if you're curious about why someone did a thing, ask that person directly.
The general internet will not know any facts, and will only assume everything based on their experiences, and echo chambers they like to visit all the time..
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2026
3 points (54.5% liked)
Ask Lemmy
42007 readers
1307 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
8) No Bots.
Posts or comments from bots, LLM's, AIs, Neural Networks, Transformers, or Marvin the Paranoid Android are not welcome in AskLemmy. Real humans only please.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
The best advice you'll get! Always go to the source!
At worst, he gives you a cagey answer, and then you have information about how this person handles direct questions.
At best, he gives you an understandable answer and you grow closer as a result!
Generally speaking, think about forming your statements as "When you said/did X, I felt Y". This is sometimes called "telling your own story". Example...
"You were being evasive!"
Vs.
"When you went off the dating app, The story I made up about it is that you were trying to avoid me".
Even if it doesn't work out this is always great practice for life. Best of luck!
I'm just posting to say why tf ppl are downvoting this post? This is a legit post that someone is writing that isn't somehow garbage.
Person is legit just asking for advice FFS. Why tf are you ppl downvoting?
Means more to me than you know, thank you!
Because its the wrong community and the person is asking for what someone means when likely none of us know either of them. They need to nut up and ask the person directly.
Do you know if they still have the account or if they may have deleted it? Possibly they weren’t getting much out of the All… other than you, which is obvious.
I’ve used apps I didn’t like for a few weeks, and if I made a connection where we were texting off the app, I wouldn’t see a need to mention me deleting my account on the original app.
Food for thought.
I agree. After you've seen each other a few times, no need to keep using an app, and if you want to keep seeing them, you don't necessarily want to have a profile up.
Walk away is my advice after I read your previous post.
Reception is never a good reason to obstain from important questions to you, especially in a relationship that is very much still up in the air. This type of behavior is just going to prolong bad relationships or weaken boundaries within good relationships. Be honest and upfront, encourage them to do the same, and walk away if things are revealed you don't like. It's not like those things would just go away if you don't ask.
I would say just ask him, but after reading all your other posts (assuming this is the same guy) id say keep looking
Are you confused?
Or do you know exactly what to do but don't want to admit it
Probably both. And in your pov I know that I shouldn’t invest in him and I’m in denial? This sucks. I just got these bad cramps and already said yes to meeting today and afraid I’ll regret cancelling last minute since he might walk away then
You know it's not right but your fear is clouding your judgment.
Aren't you tired of losers who don't love you right?
Seems like the guy have moved on
Just go on the date, check the vibes, and try not to be too anxious.
Its normal to be nervous when you think you might have something. But don't let it get in the way.