These haunt me. Why are they all over the place?
this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2026
495 points (97.9% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
42834 readers
3852 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
I stole this from Reddit from someone that stole it from Instagram
Screenshotted Instagram meme
Specifically that are uploaded as videos I think to attempt to make them more difficult to save directly without screenshotting
Instagram bad. We don't want the Zucc.
Police: "How high are you?"
Driver: "It's hi, how are you"
When you're too high to even realize that the words are in that order, so you just say "Hi, I'm doing pretty good! How about you?"
“That’s Mister Freeze to you, bub!”
Was that ever in a Batman iteration?
Because it damn well should be canon!
Now that I think about it, it's kind of weird that he doesn't want to be called Dr. Freeze.
Could be he's a bit like Two Face.
Once he was Dr. Frees, Ph. D. and now he's Mr. Freeze!
keeping his identity secret!
If you tell them you're a sovereign nation under international maritime law, they have to immediately let you go.
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"50 knots"
You have to find out beforehand if the flag in the local courthouse has gold frills on the edges.
"I haven't had a cunt all day, Drinkstable."
"You had to have been doing at least a hundred to catch me. Don't you know that's dangerous?"
"That was fun! Wanna go again?"
"Don't you know I have places to be? Now, are you finished or are you done?"
What seems to be the officer problem?
"Fuck, Larry, every time we get high I start hallucinating that you're a cop."
“Your eyes look a little red. Have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?”
Then he cries over his divorce, you comfort him and he lets you go scot free.
"Don't be a hero."
JFC, how to get shot in less than 5 seconds. I love it.
For best effect, hold your right arm perpendicular to the car door, hand out of sight. Look 'em right in the eye and deadpan the delivery.
With any luck they'll back away to draw their gun, and step in front of a bus. Then you get a free gun.
Also a free bus.
"I've only had teen martoonis!"
I lost my job for no reason or rhyme. Guess that means it's marti time!
Change weapon to gun and it's absolute perfection.
Ossifer.
I recall an Insane Clown Posse skit/track where the officer asks Shaggy2Dope something like, "And where are we going today in such a hurry?"
And Shaggy replied, "Up your Ma's ass".
Which I thought was somewhat amusing, given police pulling people over would only ever receive polite responses from drivers.
Plata e plomo?
O
Oh