this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] scytale@piefed.zip 11 points 6 hours ago

I bet he can also describe in detail how hung the Mustang was.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 hours ago

I think the brain injury has him a little confused. He spent 18 days with a 6ft Mustang full of testosterone called Jesús, and it was heavenly.

[–] Blibly@lemmy.world 13 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Mentally ill man says gay shit on fox news. Just another day at fox.

[–] eurodyne@piefed.world 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

You can just see Jesse Watters licking his lips as this guy tells his story

[–] lemmyng@lemmy.world 22 points 7 hours ago

Erm, what the yaoi fanfic?

[–] PNW_Doug@lemmy.world 20 points 7 hours ago

Hats off to the headline writer. I lol’d

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 7 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

These kind of hallucinations are not uncommon for a near death experience.

An existing theory is that its caused by your brain releasing naturaly produced dmt when its senses its about to die.

Thats pretty interesting, but doesnt explain why where giving this guy a stage and actively make them dangerously mentally ill by feeding into the delusions they experienced.

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 13 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

If I tell anyone that I spent time with Jesus they wouldn't believe me.

Why do they believe this guy??? What's he got??? Souvenirs?

[–] OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net 16 points 7 hours ago

A traumatic brain injury

[–] fratermus@piefed.social 7 points 6 hours ago

Cf. Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez:

Jesus and John Wayne is a sweeping account of the last seventy-five years of white evangelicalism, showing how American evangelicals have worked for decades to replace the Jesus of the Gospels with an idol of rugged masculinity and Christian nationalism, or in the words of one modern chaplain, with “a spiritual badass.”

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 hours ago

"When you have to fill a 24h news day you can literally drag up brain injured crazy people and just let them talk! "

-giggling ceo

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Unironically this account makes just as much sense as every stupid religion on this planet.

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[–] lIlIlIlIlIlIl@lemmy.world 11 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

“Liar claims lies”

Fixed the headline, it’s no longer news

[–] DickHertz@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

Ugh. Spent 18 days in heaven just to talk about how swole Jesus is. Secret closet hider, dude.

[–] Didntdoit71@feddit.online 1 points 4 hours ago

Did he get bucked? Or fucked?

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 7 points 7 hours ago
[–] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 hours ago

Jesus has a fucking huge dick and use it to assert his dominance on betas.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

Heaven is a Chuck Tingle book

[–] riskable@programming.dev 3 points 6 hours ago

He claims heaven isn't a place, it's a person, and that he entered that person.

Now he's reminded of heaven everywhere he looks. The trees, the mountains, etc.

[–] QueenHawlSera@piefed.social 3 points 6 hours ago

Haven't Near Death Experiences been fully debunked as nonsense?

who'd have thought that doing acid makes you see jesus

[–] damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Horse Jesus?

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 hours ago

What else does he have to do in paradise for thousands of years other than work out?

This was super cringy to read, I feel the need to go wash my hands. Waste of my time, I wish I'd never read it.

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