this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] KraeuterRoy@feddit.org 1 points 35 minutes ago

Good for you, Lizzie...good for you.

[–] Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social 6 points 1 hour ago

Is she the rusty gate girl from Red Dwarf?

[–] voidsignal@lemmy.world 15 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Who's that ugly plastic bag?

Oh no, wait. I don't give a fuck.

[–] KneeTitts@lemmy.world 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

English socialite, TV personality and former wife of footballer Jason Cundy

so basically nobody, but one time married somebody... apparenty

[–] voidsignal@lemmy.world 1 points 12 minutes ago

I don't know who the fuck is jason cundy either. And I told you, I don't give a fuck. Stop shoving useless knowledge to my brain :)

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 11 points 3 hours ago

Good lord, she is the epitome of mutton dressed as lamb.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 13 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

I would have gone with Fuzzy Cunty personally

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 11 points 4 hours ago

I don't know her so now this is the only thing I know about her. Yay? And I'm glad she doesn't make her sons take her nude pictures anymore?

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Squeaks? Sure sure, you're not covering for flatulence or anything. Or queefulence.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

all dried up and dusty

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago
[–] 0ndead@infosec.pub 3 points 3 hours ago