this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2026
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badposting

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"Bro let's go to the beach that makes you old bro oh no bro now that guys old bro I'm so scared" lmao wtf was that movie? You can't make a movie that fucking dumb, it's illegal. Stop M night, you're killing me.

Dude literally sat down and was like "Oh man, you know what would be scary? What if when you got pruning from swimming at the beach it was actually the beach making you OLD! Oh fuck that's what I'm going to call it! I'm so smart."

Please let this man make all the movies ever.

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[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 3 points 1 hour ago

I've never seen it but Boonta Vista love to joke about "the beach that makes you old"

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 4 points 4 hours ago

The Happening is absolutely hilarious, I love it.

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 6 points 5 hours ago

Stargate SG-1 did the "the beach that makes you old" concept but good in S01E08 "Brief Candle"

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 9 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

M Night, please make a movie called bean.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Beanjemin Button (it's a bean that cooks backwards)

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 3 points 4 hours ago

I would watch this doggirl-smart

[–] Edamamebean@hexbear.net 13 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Speaking of getting old, I once saw someone describe Shyamalan as the Benjamin Button of directors, in that he was a talented auteur director who grew into a clumsy film student. The accuracy of it will always stick with me.

[–] feelingyourselfdisintergrate@hexbear.net 13 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

I think Shyamalan is the greatest living American filmmaker and I'm not joking

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 12 points 7 hours ago

This is the plot of his latest movie: "The Post that makes you Have Hot Takes"

[–] danisth@hexbear.net 9 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

I'd love to hear some rationale for this, it's quite a take, or is it a bit?

[–] Volcatile@hexbear.net 2 points 1 hour ago

not OP but M Night is also an entirely independent filmmaker who self-funds his movies through his own production company. his movies are ass but they are entirely his own un-meddled vision, which is rare these days and i do admire

[–] feelingyourselfdisintergrate@hexbear.net 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

No and in fact I find the mainstream reception to his later works somewhat puzzling. All of the films I've seen of his* (Which is all but 4 now) I've found deftly constructed and profoundly emotionally resonant. Each of his films have moved me in ways 99% of other Hollywood productions have failed to. Plus I think he's one of the greatest image makers of modern cinema, each film is gorgeously shot with heaps of incredibly evocative compositions. I think his detractors seem to focus on his perceived weakness as a screenwriter, and I can see how his dialogue might not be for everyone, but it clicks for me. Maybe it's because I'm not neurotypical enough but I don't find myself concerned with how conversations are "supposed to sound".

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago

This take rocks, comrade.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 4 points 6 hours ago

All the others are secretly zombies or Canadian, like Tom Green.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 8 points 8 hours ago

Yeah but only because all the other ones died on New Years' but the news are being held back. This was the plot of the Happening right?

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 15 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

We need more movies in the "_____ that makes you _____" genre

The Beach that makes you Old

The Forest that makes you a 19th Century Villager

The Island that makes you Poo

The Arby's that makes you Chinese

[–] LeninWeave@hexbear.net 7 points 6 hours ago

The Podcast that makes you a Serf

You're in fucking 1320, motherfucker-

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 11 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

The Arby's that makes you Chinese

How do you say roast beef sub in cantonese?

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 11 points 9 hours ago

I don't know, i haven't been to that Arby's yet

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 12 points 9 hours ago

That one's actually based off a French science fiction comic

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 10 points 9 hours ago

Old? He was making movies about us?