this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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"This war has nothing to do with NATO. It's not NATO’s war," Stefan Kornelius, a spokesperson for German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, told reporters in Berlin on Monday. "NATO is a defensive alliance, an alliance for the defense of its territory," he added.

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[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 294 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I would also like to remind you that the U.S. and Israel did not consult us before the war, and that Washington explicitly stated at the start of the war that European assistance was neither necessary nor desired," Kornelius said.

[–] track_stick_baboon@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

That paragraph alone, I must frame it.

[–] Bullerfar@lemmy.world 168 points 1 month ago (17 children)

Good answer. Fuck Benjamin and Donald Ducks war. They don't even know why they did it. NATO is not for undocumented wars.

[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 70 points 1 month ago (13 children)

In fairness, they know exactly why they did it:

For The Idiot: Israel needs our help to stop the 40-something-year-old "imminent" threat of an Iranian nuclear bomb (that was supposedly already stopped earlier last year when we "thoroughly destroyed" thir enrichment labs."

For Bibi, it's an opportunity to realize Israel's version of manifest destiny, and to kill people he doesn't like. Remember how everyone was all, "Boy I hope W doesn't go nuclear on the middle east" after 9/11? 10/7 has had the same effect on Bibi, except he was predisposed for the merciless violence. He's never seen these adversaries as "people." W rarely thought about them at all.

[–] OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 month ago

It's about two fascist leaders making desperate plays to stay in power. That's it.

[–] Ninjasftw@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Also isn't there pending corruption charges against him that are constantly put on hold because they are at war?

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[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 81 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"but...but..usually when I fuck things up someone sorts it out for me. Why won't you fix my massive fuck up?"

[–] IratePirate@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago

You're almost ~~eight~~ eighty. Soon you'll be ~~one of the big boys~~ dead.

[–] remon@ani.social 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

But not out of principle ... our ships just don't go that far without breaking down!

[–] comrade_twisty@feddit.org 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Isn't the pride of the German Navy a sailboat called the Gorch Fock?

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 15 points 1 month ago

hey gorch fock yourself

jk

[–] GameOverFlow@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago

It's a beautiful ship. But germany hast quite a few real good ships and submarines. Of course no where the quantity of USA. 

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Dunno but the German word for team is mannschaft, and there was a German cycling team using Giant bikes, so the were the Giant Mannschaft.

Giggity.

[–] thefluffiest@feddit.nl 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

And for 80 years, we were quite happy with that!

— love, your neighbors

[–] RandAlThor@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

lol is that true? are you german?

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It is a bit of a meme in germany that our military equipment suffers from a lack of maintenance. Also there were a bunch of cases of new weapons systems just failing catastrophically or having huge security issues.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My country is a bit towards the south and nobody really knows how our ships still manage to float.

We have ships where the entire navigation suite has been replaced with a commercial GPS.

The guns are fired... Every now and then. Sparingly. We still have ammunition from the 70's in stock. Some times we even manage to misplace equipment.

Yet somehow we're considered as the reliable ally, although a bit... wierd.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We have ships where the entire navigation suite has been replaced with a commercial GPS.

Honestly, that'll do just fine in 90% of cases.

Only issues are:

  • What do you do if some country has maliciously turned off or disabled the GPS satellites?

  • The commercial GPS unit probably isn't very EMP-resistant, so it might quickly be disabled if EMPs start going off all over the place ... as would happen in a nuclear war.

But as long as you're not fighting anybody capable of turning the entire GPS system off and the war hasn't gone nuclear, it should probably be fine.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Sincerely? I'd expect to see astrolabes or sextants being pulled from storage.

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[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While true, Germany also has quite strict rules on rating equipment to not be ready. A broken heating or turning indicator on an IFV means it counts as non operational.

For ships there’s a rule of thumb. One is operational and on a mission, one is being refueled and restocked, one is being refit, maintained, or upgraded. So you need three units to always have one available. Germany has six submarines, meaning two are always available for active operations.

For planes you have to do hours of maintenance for every minute in the air.

The Bundeswehr used to lack funds and personnel, now it lacks mostly qualified personnel.

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[–] _edge@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 month ago

"Bedingt abwehrfähig" is the bureacratic term the government uses to explain that the German military, in particular the equipment, is broken beyond any hope of repair.

[–] Zer0_F0x@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Germany sold some submarines to Greece that were leaning over on one side out the factory

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

BMW makes submarines?

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

So Canada is buying the Korean ones then?

It feels a lot like Trump shits and then asks us to wipe his ass clean.

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For now, I'd dare a bet on Merz getting back to sucking corpo cock

[–] GameOverFlow@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

He worked for BlackCock i think. 

[–] J92@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Please, sleep alone in the bed you shat in.

[–] MrMakabar@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why do you have to kick Netanyahu out of his bed?

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[–] Fluke@feddit.uk 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The response from everyone else should be, "Why would we join a war that's already been won?"

Give him his own bloviating bullshit back, served up nice and cold.

[–] ptu@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think Boris Pistorius was on point:

"What does Trump expect from a handful of European frigates that the powerful US navy cannot do?"

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Once their ships show up, the Navy can dip and leave the mess to someone else. He can just move on to the next country on his list

[–] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In the words of Knorkator

Geh aus dem Weg, du Arschgesicht

Eh mann, du stinkst nach Klo

Gib lieber auf, das schaffst du nicht

Und nun zurück in den Zoo

[–] sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Knorkator... That's a name I haven't heard for a loooong time and today I learned that they are back from their creative break... Since 2010 🤣

[–] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They have a double day gig at Columbiahalle in Berlin, and tickets are hot.

Aber... Zum Glück bin ich ein alter Mann, das geht mich alles nichts mehr an!

[–] Decq@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Are we going have that brain-dead 'freedom' fries bullshit again? Is this really going to be a repeat of 2003 Iraq? Seeing the limitless supply of brain rot in the US, probably we will.

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 1 month ago

I like how Trump's response to this is a petulant "well we don't need you anyway, so there!"

Europe needs to seriously up it's arms manufacturing though.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago

"Get Ze fucked"

[–] TwilitSky@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Berlin said NEIN!

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