Writing that headline absolutely made a word-nerd's day.
this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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The winner totalled 177m, and you get three skims, so almost 60m of skim each.
How many people could even throw that far?
I think I can skim a stone farther than I can throw one, given a good stone and flat water... and a few attempts. I'm definitely not getting remotely near 60m though, that's wild
Okay. So.
Stupid question.
Why don't they do some like, synthetic, maybe stoneware, "stones" that are perfectly shaped for optimal performance. One, if they were all uniform in size and mass and mass distribution, it'd be a lot easier to spot a cheat. And two, if it's optimized (or intentionally un-optomized) that removes some luck and puts the skill more center stage.
Picking a good rock seems like a skill. Though, that assumes you can get the rock you want.
The rule is that they have to be natural stones from the island
So... Planting them beforehand would have to happen by when, exactly?
440 million years, give or take, if you're going for maximum undetectability.
Yes, I understand that, the rule doesn’t make sense from a competitive point. I imagine there’d be somebody local that would happily supply something (fired clay, maybe,) at cost for an opportunity to sell stuff.
Maybe it’s just a non-serious local event, and finding the rocks is half the fun.
But really! lol.
Why don’t they dope openly in the Olympics, maybe similar here
Synthetic = cleanup needed after
stoneware is relatively environmentally benign as litter. It's just clay that's been fired (and maybe glazed, mind. but no need for that.) What makes it different from earthenware is that the type of clay used can be fired to a higher temperature, letting it fuse and turn glassy (without said glaze). terracotta pots, for example, are earthenware. something like that.
If you wanted to get even more particular, I'm sure we could sinter some artificial shale or other sedimentary rock into a synthetic stone. "synthetic" here means artificially constructed, the materials could be little different than "natural" ones already in the environment. There's probably clay deposits near by to justify that, too. (maybe not on the island, which was historically a slate quarry.) "
the reason they don't dope in the Olympics or any professional sport is because it's dangerous to the body. if everyone used a rock designed to be identical, it wouldn't be cheating, in the same way that good nutrition isn't cheating in the Olympics.
Right?
Field hockey and LaCrosse balls are all the same, have to meet a spec.
Why not just make a spec stone, sell it, and license it with certification tests?
I think it's just not really in the spirit of the event. It's not meant to be a completely serious athletic endeavour, it's a bit of fun and fundraising. They're getting 2,000 people of all ages on to a tiny island with a population of 61 to chuck some stones across a pond. There doesn't seem to be a big cash prize or anything. There was a raffle to win a wheelbarrow described as doing "0-3 mph in 1 second"
How the fuck do u cheat at skimming rocks? Planted rocks?
Rock doctoring!
Dr Matthews, also known as the "Toss Master", told BBC Radio's Good Morning Scotland that judges heard "rumours and murmurings of some nefarious deeds".
"There was a little bit of stone doctoring," he said.
"They had shaped it so that it was perfectly circular and fitted our three inch measurer.
It appears it didn’t matter, though, because the article doesn’t mention the winner as one of the rock doctors.
That's a good band name if I ever heard one: The Rock Doctors. Almost weird it isn't already taken.
It is taken. Twice. A UK group and another in Australia.
Here was me thinking that Toss Master was the one to go for
The Toss Master VS The Rock Doctors
Epic Showdown!
Same!! Toss Master gave me a chuckle
“Toss Masters” would be terrible. A quick search using two platforms indicates you’d be buried under “Toastmasters” and Cornhole bag tossing competitors.
I can't wait for a 10 part Netflix documentary about it.
Taking performance enhancing drugs? Idk if that should even matter. Steroids are not going to change your skims, gross as they are.