He mean that metaphorically …right?
this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2026
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Huh, guess the Koreans are the ones with the correct depiction then. Go figure.
Fox News interviews brain damaged man suffering from delusions
RFK went on again?
Goddamn even The Onion can't do shit this stupid, and they're actively trying. Fox News is like a well funded version of those little magazines at the checkout line that talk about aliens and the anti-aging miracles of an uncooked eggyolk and beef tallow only diet.
"Hmm yeah cool trustworthy story bro but how about you get some excommunication" - The pope 5s after hearing this
Worst biblical slash fiction I've read so far.
He's not wrong that "Jesus is misrepresented", but he's leaving the best part out.
"The Apocalypse" is when Jesus returns. All of the Christians will be saved, and everybody else, the billions of people who aren't Christian, will then be slaughtered by Jesus and His Holy Army. They won't even have peace after that, as they will be tortured for all eternity.
According to Jesus, you can watch the damned suffer and burn from Heaven.
I know you don't believe me, it sounds crazy. Please read the Bible (or Tanakh or Koran) or watch fundamentalist pastors/priests/rabbis/imams, they are proud of what they say and upload their own videos.
p.s. the Heaven this nut describes sounds like an absolutely awful eternity, better than Hell, but come on just let me die
Lately, any absurd story seems to attract attention—especially when the media decides to give it airtime. People keep sharing all kinds of old, meaningless, completely ridiculous stuff just to get attention. :P
Good thing he took a picture...
That's the horniest car I've ever seen!
And I love it.
That car fucks.
And this is what happens when you give a platform to idiots, brain damage or not.
The bigger story is that Fox put this guy on air and acted like there was some legitimacy to it. The guy himself at least has an excuse for acting brain dead. What's the excuse for the viewers?
Gabe added that ‘in America, Jesus has been misrepresented. And there are so many cultural things that present him as if he’s some tolerant guy.’
There is your answer right there. They know their credulous audience and they have their message to push.
What's the excuse for the viewers?
They have watched enough Fox to achieve a similar effect.
Was probably a distraction day.
Like the time Paul Manafort was indicted and Faux News suddenly decided that the cheese placement on Google's hamburger emoji was the biggest and most important thing happening that day.
The same thing, really
Damn... 7 minutes is nothing. This dude's on a whole other level right here
Cool dream bro
How much cum would he need to swallow to taste the testosterone?
He hasn't found the answer yet but he'll keep swallowing until he does
Gabe added that ‘in America, Jesus has been misrepresented. And there are so many cultural things that present him as if he’s some tolerant guy.’
🤦
My dude, it's written down. There's an actual book. But this is America, so he very likely can't read.
Also note my surprised face that the entire account is vaguely homoerotic. Yet again, repressed sexuality seems to be at play here.
"horse jesus made me gay"?
Gabe Poirot was riding an electric skateboard at around 30 miles per hour without a helmet in October 2021 when he hit a small bump in the road and flipped backwards, landing directly on his head.
The impact cracked the then 20-year-old’s skull, causing a traumatic brain injury.
It's kind of tragic how badly a TBI can mess up someone's life, especially at such a young age.
Severe brain damage and religion. You can't name a more iconic duo.
Riding an electric skateboard without a helmet is already a sign of imbecility; he just added hallucinations to his mental deficiency.
I read that quickly and just thought 30km/h is fairly fast on a skateboard, but 30mph is just stupid fast.
With the increase of cheap ebikes this is becoming more and more common. Saw a CBC Marketplace investigation recently where most Toronto stores they visited advertised those vehicles to the under 16, against the law. They also offered to remove limiters to make the bikes go considerably faster.
They interviewed a teenager who now is missing chunks of his skull and cant form memories anymore.
Or a young child who got hit and run by an ebike and looked like he was in a car accident.
Was never much of a Ford fan, so…. This is disappointing. Was really hoping he would be a Camaro, or even an import.
This reads like some very iffy fan fiction.
Written by Hegesth.
NO WEIRDOS, BEARDOES, OR WOMEN, ONLY STRONG, HOT, MUSCULAR, DTF MEN.
AND DISCREET
Right? Apparently hallucinating in a coma that Jesus's manly body is the only reality will get you on Fix News.
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Religion is a mental illness
I'd say it's a reaction to mental illness. An attempt by people to try to get a handle on something. If you look at religious people, they tend to all be a little off.
It’s a broad range of problems they try to fill.
Alcoholism, various mental illnesses, loneliness, and desperation get new ones in. But I think the most problematic are the ones there for life and because the whole community is there. Or for political reasons.
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Ah, if Jesus was born in the stable, makes sense he grew up as a horse. Or perhaps as a camel, trying to go through the eye of a needle.
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The impact cracked the then 20-year-old’s skull, causing a traumatic brain injury
Sounds about right
My mom for a while believed a TV evangelist for a while, I'll always remember his shit name. Jesse Duplanis. Told everyone he went to heaven and met Jesus on a deathbed experience before being "sent back to preach the good book". Of course it was the abundance gospel of he just happened to have a private jet and multiple mansions.
My gullible naive mother sent him money when she was most destitute thinking he knew how to make things better. At one point it was a full tithe, 10% of her income. I hope he rots in the ground.
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I bet he can also describe in detail how hung the Mustang was.
I think the brain injury has him a little confused. He spent 18 days with a 6ft Mustang full of testosterone called Jesús, and it was heavenly.
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