Better have that recording of your boss saying he finds 15-year-olds attractive ready. It will then be a short merting but a significant increase in your salary.
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This happened to me this morning. I got promoted to department head.
My condolences
Are you happy about that or not? Need to know before I congratulate you. Haha.
I'm nervous and pleased to be recognized for my efforts.
Thanks for asking
Or just your boss with a strongly worded lecture accompanied by table pounding.
You: “Wait… Why can’t I log into this meeting? “
Them: “Dont worry about it…”
———
Just a reminder kids, HR is there to fuck you. They are not there to help you.
Never look to HR for help unless your problem can be used to blackmail the company into basic compliance.
And there's a plastic sheet covering the fancy rug
Lost a couple of teammates this month to layoffs. Fucking bs.
SUP BITCHES
"So about the fotos of you fucking the secretary...."
I'm in this picture and I don't like it.
That's a weekly occurence :D
(Small company and my boss is also HR, and also we do meetings on the current tasks)
Your boss is HR? That's uh... interesting for sure
We're literally 9 people lol. This isn't enough for HR. Most of us have two roles
Hahaha alright that changes things
I was called into a meeting like this once to talk about why I got so fucking angry all the time.
Apparently ‘Stop giving me reasons to get angry’ was not an acceptable explanation.
Have you tried altering how you say things?

I'm not certain that's feasible
lmao "due to some easily offended employees"
I just don't understand why everybody else doesn't try not being a stupid asshole.
Have you tried telling them they're stupid assholes? Maybe they haven't realized.
Speaking from multiple points of experience on this one, it’s a coin toss. Sometimes it works.
I know!
Sometimes the idea of living alone in the woods in a small shack doesn’t really sound so bad.
Only some?
That's when you get let go. But when HR joined and I said "fuck" it was too late to write me up for it. So I had that going for me!
What school or church did you work for where you weren’t allowed to curse in private?
I wasn't in private, HR was there. My boss joined shortly after.
So you weren’t in front of children or customers, just your superiors. Using a four-letter word in front of them was enough to offend their sensibilities that they would have written you up for it had they not already intended to fire you.
Real inspirational leadership right there.
Probably not, I was just trying to make a joke. I failed.
I exhaled audibly.
I got sent home for the day because I responded to the wrong email. I clicked on the wrong email and wrote a response that didn't make any sense.
From home, I sent one last email to work saying I wouldn't be returning to work. That was the last thing I said them. That really pissed them off, they tried so hard to get me to come back in for an "exit interview", which is just what they use to cover their ass. They even withheld a bonus check. By law, they can't withhold your last paycheck owed, though.
Exit interviews are fun i rip management a thousand new arseholes
I would have loved for a former employer to try and pull that stunt in my state. All I'd have to do is take that recording/email to any judge and automatically get 3x in damages plus the original amount. You don't fuck with earned wages in Colorado.
Same in Florida, and I'd guess most states. Employees don't know their rights and come into spaces like this bitching. A call to the state labor board and that employer has to produce answers and the employee is automatically right unless they can prove otherwise.
Call people a "resource" is so on the nose. We're just another input on their spreadsheet. Something to use and exploit to generate profit for them.
I'm surprised more people don't point this out.
I still feel it's better than "human capital."
Im14andthisisdeep
They must be fast tracking giving me a raise!
HR is there to sign off so there’s no waiting, nice!
They wanna hear the really good joke i made earlier!
Tell me this is slavery without telling me this is slavery.
Tell me you're not familiar with slavery, etc...
Stfu. We are all slaves to our jobs and bills.
Poor thing
I know you are.