That sucks, but how the fuck does Atlassian have 16,000 workers to begin with? What do they all do? And their products look like... Guestures at all of them
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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They are the ones in charge of making sure bitbucket stops working every other Thursday.
You've got an extra digit there
No he doesn't. The redundant 1,600 are only 10% of the workforce. 16,000 total.
You know what? That makes a lot of sense.
You could save a LOT of money by replacing the execs with AI.
You can save even more money by shutting down Atlassian and all its trash products
It better yet, replace them with nothing at all.
Ticketing systems are useful. It's not really all that practical to carry all that workflow and prioritization info as metadata on a version-control system. And some devs might think it's unnecessary, but that's because they're sheltered from all the higher-level planning, resourcing and portfolio management that they never need to think about.
I think the person you were responding to meant that the execs were not useful (see the parent comment), or at least not as useful to the overall enterprise as their salaries would have lead you to believe, in comparison to a standard developer.
Yes workflow systems are useful. Jira is a bad implementation to a good idea. It might help if they listened to feedback from people who actually used their software to improve it. Tbf they do make some good changes occasionally, like adding dark mode (which isn't perfect but also it isn't nothing).
Quite disappointed in him. Always thought he was a reasonable character but using e-mail is such a slap in the face.
Their products are utter garbage to begin with, this can only hasten their well-deserved demise.
JIRA and Bitbucket are so bad that even Microsoft Azure DevOps (that is a reskin of the decade old Visual Studio Online, which itself is a reskin on the two decade old Microsoft TFS) is somehow better than it. And everyone loves to hate on Microsoft products.
Are there any actually good enterprise grade Task tracker + Code repo combo that we should be suggesting the execs migrate to? Maybe the GitHub Enterprise product?
My org just rolled our own project management tool that matches our workflow now.
"Uh, we need you to clear out your desk ASAP."
"Sure, just submit a JIRA ticket and I'll get right on it."
It's even worse than that: it'll be a ServiceNow ticket.
AI will have a scrum with itself.
Oh yeah, agentic AI going all agile with lobster claws.
Somehow, HR processes are always exempt from the ticketing process.
Our HR critters use a case-management system, badly. They have an internal process, but never adapted the default workflows to match it. So the pendejitos are always trying to clean up self-inflicted gunshot wounds to their feet.
And yet oddly (and predictably, and likely disastrously, etc. -) some HR departments are among the very first to glibly upload their (our) everything's into constantly shifting unreliable AI "products". Not speaking hypothetically 😐
Funny stuff, that.
Because the people who work in HR spent their educational years avoiding anything technical.
Agreed, but we should include studying the precise wrong things, meaning conclusions drawn about how the world works - and with their own charming dedication, if describing how that time is spent.
Mustn't forget HR typically is quite competent, just not at things we easily identify (because that's an inherent component of their competence).
that's because they don't want you to know when you're getting fired.
I used to watch the category for decoms that had keywords in the subject line. someone from HR found out somehow (loose lips probably) and they stopped making tickets entirely.
it's a shame really. I had a really awesome script watching the same criteria for my name 🤣. nothing heinous, just some farewell messages and dirty laundry.
It's weird, I got laid off by a west coast tech giant and they gave me two months' notice, and they were happy to have me doing nothing that whole time (and I'd had nothing to do for about six months prior to that). I was remote so I guess they felt that I couldn't fuck shit up on the way out.
sounds like a nice place with good lawyers.
I don't think AI needs collaboration and project management software. Good luck with that future.
Oh boy, guess we can look forward to more vibe-coded slop which will make it an even bigger pain to use.
"AI is too dumb to take our jobs" as if that matters. that's not even the point, the point of Generative AI is to mine data and devalue human labour. according to the like 120 people who run this world too many people are making too much money so now we have a dogshit "technology" made to cut your wages whenever it's convenient.
Atlassian is getting thrashed in the stockmarket and they're using AI as a get out of jail free card to conduct massive layoffs.
Its too bad that in the end they are just making forgettable tools that jira aside already have extensive competition, that actually feel built for enterprise vs the garbage atlassian is making.
If it wasn't for the army of agile cultists who claim that work is impossible without Jira they'd probably already be a much smaller company.
Yet everyone helps feed this AI beast. No one thinks... Maybe I'm helping this through my data.
this post helps to feed the AI beast
there’s no escaping it; let’s not do with AI what we’ve done with CO2 and plastic and shift blame to individuals
I’m amazed they had 1600 employees to begin with. I guess it takes a lot of resources to make something suck as hard as JIRA
3 coders and 1597 managers.
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There is a Jira ticket (ID-240) for Atlassian requesting the ability to merge Atlassian accounts that is over 10 years old. I'm one of the 1,450 watchers. This news does not bode well for this ticket ever getting implemented.
Hodgepodge.
AI will vibecode that into production in a week. And to make it all easier..it'll have merged your account with 10 competitors too so you know what they're working on!
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