare against the bourgeoisie.

[–] Xuntari@programming.dev 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'm a developer and I love it, but hate the current state of the field. I would quit my job and start my own company. It would be a lot less scarry if I didn't have to worry about making money. I could just make the things I wanted.

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 weeks ago

Leave my country, buy an old decrepit spooky mansion in a non-Western country, and spend the rest of my days pretending to be a ghost whilst using the remaining funds for small acts of charity for the nearest town/village. I wanna see if I can create a legend.

[–] echo@lemmy.today 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If the US had universal healthcare then I'd already retire. As is, $5m isn't safe to retire with health issues/needs

[–] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

$5m would afford a solid health insurance plan monthly premium that wouldn't make that big a dent if your $5m is well invested.

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[–] jaypatelani@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 weeks ago

Firstly pay tax. Then donate atleast 30% of remaining amount. Then put remaining amount in mutual funds which can generate better alpha and do work that I enjoy or like and retire when I feel like

Pay my mortgage and invest

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

5mill could pay a lot of poor people to hurt rish people...

[–] witness_me@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] ByteMe@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Exchange them with euro.

[–] orenj@leminal.space 6 points 4 weeks ago

Own a house, then business as usual

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 6 points 4 weeks ago

Retire. Don't like my job. Tech is circling the drain.

Other people posted some details but essentially if you're not an idiot you can park that in safe investments and live a happy life.

I get so frustrated when I read about people who like win a few million, blow it on like stupid cars and houses, and end up poor again. Just don't do that.

[–] Uranus_Hz@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 weeks ago

Pay off debts. Invest the rest structured in trust funds for my kids. I don’t got many years left. I’d rather they get it while they’re young enough to enjoy it and not let it all get siphoned away by the β€œend of life” care system in America.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 weeks ago

Probably the first thing I would do is to exchange them for gold-backed currencies.

[–] monovergent@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 weeks ago

Buy a plot of land with a nice view and construct one of those nifty passive houses. Also get my teeth and knees fixed, put together a nice home lab, and go travelling. Split the surplus between retirement savings and donating to causes I find worthy.

[–] Ragnor@feddit.dk 5 points 4 weeks ago

I would buy a house, and go to university to study physics.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Nothing crazy. I wouldn't try to invest it someway to get mo money, beyond an interest bearing savings account, because chances are good I'd lose it.

Pay off my house. Travel a bit--France, Spain, maybe SEA for the food and to experience something different. Buy a camper van and visit the old campgrounds in CA and OR my family had vacations at when I was a kid. Leave as much as I could to my son after that.

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[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 weeks ago

Set the kids up and then move to Uruguay

[–] mortalblade@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 weeks ago

pay off my parents house, and fix up the stuff weve neglected. finally upgrade my ram lol

[–] doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

Immediately invest a million into China directly for Chinese citizenship, then 4 million via wealth management companies so I and my children can live off of dividends for the rest of time in China.

Even 1% dividend monthly on 4 mil is $40,000 a month.

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[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 weeks ago

Get set for retirement and give away a few million. I don't need that much money, and it could really make a difference in other peoples lives

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Drop it in investments and work for another year. The extra year of work is so that I can get the investments to move to long term capital gains tax rates. With that sorted, I can now retire. Even a simple index fund often returns an average around 7%. So that's ~$350,000/year. Pull $200,000 and leave $150,000 for growth. Exact numbers will fluctuate, but it will be close. I'm going to get taxed at something like 12.5%, or about $25,000 leaving me $175,000 to live on. This isn't monthly vacations in Tahiti money, but it's a pretty comfortable living, if I'm not stupid and wasteful. If I really want to stretch things out, I can always move to a lower cost of living country. Though that often carries personal risk with it, and I don't know if I'd want that extra stress. Numbers would also change based on how that original $5mil got taxed. If it's something like a lottery win, it would shave the numbers down a good bit by taxes.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

I'm moving to Europe.

[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Put it with rest of investments. Wait a year till capital gains kick in then probably retire on interest.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Pay off the house I live in, put 100k in trust for each of 4 family members, buy a much larger house and hire a paid staff of 3 and 1 volunteer and make it into a free shelter for single mother victims of DV and their children, set up a trust to pay for the education of both the mothers and children for the duration of their residence, and probably buy a commercial property so my mother can open a charity shop in it as she's always wanted, and bank the rest for some interest. I'd still keep doing my job because it's not very hard. Maybe negotiate down to 4 days a week.

I'm pretty financially comfortable and so are the members of my family that I care about. I'll be inheriting two houses when my separated parents die, so I'm not really sweating for retirement money.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago

after i pay for language lessons and start talking to real estate agents who know what the term "community bottoms" means. :p

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 weeks ago

Pay off the house, catch up on repairs, then sit on it because it'll fuck my insurance and be gone paying for medical stuff in maybe ten years

[–] yuki_gassen@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 weeks ago

Double it and pass it to the next

[–] ThuggyG@piefed.ca 3 points 3 weeks ago

Pay off our mortgage, pay my wife’s student loans, give my parents $1M, buy my sister in law a home to live in rent free, save the rest for my baby girl, 50k invested for all my nieces and nephews, and have another baby.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 3 points 4 weeks ago

I would purchase 3 to 5 homes in the US.

[–] butsbutts@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago

mm retire i guess and dont tell anybody

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