Um actually, the drink is Dr. Pepper's Monster
this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Okay no joke I have a cat whose title is Professor and vets always assume she is a he. The weird thing is most of these vets are women. Systemic sexism is real and it's so fucking insidious
Jeez even cats have jobs now?
In this economy we all have to work for our kibble and litter
Is she tenure track?
Adjunct unfortunately. It's a tough market out there for cats and she's pretty much only an expert in snuggles. Hard to get funding for that
Where did she get the funding to get a Ph.D. in snuggles?
It's honorary from years of experience
See also: Doogie Howser? I hardly know 'er! 
A boy was rushed to the hospital after he and his dad was in a Pepsi accident. At the hospital, the surgeon was drinking Dr. Pepper, and exclaimed, "this is my son!" How was this possible?
The boy's mother and surgeon are the same. Her name is Dr. Pepsi Pepper and her son, who she was drinking, is also Dr. Pepper.
good material analysis comrade
Everything that comes in bottles is a girl because ships come in bottles and ships are girls.
There's a sex joke in here somewhere
That's why I only drink a male soda like MR. Pibb
If my soda doesn't have a DICK and BALLS then I ain't interested !
Why does Mr Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died
Dr Pepper is HOT 🥵
I assumed Dr. Pepper was a genderless sentient liquid assuming a humanoid shape, who ironically doesn't look or taste much like the drink at all.
idk where that puts me wrt feminism tbh
I assumed Dr. Pepper was a confederate military surgeon with a opioid habit
All sodas are women
Well duh. It ends in an "a" after all.