this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2026

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306

Jeshus H Christ. Why do they put delicious biscuits in these surprise cans? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by daannii@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

79 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I went years not eating these because of the terror and anxiety of having to open one. And one day by chance (dropped it in the sink that had water in it.) I found the secret to not getting the piss scared out of you.

Here it is. These cans are cardboard. Cardboard disintegrates in water.

If you peel back just a little of the paper. And sit it in a bowl, Make sure the side you peeled is facing down. and pour in a little water.

Then quickly leave the room or put it in your fridge or something. And in a minute or two it will pop open. And you will hear it from a safe distance. And you will be okay.

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[–] bss03@infosec.pub 8 points 18 hours ago

I always enjoyed opening them as a kid. The pop was just as satisfying as a jack in the box, plus in a few minutes there'd be hot biscuits.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 9 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Why? You just peel it a lil and give it a tiny tap it and it goes "pufffff". Much satisfy.

I will happy open all of yours for you. I'm also immune to onions, so I will cut them if I get some of what you're making

[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 hours ago

I absolutely love opening them. You never know if it will do a big pop or a little pfft. Nice little surprise.

My wife sometimes buys it and forgets to tell me and about 3-4 hrs later a resounding pop will emit from the shopping bag.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

So if you peel it too much it will sometimes pop while peeling.

If you don't peel it enough and wack it on the counter, it won't pop. So then you try peeling it again.

Sometimes that will make it pop. Sometimes not.

It's the unpredictability of the damn things.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds like you're doing too much peeling and not enough tapping

There's a sweet spot like a ketchup bottle. It's like 1/3 of the way down, you only have to peel it a little bit and tap the right spot onto the corner of the counter

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

And I'm 40 and still haven't figured it out.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

I peel a little and then dig my thumb into the seam. I used to use a spoon, but it was too unpredictable. I used to be afraid that it would somehow hurt my thumb, but it just pops with a little poof of air and some noise. It was a hard fear to overcome, but fuck those biscuit cans, I'll bite them bitches open now! (Not really bite though, that's too much)

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I applaud your tenacity to defeat the biscuit terror.

I know it's a stupid fear. I know it's illogical. The can can't hurt me. Yet....

It's like that puff of air at the eye doctor they use to check eye pressure.

I know it won't hurt me. Yet I often blink (another reflex) and they have to do it more than once.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 7 hours ago

Oh I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's not a stupid fear (to me at least). It seems to be quite common; some of us are just a little more sensitive of those fears or think about it more?

It's my own personal thing to stare at the things that scare me. I fucking hate being scared of the dark

Story Time: I was a toddler and my parents took me to a fireworks show. I had an absolute meltdown as they tried to get me out of the car, because the explosions scared the shit out of me. They pretended they would leave me in the car, and I didn't give a fuck, I was scared and would happily stay there. So they pulled me out and carried me into the bleachers so we could watch (it's supposed to be fun)

So I sat at the show, and I had my hands clamped against my ears, trying to escape the noise. My dad pried my hands off of my ears as fireworks were exploding.... and I absolutely loved how loud and bright it was. The scary booms became delightful, and I loved it. It still sticks with me, how much I was about to miss because it was scary to me (and loud)

Though it does sound like my dad was being a dick (cause it was assholish)... I'm glad he got me to take a look that night, through hell or high water. It's helped me to sit with a lot of "loud noises" throughout my life

[–] ignoble_stigmas@sh.itjust.works 2 points 16 hours ago

A “thumb”, sure

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If you absolutely must buy packaged biscuits, buy the bagged, frozen Walmart brand and thank me later. Bonus: no PTSD, aside from being vastly superior.

Sincerely,

A southerner who's eaten my share of biscuits.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think I knew these existed. Thanks 👍

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Great Value brand in the plastic bag, frozen little discs you just pop on a baking sheet. Used to be $5 but probably $6-$7 now for like two dozen and they're in a totally different league.

[–] Bipauler@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You just smack it on the edge of the counter. What the fuck?

[–] mika_mika@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Autism.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

It's actually called the startle reflex.

A lack of the startle reflex can be indicative of neurological problems. So it's a pretty good feature to have.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Startle_response

However, like many reflexes, it can be over-ridden with effort.

Being ready for a response can often help negate a startle reflex.

However, I am unable to do that for these fucking canned biscuits! Although I can for other loud sounds.

I think it's because I can't perfectly predict when it will happen.

Years of trauma will not allow me to try breaking the can on the counter. Which would be a way to perfectly predict the sound. But I've been fearful of the biscuits for too long.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 2 points 22 hours ago

You've got to tap them ... It's a sensory delight

I've never once not tapped them, it sounds horrible

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

People with cptsd have a sensitive reflex. A lot of us people with autism have cPTSD.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Might make such people more prone to being bothered by them.

But anyone can be bothered by these damn biscuits.

Being startled by canned biscuits popping is not a diagnostic criteria for autism or PTSD.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 2 points 19 hours ago

But it would be very convenient to have such an easy and cheap test. Getting diagnosed is a hassle and not cheap over here.

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[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I had to have a bunch of hardware installed in my hand after being involved in a workplace accident involving an explosion caused by compressed air.

I didn't think it left anything but a physical mark until I opened a biscuit tin a couple months after recovery.....Took about a year until opening crescent rolls and biscuit containers didn't tickle the big PTSD nerve.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

When my mom was a kid, the house next door exploded from a gas leak. Killed everyone inside and her trauma from that made her have to leave the room when I, the assigned can popper, popped one of these open. Same with balloons, anything with a loud, sudden noise.

PTSD is real, yo. That shit lasts a whole lifetime.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 2 points 13 hours ago

Luckily mine was fairly temporary, but for a good year or so I was pretty antsy around any kind of compressed gas.

[–] lenocolomo@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

That's why we Germans call them "Knack & Back". (Pop and bake could be the English equivalent)

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 9 points 1 day ago (3 children)

The problem I have with those isn't the pop (though that was startling at first), its that every single one ive tried has entirely the wrong taste and texture for biscuits. Especially the taste, those always seem to taste so sweet at to be almost like cake, when, to me at least, biscuits should not be sweet at all unless jam or honey has been put on them.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 1 points 15 hours ago

These were great when I was a kid. Same with the cinnamon rolls. I didn't know how good real biscuits were.

Got one on a whim a while back and it was beyond disgusting. Tasted like what a machine thinks a picture of a cinnamon roll might taste like.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 3 points 22 hours ago

Yeah, it's carbs on carbs, no nutrients or fiber to be found. They're really dangerous, I don't allow myself to cook them because I'd probably eat the whole tube in one sitting

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Yeah they definitely have added sugar

[–] zeejoo@thelemmy.club 21 points 1 day ago (11 children)

Huh? If you remove the paper, just karate chop the can and it'll pop, and it won't scare you because it'll be direct feedback from hitting it. You don't just have to wait for it to go on its own lol

[–] imadethis@fedinsfw.app 3 points 16 hours ago

I've always loved karate chopping them open, and yeah, giving a big ole "hiiii-yaaa!" basically fixed the jump scare.

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[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Would you like to play a game?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I always wanted to take this and Operation apart to find a way of combining them to make the "punishment" of failing Perfection more intense. I never had Operation and thought it actually shocked you.

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[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

I fucking hate these things. Back in the day, you used a spoon and knew when it would pop. Who the fuck decided my biscuits should include a jump scare? Fuck whichever designer made me afraid of biscuits.

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[–] Emi@ani.social 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I have no idea what the thing on the right is. Never saw it around here in europe.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 3 points 22 hours ago

Imagine bread dough, but it's more like a slightly pressurized paste in a cardboard tube

I'm pretty sure most Europeans would burn you at the stake for crimes against bread

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[–] RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I love grabbing the ripcord like a safety pin and letting it go off like an adorable little gernard.

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