this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2025
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cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/43965177

An ex-DOGE staffer known as “Big Balls” could end up receiving the highest civilian honor in the United States, placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa.

Somehow the dumbest timeline just upped the ante

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[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 minutes ago* (last edited 3 minutes ago)

placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa.

The medal's reputation has already been tarnished, then, might as well add him.

[–] Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world 1 points 13 minutes ago

Of course. These people would give literal Hitler the presidential medal of freedom if he were around to give it to. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they award him something posthumously

[–] Laser@feddit.org 17 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Why stop there? Shell out a purple heart! Hell, make it two! Make him look like one of these old officers from dictatorships!

Ughh, I mean we are just handing military rank over to Palantir employees, so why not?

General Big Balls🎖️got his ass kicked by high schoolers while betraying his country.

[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 8 points 7 hours ago

This country is a fucking joke.

[–] rayyy@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

Anything Epstein's best buddy hands out will be noted as a total farce and those receiving them should be ridiculed relentlessly. Cue South Park.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 hours ago

if someone were to shoot him will they give him a posthumous promotion? that would be cool

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 163 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

This timeline is so fucking stupid I have difficulty believing it sometimes

[–] paper_moon@lemmy.world 59 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (3 children)

If we do live in a simulation, can I be taken out by a corrupt memory allocation, please?

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 19 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Earth.exe is causing excessive crashes, please save your work and restart.

[–] scintilla@crust.piefed.social 7 points 19 hours ago

I knew it was somehow windows fault. We should obviously be running Debian.

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 10 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

I'd like to load a backup save please

[–] StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Sometimes I like to imagine that we are in a reincarnation simulation and by the laws of quantum mechanics even if I was reborn exactly the same to relive this life again or even if the universe was started over, it would be completely different even if all variables where exactly the same. It gives me a strange hope.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Best we can do is unplug it.
Then plug it back in again.

[–] limer@lemmy.ml 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Plug.exe is not working. Check for a working internet connection

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

internet connection not found. please reinstall aol
internet connection not found. please reinstall aol

[–] Mossheart@lemmy.ca 5 points 20 hours ago

Sorry, this is a hardcore run. No save scumming.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

Hmm, well when is the last time you tested those backups to ensure they aren't corrupt?

[–] Tower@lemmy.zip 3 points 17 hours ago

COSMIC BIT FLIP 2028!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

well someone crapped my pants i would like a reinstall please

[–] StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world 9 points 18 hours ago

It's just them feeding the constant news cycle with bullshit and nonsense. I say JUST but...idk I'm getting to the point where the psy-op has worked and I don't want to pay attention to the news anymore. I might make myself a old RSS style feed for like Reuters or something but getting my news from social media has been nothing but devastating. It's gotta be somewhat intentional. Not that it's not happening, but that it's always some new stupid thing that is just the right amount of outrageous that it diluted the important stuff. I don't care about some kid called big balls. That's just a symptom. The keys they jingle to keep it so the doctor with the needle is half-forgotten. Maybe they won but at least I'll be happier.

I kinda get why the guy at the end of 1984 didn't give a shit anymore by the end.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Fascists were killed to fucking death 80 years ago. And I'll remind us all, the men who fought were around 20 then. The youngest would be 100 now.

The Smoot-Hawley Act was 95 years ago, exacerbated the Great Depression. Not to mention the stock market greed and lack of government controls that started it. Today no one remembers what that kind of poverty was like in America.

Everyone who remembers is dead. This is simply history, we do this again and again. Our turn!

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 74 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

What a ridiculous country you have going on over there

[–] Electric_Druid@lemmy.world 30 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks, we all love it and want this to be happening.

[–] frunch@lemmy.world 15 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Well if you don't drop everything and singlehandedly bring it all to a screeching halt i won't respect you and even if you try I'll find other reasons to criticize you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is the first time I've laughed at something related to our political situation in a long time. Good job on this thread guys. I appreciate it

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 39 points 20 hours ago

Release the Trump/Epstein files

[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 14 points 17 hours ago

holy shit nobody cares. stop being caught off guard by low effort outrage sideshows. next one drops in 12 hours or so, can we grow up enough to handle it?

[–] OfCourseNot@fedia.io 43 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa

One of these persons is not like the others...

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 7 points 21 hours ago

Even so, Christopher Hitchens is not rolling in his grave.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 31 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

George Tenet got one for roping us into an illegal war in Iraq.

The PMoF is meaningless.

[–] Figlizard@thelemmy.club 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

It has been for 20 years. At least.

This is not unprecedented.

[–] NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 5 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

Is this the same award that Kissinger received?

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

Yep. Ford gave him one.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

Probably. I don't know offhand.

[–] Figlizard@thelemmy.club 3 points 21 hours ago

Not gonna say it hasn't been a parade of celebrity and yah yah bs, but, Jose' Andre's. I'm good with that.

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 19 hours ago
[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 15 points 21 hours ago

Imagine being the person who has to inscribe a medal of freedom to “big balls”

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 7 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Can I kick his ass too so he can get a second medal?

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Most medals won by a puddle of bruises

[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Balls not so big if a gun is pointed in his stupid face.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah. We're armed to the fucking teeth and no one is challenging these fascists.

MAGA neighbor came stomping down the street after I called him a fascist and his wife a fat fucking Nazi. Bring it.

I calmly walked inside for my Colt .45, left the door and curtains open, awaited his arrival. He had the sense to turn the fuck around or his wife would be a widow and his daughter lacking a father. Stand your ground state!

These people never get fucking challenged. Never. They're in their echo chamber thinking everyone is on the same page. Fuck with them. Put violence on the table, make it personal.

I'm a middle-aged white guy, easy for me to say, I know. And that privilege is exactly why I push back. I can fight the fight for those less privileged. And yes, I've made my peace with dying if it comes to that. That is not a new thought to me.

Ban in 3, 2, 1...

[–] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 3 points 8 hours ago

You won't get banned for exercising your legal right to self defense against Nazis. Nor for advocating other fight fascist violence using their legal rights.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

You and me. Same page.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 21 hours ago

While I typically frown on violence, it'd be a just world if after receiving said medal, BB got his ass beat on a weekly basis.