this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2026
475 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

21196 readers
1543 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/45445434

Fox News Senior Medical Analyst Marc Siegel made some eyebrow-raising comments lamenting that birth rates are down among teenagers aged 15 to 19.

On Thursday, the National Center for Health Statistics reported that the U.S. fertility rate fell to another record low. The agency reported that the number of births per 1,000 women of childbearing age declined from 53.8 in 2024 to 53.1 last year. The latest figure represents a continuation of a decades-long decline in fertility rates.

Siegel joined Friday’s edition of America’s Newsroom, where Dana Perino said that while the continuing trend is not surprising, “the numbers might feel a little shocking.”

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

The big concern is probably a decline in number of wage slaves. Children of teenage single moms are probably the best demographic for enslavement.

Next they will be decrying the decline in crime because it will harm the prison industrial complex. "We need more cops to arrest more people to keep us safe (from underpopulated prisons)."

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Researchers like Timothy Leary felt psychedelics could alter the fundamental personality structure or subjective value-system of an individual to great potential benefit. Beginning in 1961, he conducted experiments with prison inmates in an attempt to reduce recidivism with short, intense psychotherapy sessions. Participants were administered psilocybin during these sessions weeks apart with regular group therapy sessions in between.[24] Psychedelic therapy was also applied in a number of other specific patient populations including individuals with alcoholism, children with autism, and persons with terminal illness.[24]

Studies on medicinal applications of psychedelics ceased entirely in the United States when the Controlled Substances Act was passed in 1970. LSD and many other psychedelics were placed into the most restrictive "Schedule I" category by the United States Drug Enforcement Administration. Schedule I compounds are claimed to possess "a high potential for abuse and the potential to create severe psychological and/or physical dependence" and have "no currently accepted medical use",[28] effectively rendering them illegal to use in the United States for all purposes. Despite objections from the scientific community, authorized research into therapeutic applications of psychedelic drugs had been discontinued worldwide by the 1980s.

Can't have prisoners being reformed when they can be rented out as ditch-diggers for less than minimum wage. Just don't call it slavery.

[–] forkDestroyer@infosec.pub 4 points 10 hours ago

When I was born, the human population was around half of what it is now. If there ever was a time to organically decrease our population size, imo, it would be now.

[–] garbage_world@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

I mean, they're right.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 11 points 22 hours ago

Brace yourselves for the pedophile parasite class campaign to justify their crimes

[–] dipcart@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Aren't these the people who freaked out about teenage pregnancies?

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 7 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

They're Republicans. Of course they are concerned about teen pregnancies.

Who do you think is making them pragernet?

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

They were angry about “single mothers” for decades, but that was a racist dog whistle.

If you’re all white, it’s all right.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

This entire administration is just pedos and perverts, isn't it?

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Always was.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

Not all of them. Here's the exhaustive list of those who aren't

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

Abstinence education is working! How are they not happy at their success?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In a normal country, a doctor endorsing teen pregnancy would get their licence suspended.

[–] BenjiRenji@feddit.org 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

This just reminds me of a US coworker of mine who just became a great grandmother. It's teen pregrancies all the way down. Mother at 16, grandmother in her 30s, great grandmother at 50.

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] BenjiRenji@feddit.org 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

She’s either super cool or super annoying. Former teen moms don’t really have an in-between. since she's in tech i'm assuming super cool.

[–] StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] BenjiRenji@feddit.org 2 points 20 hours ago
[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How many times do conservatives have to prove that they're all pedophiles before the rest of us will learn?

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

not a matter of "learning", it's a matter of "caring"

everyone knows by now this regime is full of pedophiles… but nobody gives enough of a fuck to do anything about it

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

I'm not talking about the regime. I mean every last one of them.

[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

15-19 yr olds aren’t supposed to be having kids.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Hell some of them ARE kids

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

From my perspective, everyone under about 24 is still a kid.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

In a regular society? Yes. But this is America we're talking about.

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Fucking lemongrab grade screeching of purity and abstinence for decades and then suddenly this

[–] mika_mika@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Now, now, let's not pretend these people are encouraging sex, those young whores are still to be shamed.

They're just supposed to have kids and be loyal to husbando. No pleasure involved.

(Also, they always supported teen pregnancy because they have always been anti-sex education and anti-contraceptive which allows the process of teenage parents to happen without them having to condone it).

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

Our masters want us to breed.

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 points 1 day ago

Every accusation a confession.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 114 points 2 days ago (9 children)

They're saying the quiet part out loud and why they're anti-abortion. The younger the better for a quick turnaround:

They need the poors to fight their wars and work on their factory floors.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 50 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I remember when teen pregnancy was considered bad and a sign of a decaying morality across the country. Now the same right wing moralizers are saying they need those teen moms again. But this time it's about money so they are noticeably quiet about morality.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

just what the world needs, more americans

[–] crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 81 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I distinctly remember a time when boomers and talking heads would automatically respond to concerns about issues with the cost of having kids with:

"Don't have kids if you can't afford them."

"If you couldn't afford kids then you should've kept your legs closed."

"Don't expect a handout, nobody forced you to have kids."

"Healthcare and child care are too expensive? Tough shit snowflake, that's the free market! Work harder!"

"Why are my taxes paying for a public school when I don't even have any kids that go there?"

So nope, no sympathies. And no, you can't have your child sex brides, either.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LilRed@lemmy.org 69 points 2 days ago (24 children)

Who the fuck wants to be having kids in this day and age anyway. Also why is it up to the underage teens to push out babies to keep the population up. Yeah let's put pressure on them to ruin their entire lives before they even get to live it. Love the American standards.

load more comments (24 replies)
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

humans. can't. breed. in. captivity.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe if you just imprison fertile women and give them to rich couples to fuck and impregnate, that will solve the problem? You could call them handmaid's to distract from what they really are!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›