this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] dragonlover@lemmy.zip 95 points 23 hours ago (9 children)

ITT: people that have never seen these kind of copypastas before. This isnt a unique phenomenon, they go out every holiday and major event. Here is one I got on halloween from a friend:

DICK or TREAT! 🍬 DICK or TREAT! πŸ¬πŸ™πŸΌ GIVE ME πŸ™πŸΌ SOMETHING πŸ˜‰ GOOD TO EAT! 🐱 πŸ‘… 😈 Happy HalloWEINER πŸŽƒ all you VAGINA LICKING VAMPIRES πŸ§›πŸ»β€ΌοΈ Now that COCKtober πŸ—“ has CUM πŸ’¦ to an end, the Spookiest πŸ‘» and SLUTTIEST 😈 holiday is upon us: SLUT-O-WEEN! πŸŽƒβ€ΌοΈ So it’s time ⏰ for all you Bad Bitch πŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈWitches πŸ§™πŸ»β€β™€οΈto hop OFF πŸ™…πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ that broomstick 🧹 and hop πŸ”› this dick! 🌽 Your mansπŸ™‹πŸ½β€β™‚οΈwill celebrate πŸŽ‰ by MUNCHING πŸ˜‹ your Laffy Taffy 🍬 and πŸ‘†πŸΌButterFINGERINGπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ˜‚ that PEPPERMINT 😻 PUSSY 😻 until you MOAN 😡 with Almond JOY‼️ SUCKK 🍭 his HARDDD πŸ’ͺ🏾 BLOW πŸ’¨ POP until he StarBURSTS πŸ’¦ his 🍯 BIT O HONEY 🍯 😈 into your JELLY BELLY! 😱πŸ₯° This SLUT-O-WEEN πŸŽƒ don’t πŸ™…πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ be a bore 😴........ so make sure βœ”οΈ you DRESS πŸ‘  like a TOTAL πŸ’πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ WHORE! πŸ€ΈπŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ˜ˆ Send πŸ“© this to 6️⃣9️⃣ HALLOWEEN HOES πŸ‘―β€β™€οΈ before MIDNIGHT 🌚 CUMS or you’ll be CURSED πŸŒ€πŸ˜± with a NO 🚫 NUT πŸ₯œ NOVEMBER 😭😭😭

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

My God this abomination of text should not exist. We have to go back.

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[–] spectrums_coherence@piefed.social 23 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Mandatory bluesky account... ewww.

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[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 149 points 1 day ago (4 children)

A lot of people here missing the joke that Maga usually writes messages like this, and that this is a parody

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

And A lot of people seem to be sincerely liking that mess, which is... disconcerting...

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 5 points 14 hours ago

I'm thrilled that it bothers you. We will keep posting, ty for the encouragement πŸ€—

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[–] Pika@sh.itjust.works 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

I didn't actually realize people still sent copypastas. Like I've always seen the filters on messaging and like auto mod stuff, but I've never actually seen anyone do it in like 15-20 years now so I actually had stopped enabling those type of filters.

I'm not disappointed about that though, I don't feel like I've lost anything of value.

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[–] shweddy@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Does anyone have the pasta?

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[–] TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca 11 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (3 children)

TIL some families fight over politics

/s

I feel like that text message was algorithmically designed to cause a stroke

[–] regdog@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

Better an open fight than quiet resentment.

[–] BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

I think even brain damaged LLM would have a hard time coming up with this shit

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Ikrβ€½ mine just stops talking to each other over it

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 194 points 1 day ago (7 children)

We're already on WOKE 2.0.3. Make sure to update, because there was a pretty important security issue that was patched.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 30 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Debian users casually still having to use WOKE 0.9.1 with a gtk2 ui cause theyre stuck in 2010

[–] umbraroze@piefed.social 11 points 18 hours ago

Nah, that's a misconception. It's been upgraded in recent version to a fork of 1.4.22, before the weird trademark rules and proprietary components were introduced.

(It's not the ESR version, because Eric S. Raymond didn't want anything to do with woke)

[–] BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago

In order to compile this code you need WOKE 1.4.7+ as per dependency requirements

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 6 points 17 hours ago

In an excess of caution, 4 has been increased to 5.

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)

CIA Chatbot snuck in there again eh?

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago

Nah, NSA does that. CIA are the

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Hey! I thought it would lead to some oil! You seen gas prices lately?

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

If you're not on nightly alpha builds are you even a true wokie?

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

Even if they are doing nightly builds, I'm not wokey at night, I'm sleepey.

[–] BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

Woke 2.0.2 was CRAZY!

[–] bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fuck I was late and they got my fridge, thanks for spreading the word

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago

Ah shit they put Twitter on it didn’t they?

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[–] Archer@lemmy.world 18 points 21 hours ago (6 children)

How dare you not post the copyable text too lol

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[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 74 points 1 day ago

>smoke a fat blunt to celebrate the voting outcomes Β 
>text your racist mother this

[–] DEJED@feddit.org 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don’t know the background or family history here… but I am going to bet that mom had it coming… just guessing here

[–] DrSoap@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Probably sent one just like that when Trump won the election but it wasn't abuse when she did it.

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[–] AutumnalAdjacent@piefed.social 73 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] foo@feddit.uk 11 points 22 hours ago

Flipping seats that have never been flupped

[–] gaiety@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 day ago

discovered my newest stim

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 90 points 1 day ago (6 children)

That rage bait reads like a hexbear copypasta

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.social 51 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It’s about ten times more intelligent and twenty times more legible than anything a hexbear can write.

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[–] trojanbark@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago

This is absolutely hilarious

[–] neidu4@piefed.social 34 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Does my inability to read that make me genX?

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[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 29 points 1 day ago

"saying no their vegetables" lol

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