Depends on your film genre though.
Currently I am old enough to be the mentor figure that gets killed off to motivate the hero.
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2026
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Look, I'm sorry but the Hero has Refused the Call and we have to get them on their Journey somehow.
I'm the kooky conspiracy not-quite-middle-aged guy who tries to keep to himself that people try to avoid but turns out he was right the whole time
The worst thing is having to scroll farther and father down when selection your date of birth in online forms. I'm like "why does this start after 2000? kids don't use this thing" and then I realize people born in 2008 are 18 now.
Personally, most cases that use a drop down to select a year are cases where I don't care for them to know my actual birthdate, so just roll that mouse wheel like it's the price is right and pick whatever year looks nice, you can be from the silent generation or the silent film generation!
Waaaaayyyy back in the day I did this and said I was born in like 1910 or something (which was an actual option on the wheel) and I got a pop-up that said something like “put in a real DOB.” What if I had actually been a tech-savvy ninety year old, huh?
Ah neat, I don't usually go that old but was wondering how some handled ages going from reasonable to possible to unlikely to impossible. Especially since giving a "age too old" error could count as age discrimination.
But what if you work at Camp Muderblood? 🫣
Thank goodness I'm not quite old enough to be Mrs Voorhees.
They won't listen, such is life
Eventually, you morph into Danny Glover all the time. "I'm getting too old for this shit!"
Or the guy fixing up his fishing cabin with his buddy.
"Some kid just hucked himself right into the wood chipper!"
I sincerely hope Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk know how much tons of people love that movie.
That movie is an annual Halloween tradition for my wife and me.
I went to a screening years back, Tyler was in attendance. They definitely know.
🥰
"Well howdy officer, we've had a doozy of a day"
I quote that, at minimum, weekly.
Did I just say something vaguely threatening, or offer a foreshadowing clue to your survival and vital plot progression?
Who knows?
Better lock your oven then
No. Let the unknowable cosmic horror take me.
Can't be worse than going to work every day for the rest of my life.
Don't talk like that. That's not your future!
You'll be laid off at some point.
No. Let the unknowable cosmic horror take me.
But it's only taking your spinal fluid. One sip at a time. Until one night there's nothing left and you die seemingly from old people disease.
still better than going to work every day.
I might be sad about not writing my book, but I'm already sad about that so fuckit.
You still have to until you die ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Peacefully in my sleep? What's the catch?
It takes weeks and you have to get up and live your regular life until then
Ugh
It's got hands, it can't be that unknowable
Why warn them?
Purely for the enjoyment of being cryptic and menacing while delivering the warning.
Do not go beyond the sacred line, David, for it is forbidden! And that will be $178.55 for the gas, and $8 for the room temp bottled water. Would you like to buy some insurance?
How...how did you know my (the protagonist's) name? Why is there a sign saying "David pies, coming soon!"?
I think you better look again.
Apples for Sale.
creepy music
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Fuck that!
I’m the old guy laughing maniacally in the rocker on the porch; urging them on!
Yeah, probably at the point where I could be one of the town folk in the gas station overheard asking "do ya think Pete the butcher's gonna make up a batch of those special meat pies again?"
"Shit, looks like I need to stop procrastinating and do a load of ritual robes."
"Dammit Pete, you know they won't be dry by tonight and waiting for night 2 makes it so much more risky because someone always notices the demon circles in the daylight, which puts them on guard. Plus they might see them hanging on your clothes lines!"
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I think I'm the smartass who gets murdered 3rd.
I used to be the voluptuous final girl and now I’m the old hag. At least I still have a role, and now I’m winning!
Keep at it! You can still become Pamela Voorhees!
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You're probably in the ripe age to be the center of the mystery in Files of X
You might age into store clerk who may or may not be murdered by Anton Chigurh before long.
I was given my first senior citizen discount today without asking 😩
F
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