this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2026
179 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

20787 readers
1687 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 11 points 1 hour ago

Sober up, Pete. Catch a shower and maybe change the oil in your hair.

[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 3 points 28 minutes ago

Next up, Hegseth's mother makes a scene and calls the principal because some mean journalist did their job

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 67 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Another first amendment violation!

[–] radix@lemmy.world 45 points 2 hours ago

"It's been 0 days since this administration violated someone's rights."

The "0" is just written in ink. It has not changed, and never will.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 9 points 1 hour ago

They know, and they don't care and furthermore they ask you the people "what are you gonna do about it?"

This regime is just WAITING for citizens to step up. They are itching to initiate martial law and the insurrection act now more than ever.

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 27 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

The problem with taking good photos of Pete Hegseth is that, no matter what, it's still a photo of Pete Hegseth.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 17 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 hour ago

Is this big wet?

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 58 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

This is a lot more serious than the headline...

Photographs from the briefings are immediately released online for the public and press to use. If that hurts the business model for certain news outlets, then they should consider applying for a Pentagon press credential,” Wilson wrote.

Last year, the Pentagon implemented a new rule for media that required credentialed outlets to agree to a new policy that states reporters cannot gather or publish information from the Defense Department that is not explicitly authorized.

That includes declassified information or off-the-record conversations, no matter where the information was obtained.

Many mainstream media outlets refused to sign the agreement, finding the new rules oppressive. As a result, major broadcasters such as Fox News, ABC News, CBS News, CNN and NBC News; legacy newspapers such as the Associated Press, New York Times, Washington Post and Wall Street Journal; and other outlets lost their Pentagon press credentials.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 23 points 2 hours ago

And yet they'll keep shouting Free Speech unironically.

[–] Quacksalber@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 hour ago

The vanity fair photos are still the best worst photos of the current admin.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

You heard the secretary, plaster unflattering photos of him all around meatspace

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 1 points 18 minutes ago

Bring on the artists renditions!!

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago

When preteens run a nation with the most powerful military on the planet.

Thanks conservatives. You really do vote for people you identify with.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 1 points 28 minutes ago

Oh wonderful, that means we will never see photos of him again!

[–] hudhf@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 hours ago (2 children)
[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 hour ago

There is always a bigger cunt. They invented the male camel toe.

[–] CompostMaterial@lemmy.world 14 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

That is not a question you should ask with this administration, because the answer is always yes.

[–] huppakee@piefed.social 1 points 6 minutes ago

Cunts all the way down.

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 2 points 1 hour ago

This is referred to as Escher's Cunt.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 1 points 37 minutes ago

he's just mad they aren't taking photos of his white supremacist tattoos