Not The Onion

22622 readers

872 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

296

Man who claims he spent 18 days in heaven says Jesus is a '6ft Mustang full of testosterone' | News Weird | Metro News (metro.co.uk)

submitted 8 hours ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

80 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world -2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

He's not wrong that "Jesus is misrepresented", but he's leaving the best part out.

"The Apocalypse" is when Jesus returns. All of the Christians will be saved, and everybody else, the billions of people who aren't Christian, will then be slaughtered by Jesus and His Holy Army. They won't even have peace after that, as they will be tortured for all eternity.

According to Jesus, you can watch the damned suffer and burn from Heaven.

I know you don't believe me, it sounds crazy. Please read the Bible (or Tanakh or Koran) or watch fundamentalist pastors/priests/rabbis/imams, they are proud of what they say and upload their own videos.

p.s. the Heaven this nut describes sounds like an absolutely awful eternity, better than Hell, but come on just let me die

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 2 minutes ago* (last edited 2 minutes ago)

It sounds like you're confusing and conflating judgement day/the rapture with armageddon because that is a wild misinterpretation of what the bible actually describes.

The only thing about Jesus having an army is Armageddon, which is a place where Jesus would have a final confrontation with Satan and the forces of Hell.

Judgment day will see everyone, both living and dead, to be judged whether or not they enter Heaven. Armageddon happens after that.