this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2026
740 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

20664 readers
1601 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] fritobugger2017@lemmy.world 1 points 7 minutes ago (1 children)

Go to microsoft dot com. Click their chat help bot. Ask "What is microslop?" get told, sorry, I cannot help you with that and turns itself off.

[–] Ranulph@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 minutes ago

I just did that..and it said....''it would seem you are referring to Microsoft'' So all of your hard work was not in vain. It is now self aware

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 19 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

That's a bit weird. They didn't get this worked up about being called "Micro$oft" or something. This is probably hitting the nerve in a completely different way!

[–] Techlos@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 hours ago

They're proud capitalists, so it never bothered them. They aren't proud of their slopware though

[–] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 hours ago

Microsoft has over 200k employees, and the people (person?) managing the discord are probably at the bottom of the totem pole. I doubt they put more than 5 seconds of thought into this.

[–] Dentzy@sh.itjust.works 40 points 12 hours ago

I loved the:

Of course, the internet rarely leaves things there.

There are many things wrong about the current Internet, but the pettiness against any affront (real or perceived) won't ever die, and I think that's good.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

Am I the only one questioning why Microslop has a Discord server? Don't they have a chat product?

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 1 points 42 minutes ago

They do, but have you ever seen a party that everyone knows about but no one shows up to? That's Microsoft's non-paid chat service.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 38 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

"Hello I'm [generic person 2387362] and I'm the community manager for [generic corporation/tool/product 1892873]! I just started a few weeks ago and I'm so excited to announce that in the interest of [generic engagement and advertising], we'd started a discord server! We [positive transitive verb] our community, and want to bring them together so they can share some of the [productivity success stories] they've had or ask the community for support! Remember, while this is an official [generic corporation] channel, by joining this community you agree to [27 pages of legal terms about them owning your messages and data farming you]."

[–] Ranulph@thelemmy.club 1 points 1 minute ago* (last edited 1 minute ago)

You son of a bitch I'm in!! Where do I sign up?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 23 points 11 hours ago

Microslop should ask their own NoPilot about the Streisand Effect.

[–] ms_lane@lemmy.world 184 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

NoPilot

I like it, I like it.

[–] BryyM@lemmy.world 33 points 15 hours ago

Thank you for pointing out this clearly superior word, you expanded my vocabulary!

[–] shai_hulud@lemmy.world 19 points 11 hours ago

Microsoft is tired of Microslop? Weird, that.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 111 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Reminds me of the time when Disney allegedly* sent a memo to workers at Disney Land and Disney World telling them that, if they didn't stop complaining about the abysmal working conditions by calling both parks Mousewitz, they'd be fired.

Within the hour, workers started calling it Duchau in stead.

*read: probably

[–] lornosaj@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

I get the Mousewitz part but what’s the reference to Dachau about? Duchau read like Duckau as in Donald Duck?

[–] theolodis@feddit.org 1 points 20 minutes ago

Dachau was one if the first concentration camps in Germany.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 24 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 41 minutes ago

And if they keep it up, Macroslop

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 37 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 46 minutes ago) (2 children)

Idk Microsoft, maybe fix your AI so it doesn't recommend Microsoft products that are either ~~depreciated~~ deprecated or don't exist.

It's pretty embarrassing for you.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 46 minutes ago

Thank you for the correction!

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago

If it was the only bad thing about Microsoft, it would be pretty great though.

[–] mp3@lemmy.ca 22 points 12 hours ago

🎶 Barbra Streisand 🎶

[–] rogsson@piefed.social 66 points 15 hours ago

Why would Microslop do this? Aren’t they proud of the slop they are filling everything with? Or is this just a simple insecurity thing? Want us to call you Macroslop instead?

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 77 points 15 hours ago

Oh Microslop... throwing tantrums like a 5 year old brat

[–] Aberration13@lemmy.world 76 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 103 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 29 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (5 children)

Good old roflcopter.

Wait, this a picture? Seriously? Here's some ascii art ones: https://gist.github.com/MatthewRalston/3f529c819e4976c7e6572f5682c8959f

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] XLE@piefed.social 32 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Things must be rough for the AI fandom when a Discord made for CoPilot is unsustainably critical of CoPilot

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NavySqueal@lemmy.world 38 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Ah microslop kicking themselves for not buying discord

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

They would have run it into the ground with mismanagement and a new chat application would become the popular choice within a year, while Microslop's new acquisition fades into obscurity, eventually to be depreciated and shut down my Microslop themselves.

As has happened multiple times already in history.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 26 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I wanna join the server just to look at the absolute loser shit that must be going down in the "Aha AI Moments" channel

[–] RamRabbit@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Microsoft locked all the channels in that discord within the last few hours.

Before that, every channel was Microslop nonstop. Apparently even giving them feedback (in the feedback channel) about the product is no longer allowed. Microsoft cannot handle the fact they dish out slop.

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 40 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Microslop needs to ask Copilot about the Streisand Effect. As someone not chronically on social media, I hadn't heard about this term yet. Now, it's one of my favorites.

Funny enough, I've been experimenting with Copilot at work and it does have some genuine uses for looking up information quickly. Especially when trying to troubleshoot Microslop products. Between the disaster called "Windows 11", the cluster-fuck which is New Outlook and the complete shitshow which falls under the umbrella of "Defender", it's obvious that they have stopped investing in QA and testing. At least Copilot can help me find the right document to quickly tell me that I can't do something I used to be able to do in the old version of Outlook. Or, that Defender is incapable of doing things which even Symantec Antivirus had gotten right in the early 2000's.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago

I still use windows 10.

[–] BryyM@lemmy.world 29 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Please edit your post to add Nopilot instead of copilot, its the superior word

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago

I've said this before that if they made it optional and gave us the choice of using it as part of the operating system, then people might use it and might find reasons to like it. But shoving it down our throats is offensive and rapey. I'm not interested in being raped by microslop.

In fact, I am violently opposed to it. If one of the people that are shoving nopilot down our throats was in front of me, I would attack that person, at least verbally, but also possibly physically depending on their response.

[–] teslasdisciple@lemmy.ca 17 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

20 years ago (yes, I'm old) we called it Microshaft Winblows. Perhaps it's time to resurrect that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago (4 children)

Love how every social media site is becoming more and more like /r/Conservative.

[–] DrDickHandler@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago

They essentially ARE. You can also throw in all major broadcasting networks in that bucket as well. Everything is pro Israel and they are all trying to justify their genocide to their dumb fuck base.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›