As someone who loves expansion slots and hates how GPUs and SSDs keep taking them away, I'd legit want one of these if they were real. Hell, I'm still mourning the death of the physics card.
this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2026
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PhysX?
Oh man, the only time I have ever seen a PhysX card mentioned in the wild was back then on my fathers XP machine in Crazy Machines 2. And I wanted that sucker so badly. Never laid my hands on one though. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't even know what they look like...
Needs 2x 10GbE ports to download bloated React apps directly into its onboard cache. Otherwise perfect.
I wish I didn't know developers who would look at this and go "What's the joke? Sounds like a good idea."
It does sound like a good idea tbh
Guilty.
95 percent of the people using computers are just using them for a browser.
Let's implement the DOM in hardware!
Nothing quite like locking yourself further into a broken, patched together frankenmess forever based only on momentum.
I love the idea that somebody at NIST is in charge of collating a Standard Minions Meme Collection.
You know it would be some suburban moms.
I just learned about WebXR so yesterday I set up a new Angular project to build a VR game in (it's Angular because I couldn't figure out how to use the a-frame libraries custom html tags in React/JSX).
Using Javascript for calculating how 3d objects interact doesn't feel too bad, but there is something uniquely cursed about defining those objects in plain ol HTML.
I know this is a joke - but there totally is hardware acceleration for some of this stuff in modern processors. There definitely is for JS, JSON and generally string stuff. It's not even x86 only, ARM got these kinds of things as well (although likely less of it)
I've always wondered about string handling - it's so common, and seemed to be an afterthought in every processor I ever learned about their instructions. Of course, I last touched assembly language 30 years ago, so... I would hope there's been some progress since then.
The 8088 CPU (the one from the original IBM PC) had special string scanning support with both instructions and registers. The SI (source index) and DI (destination index) were such registers, and a bunch of instructions related.
However, specialized instructions take die area on the CPU. In the 1980s a movement based on the observation that most sophisticated instructions were not used much, and it would be better to concentrate on making very common operations (like add, load, store, shift, or whatever) fast. That started reduced-instruction set computing (RISC).
RISC was so successful that x86 chips switched to the model with a RISC-like core and implementing more sophisticated fuctions in "microcode". Today Linux can load microcode, which is basically patching the firmware of the CPU itself.
Anyway, of course the drive towards RISC ended as people realized that some advanced functionality is really useful. In the 1990s and 2000s this was focused around new limitations: it was impossible to get higher frequencies so running a single core couldn't get faster. CPUs added SIMD (single instruction, multiple data) support as well as hyperthreading.
Now... revisiting string operations and adding CPU support would be possible. Engineers at CPU design shops look at how their chip space is used and optimize the die area for instruction sets and also registers, cache, and so on. But my guess is that it doesn't make sense or it would have happened a decade ago already.
Hardware acceleration for an interpreted programming language? Can you point me to a specific example or clarify what you mean, because I find that hard to believe.
I'm not sure what they were going for, but I know that modern browsers do just in time compilation for regularly repeated code parts to allow much faster execution, so "interpreted programming language" may be a little of a blurry definition. See https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Glossary/Just_In_Time_Compilation
I couldn't find any info on any hardware specific to JS/JSON for clients but I'm no expert, maybe they will provide more info.
Damn do you need 64gb of sweet DDR5 to run this
No, it requires at least 256 GB of unified memory to run its AI.
I want that thing to never do a captcha again, please
The day is getting close, as long as the site uses rePrompt and you sign in to Google, on a Google browser, on a Google certified Android device with proprietary Google services. Otherwise maximum intruptions for you.
With catptchas becoming more and more common as sites try to stop AI crawlers, I suspect that's going to become a real thing...
A real thing that irrevocably identifies you online, with absolutely no anonymity, and costs $9.95 per month, and only works on Cloudfare captchas.
I think the only valid use of Ai should be to solve captchas for you.
Actually an iPhone is a bit more than $9.95 a month https://support.apple.com/en-gb/guide/iphone/iph4f43a30c9/ios
This is brilliant.
It's gonna need lots of RAM and then cost a fortune...
Don't worry we offer financing options at very fair rates which also include a discount for the first year of the mandatory ad-supported subscription required to use the card.