this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 106 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It's good to see more trumpian competence in action...

Twenty-nine year old Chandler Patey has been regularly protesting outside his local ICE facility in South Portland for months, offering up his apartment to fellow protesters to use the bathroom or wash off pepper spray, according to local news.

To the Department of Homeland Security, “he is the leader of Antifa in Portland, OR.”

Elementary my dear epstein.

BTW, sounds like a fucking legend. I hope I am so good when the bullshit arrives here.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 58 points 2 months ago

offering up his apartment to fellow protesters to use the bathroom or wash off pepper spray

Wow what a terrorist! When other citizens walk in with pepper spray on them he lets them wash it off?

I bet he and his co-conspirators were involved with the undcheduled shut down of the Orphan Crushing Machine too!

[–] robomuffin79@lemmy.world 85 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When the leader of a group of anti-fascists becomes the bad guy. American world war 2 soldiers who died on the battlefield must be turning in their graves

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 23 points 2 months ago

Read it as burning in their graves. Still made sense.

[–] furzegulo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I guess it's over then 😟

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not yet, he's friend with l33t hax0r and the Anonymous man.

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago

They've got em. Our most closely hidden secret leader. What will the cabal do without him?

[–] DrYes@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

better send Kyle Reetenhouse back in time

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

We will organize the factions and all the underground clans and unite to free our leader!

You may see this as a defeat, but this may be the driving force that finally brings together the Seven Barista Legions in the West and the Mighty Purple Hairs of the South, along with the scattered troupes of Transamurai that are now walking the wastes without a master.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

next they will "identify" the "leader of lgbtq+"

[–] WhiteRice@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Who assumed the crown after Freddy?

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I didn't know anyone had been crowded since Prince died.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Umm, prince was pretty famously hetero.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But was he cis though? Anyway I once heard him referred to as a purple love gnome, so that's where he sits in my brain.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can't say that word! Elon will ban you!

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[–] verdi@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I see they follow the gestapo playbook. Why use the legal system when you can just say "belongs to terrorist org" and snag whoever you want off the street. 

[–] ServantOfRa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago

I mean, that's one step too many.

[–] manniesalado@piefed.social 38 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I feel so sorry for the Yanks having to live through this Trumpian nightmare.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 5 points 2 months ago

Thank you. Truly. So much schadenfreude going around.

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[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I heard he was teaming up with the hacker known as "4chan"

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Fun fact, in the Epstein files it shows Moot, founder of 4-Chan met with Epstein and made /pol the very next day, the politics forum that saw the revival of centralized neo-nazism and racism on the internet.

There is a lot of evidence pointing to the idea that Epstein and a multitude of other right-wing figures, along with various international groups, have deliberately been working to sabotage democracy since the 2000's and this entire societal decay in the US was planned. Even the seeding of Q-anon as misdirection.

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[–] arararagi@ani.social 2 points 2 months ago

I heard that hacker uses steroids!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Just like they identified Tylenol is the cause of autism…

[–] Tujio@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I mean, they gotta figure out some way to blame the mom before Baron gets diagnosed.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wrong, it's not a man. It's my Aunt Tifa. FFS

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

I can tell you for certain that dude won’t be experiencing “the male loneliness epidemic”

[–] Cocodapuf@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hear he hangs out with anonymous, from the Internet!

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

But who is 4chan, leader of Anonymous?

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Axiochus@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Focal@pawb.social 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I really read this as inspirational and cool once upon a time. Part of me still does. There's a lot of good we've done on social media that make my trans friends and family more safe in who they are, broadly speaking...

But there's also a whole lotta bad as well, and it's been increasingly less OUR internet as the tech companies just monopolize and censor and steal data.

I'm not so sure I can manage to find this time mag cover as inspirational anymore.

[–] _Nico198X_@europe.pub 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

it was a different time. aspirational and naive.

[–] Focal@pawb.social 6 points 2 months ago

Naive is probably the exact word for the feeling I have. Good pick

[–] hector@lemmy.today 4 points 2 months ago

I can assure we some of us were not optimistic.

[–] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I still put on my resume that I'm the 2006 Time Person of the Year

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

no offense dude, but him?

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 13 points 2 months ago

That guy owes me money! According to MAGA, the only reason any of us is resisting is because we're being paid. I've been fighting the Right for decades, and I've never seen a penny, he owes me a bunch.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 2 months ago

I want to subscribe to his newsletter.

[–] RadioEthiopiate@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 months ago

"Everyone who disagrees with me is a ~~Nazi~~ domestic terrorist."

[–] fodor@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, they got it wrong. It was me! I am the leader! Don't believe the feds, those lying pigs.

[–] how_we_burned@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 months ago

I'm Brian and so is my wife

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.myserv.one 7 points 2 months ago

Too bad they miss the current leader of Pedos our commander and cheeto.

[–] HaveAnotherTacoPDX@lemmy.today 3 points 2 months ago

Funny, he never gave me any orders. I used to take my orders from a chicken named Jack, but these days they come from the frogs. Because they are too strong when they're together, y'know.

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Jackie Joyner Antifa....Join Antifa for short.

[–] Aljernon@lemmy.today 2 points 2 months ago

Wow, what (not) a surprise. All those terrorism and surveillance laws passed after 9/11 were exactly as much a bad idea as people who didn't hate muslims were warning them to be.

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