SARGE

joined 1 year ago
[–] SARGE@startrek.website 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I my experience, the oldest child is forced to mature faster by being required to perform childcare duties, especially in families with many children.

Younger siblings basically "get to be a kid" longer than older ones.

This is unfair to both older and younger siblings for a myriad of reasons, but both are a failure of parenting, and society as a whole. The parents should not be forcing the dynamic, and society should not be putting parents in a position where they feel they have to.

As for "feeling immature" as an adult... That is entirely dependent on what you measure maturity by. My wife and I sing nonsense tunes at each other, sometimes just look up and go "QUACK!" for no reason. We have gone to a playground to go swinging. We have gone outside to play in the snow.

I didn't get my first job without my mother's help until 20. I didn't get my license until 26. I didn't get my first full time job until 33. I absolutely hate going to a store at all, let alone by myself. Although if I'm being honest I would rather go by myself since it's faster and less chance of my wife grabbing 10 extra things because we passed the aisle and she went something snack-y.

Remember, "Autism Spectrum Disorder" is, as the name implies, a spectrum. As such everyone is on it. Most people are gathered in a general area area (the people who would be considered "normal" by someone who has a more traditional old way of thinking) I personally believe I'm a little further toward the "autism" side, based on a bunch of comparing my personal experience with others who are diagnosed. I don't believe it's that big a deal for me, as I am fully capable of functioning on my own as an adult.

A bit of armchair psychology, I'd wager you're a bit like my wife and due to narcissistic and withholding parents you likely need more reassurance than the average person. This isn't a failure on your part at all, and it's not a "developmental disability" it's just a bit of childhood trauma.

To answer more directly:

In my opinion, yes eldest siblings often mature faster. Feeling immature is probably normal, and maturity is a pretty vague notion in general. ASD in general isn't as big a deal as many people think. If you'll forgive me for saying so, your family kind of sucks.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

"but whatabout..."

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 5 points 1 day ago

Sorry for being unable to answer the woman side of the question. 30s, "male" but honestly could also qualify as "closeted genderfluid" or "agender" maybe, I don't know.

Never really felt "masculine" in the stereotypically toxic way older generations and conservatives are obsessed with, and if I'm being honest I've always wanted breasts and to look more feminine but have no desire to have any sort of "bottom surgery"

My wife has encouraged me to grow my hair out, but honestly I'm not sure what to do with it. I just put it in a ponytail, sometimes for multiple days in a row. But I want to do more stuff with it. Executive dysfunction goes great with a lot of things....

Although I would like to appear more feminine, I hate makeup. I have done musical theater since middle school and absolutely hate the feeling of stage makeup. I understand there are different types of makeup and I'm sure proper application would feel less like a layer of clay and more like a light dusting.

Some days I want to go out wearing women's clothes, but never have. Some days I feel like wearing work jeans and a ratty t-shirt full of holes but it's comfy. Some days I feel like a gelatinous blob only constrained by sweat pants.

Fuck labels, do you.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 7 points 1 day ago

Lmao my mom used to say real men don't cry.

One day as a teen I was angry and tearing up and she said that, so I just screamed at her "I'VE SEEN DAD AND GRANDPA BOTH CRY SO SHUT THE FUCK UP" And honestly I think she realized she was wrong at least about that, because she has never said it since even to my sister's kids, and I didn't even get in trouble for swearing at her.

Cry away, fellow human. Disregard those who cannot allow themselves to feel emotions for fear of seeming "less than".

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 6 points 1 day ago

I'd say it's not weird to wonder, but it is a little unhealthy if that's what you assume is the truth every time.

That said, how often does internet go out for you?

I live on the same grid as a hospital so my power almost never goes out, and live close enough to several cell towers my phone can use that cell service isn't a problem.

So if my internet goes out, I assume my provider is having technical problems.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well here in the US we've been speedrunning Germany in the 1930s, so it tracks that the places we fuck up and try to control would also be speedrunning their own thing.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 6 points 6 days ago

The only good fascism is MY fascism!

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've only interacted with two dementia/alzheimer's patients, so I'll admit I don't know much about the conditions.

While yes, they could get belligerent and uncooperative, but largely would agree with pretty much whatever you were saying, as long as you weren't using a mean tone. Basically they were thought sponges that had no problem agreeing with whatever you said, and even repeating it for a short time before losing it.

Trump is clearly a thought sponge for whoever he last spoke to that wasn't immediately adversarial to him.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 17 points 1 week ago

I think most genuinely don't understand what it's like living in a country the size of a continent, with hundreds of millions of people scattered all over, with a heavily militarized police force that has been trained to see anyone but themselves as a threat, surrounded by a significant portion of the population that would love the opportunity to murder you without legal consequences and the tools to do so, with your healthcare, shelter, food, and basically everything tied to your employment that could end on a whim, in a system designed to keep you perpetually exhausted so you can't even begin to imagine a world where you are fairly treated, let alone have the energy to fight for it in any meaningful way.

I mean most Europeans live in countries the size of a single state, with relatively high population densities (comparatively speaking). "Americans think 100 years is a long time, Europeans think 100km is a long distance" and all that. I've traveled daily for work what some of my UK friends won't travel to see family on holidays. The US is insanelt large, and any sort of organization is already an uphill battle from that alone. Get into the fact that most people can't take a day off work without risking their livelihoods, and that opposition is armed and begging to be let loose, and protesting alone is hard to do.

Historically, any left-leaning organization that arms themselves gets heavily targeted by the Alphabet Squad (FBI, NSA, BATFE, etc) and individuals get harassed and tossed into prisons for the smallest infractions simply due to association with the leftist group.

Anyone who doesn't look at the history of government opposition in the US when they demand action, all while saying we aren't doing enough because protesting isn't enough, is (hopefully ignorantly) telling you to go kill yourself.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 10 points 1 week ago

English IS my first language and it still tripped me up. It's an easy thing to swap, especially without much context.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 56 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I read it as "to break off" not "to temporarily interrupt"

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 1 points 2 weeks ago

Tldr: Long winded way of saying "is he wrong to assume that?"

American here, I can assure you that the majority of the people around me have absolutely no idea about anything involving the UK government.

In the last month I have overheard two separate conversations in different states, asking if the UK has a "president", and at least one got the answer "no, they have a queen".

I'm not even sure most Americans are aware the queen died. I'm not sure how they could possibly have missed it, but our country is collectively under a rock, so...

I have heard many people over the years trying to argue US law for things happening in the UK.

I have had to inform a great many people that the UK includes Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. Most people have been surprised to find out Ireland isn't united as a single country.

Americans in general are not smart. Even less informed about anything that happens outside the US than I assume most people in the EU know about the US state Ohio.

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