Take that shit to the grave imo
this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2026
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This didn't happen.
Likely not. It’s mocking how work places do tend to operate however, so it’s humorous in the respect.
"Have fun with us, Dave. You must."
As they flash a menacing smile that doesn't quite reach the eyes...
I mentioned that I’m lactose intolerant once to the person who organizes lunch/snack events in the office. Since then, there’s always fruit sherbet included with the regular ice cream whenever there’s a free food event on our floor.
I don’t like frozen fruit juice for dessert, and I can still tolerate a small serving of regular of ice cream, so I’ve never touched the sherbet. I don’t know if they’ve noticed.
A lot of people need to learn to both say no, and not care about what people say after you said no.
People who have 0 interest in respecting your choices are not worth pleasing.
One good thing about not being able to eat so many things is it’s an easy out of trying other people’s food.
I've so far defied conventional wisdom by just saying flat out when I don't want to deal with off-hours 'fun' time. Which has pretty much been every time. During work hours? Sure no problem. No I'm not going to a team dinner or evening movie.
Most egregious one was a couple decades back when the team was arranging a nice holiday dinner. This was early in my career so I hadn't yet developed the comfort to reject, but the event was "pay your own way" and the restauraunt was a $120 a person, and that is not an inflation adjusted figure. I had barely enough to make rent at the time so there's no way I was going to piss away $120 just to eat with coworkers that I get to see every day anyway. I was so nervous declining, but it got a bit easier when they acted offended I wouldn't do it and said $120 wasn't really a lot of money.
Lactose intolerant??? No I said I lack toes in toddler ants!
That's always been the problem with toddler ants, actually.
“Turns out I’m allergic to people. Yep. “
Most of the lactose free ice cream options use shit that upsets your stomach even more than dairy hitting a lactose intolerant stomach. I thought I was gonna die after eating lactose free ben and Jerry's, but I'm totally fine eating their regular ice cream with some lactase enzyme.
There's some brands that just add lactase enzyme and those are fine, but the ones I've had were just generally low quality ice cream and you'd be better off taking lactase enzyme with a good ice cream...
B&Js vegan offerings are great, this is the first I'm learning they have a special lactose free option.
Having tried their dairy free alternative as someone who CRUSHES dairy just fine, I believe your problem is simply that you are weak and your bloodline is weak.
Fair point regarding the other individual I don't know
Given how most of the planet’s population is lactose intolerant, I don’t understand why they just don’t add lactase to every dairy product and get it over with. I’m sure it would help sales if part of your customer base wouldn’t shit themselves from what you sell.
As someone with lactose intolerance: Häagen Dasz and lactase pills is the shit (not the shits).
Also the dairy free Ben and Jerry just tastes worse too
Yeah it tastes weird. Then gives you explosive diarrhea for a day.
I… think there’s something else going on there, yo. I eat the dairy free ice cream and I’ve never had what you describe. Tbf, my lactose intolerance is fairly mild (no milk or cream; butter and cheese even Greek yogurt is fine). But maybe you’ve a sensitivity to some other ingredient?
Yeah most likely, not sure which one though.
That’s just a bonus colon cleanse!
A very violent and painful one
Just go with it. No one will question it.
Next say you're diabetic to avoid the ice cream socials. Lol
The diabetic and lactase deficient Dave's coconut milk ice cream with monk fruit and allulose quarterly social.
Diabetic Dave's Inclusive Freezer Initiative
Can't have artificial sweeteners either because they give him migraines.
Diabetic Dave’s Inclusive No Sweetener At All Freezer Initiative
"Oh yeah? Then why do you always opt for white rice over brown? I've got my eye on you, Peterson."
"That's cauliflower rice Johnson!"
^You^ ^dick...^
If they were really concerned about him feeling welcome, they would ask what he wants and take it at face value.
"I desperately long for the companionship and camaraderie affiliated with these ice cream socials, but through some cruel form of injustice, I am forced by my body to abstain! If only there were some alternate frozen dessert we could all participate in! But alas! It is plain to see that I am simply not meant to enjoy the finer things in life with my peers, and shall thusly remain in my cubicle, alone, during normal business hours."
I had these forced socializing events at a company I worked at. The CTO would get mad that I wouldn’t go during lunch aka unpaid time. They would have free unhealthy, low-quality food and couldn’t understand why I did want any. The husband did the right thing. Not going to them hurt my career at that job. Was seen as not a team player.
Yeah, last year at my last job they had a mandatory baseball game we had to attend. You could skip it if your boss aprovef you skipping otherwise you had to use PTO to not attend. So glad I'm not there anymore they used to regularly hold meetings that could be summerized with HR just flipping everyone the bird for 45 minutes.
had to use PTO to not attend
Literally fucking wage theft.
While I still think it was outrageous, you had to actually take the day off to not attend. They were very open your options are attend or take the day off using PTO.
Ok so it was paid time if you did go to the game? That's not so bad if that's the case
mandatory baseball game
I can think of very few professions where this would be acceptable.
I worked at a company that among other things made engines used in F1 racing cars. Located in Indiana. The whole company got the day off for the Indianapolis 500, and the day before the official race ("carburetion day" when they test out & tweak the final car configs). Everyone was highly encouraged to go.
But it still wasn't mandatory and TBH I never went though I kinda wish I had for the experience
We made conveyer belts. I see no relation between that and baseball. At least when making F1 engines there's a clear correlation to race cars.
The funny thing is I stopped drinking milk and eating dairy for a couple of years almost by accident. I started drinking black coffee, never eat cereal, rarely eat cake with cream, only have cheese sparingly. Now, whenever I do drink milk I get the shits something rotten. I actually have given myself (mild) lactose intolerance. IT CAN BE DONE.
My wife is lactose intolerant and we always have soya milk in the house. I don't drink tea or coffee and only have milk for cereal, so I just have been having soya for about 15 years.
When my son was a bit older we thought we'd make some milk shakes for him and his friends. I had one too, and boom. Massive shits and wind. Never used to be a problem for.me but now it is.
68% of the world population has some form of lactose intolerance
You'd be in the minority if you didn't have some intolerance
What? So if I drank a glass of milk, neat and walk it off without problems. I'm the weird one?
I did all the same things as you and I'm generally ok UNTIL I HIT THE DAIRY QUEEN, I generally have to have a shit (explosive diarrhea) break halfway through my Blizzard like clockwork.
He just learned he's actually casein-intolerant, whoops this stuff bothers him too.
Oatmilk icecream has come a long way