Ask Lemmy

When I first learned that people were transitioning their gender, I was very much "live and let live," but took exception at having to call people their preferred pronoun. It seemed like a rigged game to me, like they wanted you to guess at what their gender is, and if you got it wrong, you're a bigot.

Then my wife was like "what harm does it do to call them what they prefer?"

And I thought about all the hurtful names people teased me with at school, and how I wished they would've just called me by my name.

So I said "OK," and that was that. It hasn't been as hard as I thought to recognize what people wish to be called. Unless you're dealing with a "they/them," then they gotta tell you. Or if you're dealing with a butch lesbian that dresses boy-ish. On those occasions, I just try not to use any pronouns or talk to them extensively for fear of messing up.

Israel.

I used to support Israel, until I heard about them executing children in Gaza.

I used to believe I had an ex-girlfriend in Chicago, but once that person came out as nonbinary trans with he/they pronouns I now know that I have an ex-boyfriend/ex-theyfriend in Chicago.

That progress is inevitable.

gestures wildly

I used to think Tankies were misguided but harmless. Now I understand, if they got their way, they'd be dangerous.

I got into a fairly in depth conversation with one of them where they explained that they believed that the suspension of freedom, suppression of speech and expression, and sustained authoritarianism were necessary to achieve the socialist utopia. Except worse, they believe that these bad things should be in place until the entire world was socialist. If even one country wasn't socialist, that would be the justification for suppression on the rest of the entire world. So essentially they're defending worldwide authoritarianism and suppression of everyone in perpetuity.

I'd point you to this conversation so you could be your own judge, but true to their suppression methods, they exercised their own authoritarianism, deleted all my posts on the subject leaving only their own, because they said I was speaking against socialism and that can't be allowed fulfilling the exact authoritarianism and suppression I was citing as a problem with their philosophy.

This feels basic now but I used to be very 'pro tech' and would have latest-ish phones, getting smart gadgets, etc.

Now I consider those features to be negatives and refuse to buy things with internet, if possible.

The use of language. My mom was a proofreader for a handful of local editorials, so the "correctness" of language was pushed very hard on to me from very little. As a result, I pushed for "correct" language onto others very hard as well. And this isnt about English, but my birth language, which has lots of conjugation rules, gendering details, grammar quirks and special cases; so people do tend to deviate from proper grammar a lot in informal settings (and sometimes in formal as well). I became a "language nazi" of sorts, and noticed quickly how people spoke fearfully in front of me to avoid making mistakes and getting corrected. This was something I (regretfully) took pride of.

Until one day, a friend of mine which specialized in languages said to me: "Language isn't prescriptive; it's descriptive". And it took a while, a plethora of questions, and infinite patience from her, but I eventually came around and understood what she was saying: language is what we use to convey ideas from one to the other. We stick to a given language and grammar (structure) because that's the common agreement for the language speakers, in the expectations that it makes for easier communication. BUT, if a sentence can transmit correctly a thought, even when not using a word in the dictionary or not applying grammar rules, then it's fine as long as me (or whomever is the interlocutor) understands what they're trying to say. Furthermore, even when using proper grammar with "existing words", communication can be confusing and requires clarification. If you can make up a word in the spot that better conveys what you're trying to say, then I'm all for it! (And probably will start using it myself). If you learned to speak a certain way and call stuff a different name from what I learned, or if you add extra letters to the word because that's what you were taught by your family (something very usual) then that's cool and I'll respect it.

TLDR: Language has no rules. It is what we make of it.

US gun control. Then i realised, better than medical cancer which if not dealt with by an external party will continue to kill the host, with the global cancer which is the US, at least in part it takes care of itself. I like to think every gun death in the US is one less bomb dropped on innocents, or one less innocent tortured for no reason other than that society's sick sadism, in places like Guantanamo

I used to be a conservative Christian. I was vehemently opposed to things like gay marriage and abortion.

Then I actually moved to a larger city and met gay people and, well, that became the crux of my deconstruction. Turns out people are people, no matter where or how they're born, or what they choose to be or identify as.

My views on abortion have changed, to the point where I very much do not believe in fetal personhood, though I still think late-term abortions should be shied away from if they can be avoided. Regardless, it makes no sense to remove a woman's right to choose how her body is used. It's hers. If she doesn't want to put her body through childbirth, or doesn't want to take on the immense burden of raising a child, she shouldn't have to. But, at the same time, dudes should be aware of what they can inflict upon a woman just because 'it doesn't feel as good' with a condom on. Wrap it before you tap it, boys.

The flu vaccine (pre Covid). Always been pro vax in general, just never saw the need since I never had symptomatic flu. My immune system is good enough, right?

Well, it was like a switch flipped in my brain. One day, I suddenly realized getting the shot isn't about me. If I don't vaccinate, I get the flu, and I don't have symptoms.

That makes me a carrier. I'm a disease vector. Somewhere throughout my day, I'm going to pass it on to some immunocompromised person, and I will be the reason someone's grandma doesn't make it for the holidays.

"Just the flu" still kills hundreds of thousands of people every year.