this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 47 comments
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[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 7 points 3 hours ago

Olive Garden: When you're here yo-hey, what's she doing with that breadstick?

[–] darthsundhaft@piefed.social 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

The pfp looks wildly young. This is oddly timely with the caller that called into EITM this morning who sounded like a middle schooler but was really some 50 year old pickle ball champion.

[–] aSaabD00d@lemmy.today 1 points 1 hour ago

I need to get iHeartRadio. I sometimes miss Elliot and crew. Grew up on DC101 bc my dad always listened to it.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

That's what the breadsticks are for, isn't it?

[–] hamsamrich@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Hell yeah masturbation! A man’s private time to get er done!

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Which olive garden is it, so that I don't accidentally go there every night for the next few weeks?

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 10 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Bipauler@sh.itjust.works 1 points 53 minutes ago

To be fair, that might actually make it worth the prices they're charging nowadays

[–] DrPop@lemmy.world 20 points 6 hours ago

Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.

[–] hamsamrich@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

That’s not what they mean by “unlimited breadsticks”!!

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

One way to use those endless bread sticks.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 1 points 56 minutes ago

Breadstick ass to ass unlocked

[–] tempest@lemmy.ca 13 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know. Sounds like a yeast infection waiting to happen.

[–] bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 hours ago

Turning them breadsticks into sourdough bread, win win

[–] CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today 2 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

Men sure have a lot of misconceptions regarding what things women find pleasurable.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

You sure have a lot of misconceptions regarding men and general humor.

[–] HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Some people sure can't miss an opportunity to be misandrist.

How do you even know MeatPilot is a man making a dumb joke in the dumb jokes community and not e.g. a woman or enby making a dumb joke in the dumb jokes community?

[–] InputZero@lemmy.world 10 points 5 hours ago

Perhaps read the community name. That should help explain the situation.

[–] Bipauler@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

Hey! I'll have you know I love sticking breadsticks in my hole! (They are tasty!)

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 12 points 7 hours ago

The sign said “no shirt, no shoes, no service.” It didn’t say anything about no fucksaw.

[–] TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world 78 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I'll have what she's having?

[–] bigmclargehuge@lemmy.zip 56 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

I assume the unlimited breadsticks

[–] ladel@feddit.uk 21 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I am the Bone of my Baguette

Dough is my Body and Yeast is my Blood.

I have created over a Thousand Breads,

Unknown to Death,

Nor known to Life.

Have withstood Pain to create many Loaves

Yet those Hands will never hold Anything. So, as I Pray--

Unlimited Breadsticks

[–] Mac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 hour ago

For some reason i read this as being sung by Deathklok

"I AM BE DANGEROUS NOW" etc etc

[–] Bonje@lemmy.world 9 points 9 hours ago

Fated comment

[–] generic_computers@lemmy.zip 13 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You're putting them in your mouth... right?

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 15 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] skankhunt42@lemmy.ca 10 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] nastronot@lemmy.zip 10 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Would you believe it? Also mouth

[–] Bipauler@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 hours ago

Fuck. Now I want fucking breadsticks

[–] EnsignRoApologist@lemmy.world 11 points 8 hours ago

Stuffed shells with clam sauce?

[–] rslogix89@lemmy.world 38 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

“When you're here, you're family”

[–] M137@lemmy.today 2 points 3 hours ago

And their family is real sick of the loud masturbation.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 20 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

That's why I shit with the stall door open there.

[–] n7gifmdn@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

What are you doing step-server?

[–] wake@quokk.au 11 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] byte21516@leminal.space 10 points 8 hours ago

olive garden? This is a Wendy's.

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 22 points 10 hours ago

🙋‍♂️
Can I go anywhere other than Olive Garden or does it have to be another Olive Garden?

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

Needs more pepper and Parmesan.

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 3 points 9 hours ago

This genius is a big H3 fan so this is probably not a shitpost but an admission

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

That AI generated profile picture

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 5 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

I think it's probably real, she's just always funny-looking

https://linktr.ee/awnuhaha

[–] SailorFuzz@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

very paraprosdokian