this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2026
252 points (98.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

39464 readers
2530 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] dgdft@lemmy.world 1 points 48 minutes ago

Not that I disagree with the post… but the general public out here wilding about vaccines and tylenol and fluoride and shit yet missing this extra-stupid medical “conspiracy” will never not be funny to me.

The FDA doesn’t like greenlighting drugs of dubious direct clinical benefit with high abuse potential, so for the sake of expediency, Pfizer decided to push the narrative that Viagra definitely wasn’t fun unless you had peepee problems. No one wants to look like they have peepee problems, so not enough people who’ve tried it are willing to call a spade a spade and say it’s fun af regardless of age or necessity.

Thus the narrative persists.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 hour ago

Bro your dick supposed to get drained, not do the draining.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago

Op im just glad you didn’t say this to the guy in picture

[–] BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world 11 points 6 hours ago

This reminds me of that Russian woman who subdued and bound a burgular to a chair, after which she fed him only dick pills and kept him as a sex toy for a week.

I should risk breaking into Russian homes, I think

[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 20 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Enjoy the peace of impotency? Surely he doesn't think his penis actually has a brain right? Its your brain that makes you horny, and it will still make you horny even if the equipment don't work anymore.

If you're that horny-brained that its causing you stress, your best option (aside from therapy, cause that's expensive) is to get offline and find a hobby to distract your mind with.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 13 points 7 hours ago

Yes exactly! That's why I go offline to go bird watching as a hobby! Occasionally, as a treat, I'll peep in on naked adults with their curtains open.

[–] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

If you’re that horny-brained that its causing you stress

That's every 19 year old ever lmao, and yes im extremely grateful i dont get like that anymore lol

[–] Tiral@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Well that's different. You're in like overdrive. Plus if you're 13 and need Viagra there's an issue probably.

Well yeah and now that im not the last thing i would ever do is take a pill to force an erection lol

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 36 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I'm 60. They are useful for recreational purposes. Going one round is not a problem, but the second round? I used to measure refractory periods in minutes, then hours. Now I could use a calendar.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 10 points 7 hours ago

I'm 40. Lmao. 3 to 5 business days. not really, but it sure feels like that compared to my younger self.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

You know there's no way your mom doesn't already own a Sybian right? Condom makes cleanup easier. Seriously, try one while you can stay wet for hours.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Ew using one's parents' sex toys

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 4 points 6 hours ago

Read OP's other posts. If this is actually a swiss girl born in 08 they've 100% had access to a vibrator for a while. And even for rich kids a $2000 toy isn't something you can just order to the house.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 8 points 8 hours ago

This sounds good in theory but in my experience recreation quickly becomes obligation.

Protip: women can take it too!

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 13 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I didn't know there was a pill that turns your dick into Benjamin Netanyahu

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 13 points 8 hours ago

When I'm on Netanyahu pills I can only get off by shooting my load towards Palestine.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 50 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

I'm blinded with rage by the comma he ended his post with,

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Straight to hell,

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 14 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

That feels like a valid poetic choice to me, but that “who’s” is getting to me,

Though tbf, referring to your penis as thirst itself is also pretty poetic

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Give the got a break, not all the blood is going to his brain

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 8 hours ago

Thirsty Penis Syndrome, bigly. Everybody says so.

[–] abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 21 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

This reads like something written by Marcus Aurelius.

[–] abrake@lemmy.world 29 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

Plato, Republic, Book I, Cephalus' speech:

How well I remember the aged poet Sophocles, when in answer to the question, How does love suit with age, Sophocles⁠—are you still the man you were? Peace, he replied; most gladly have I escaped the thing of which you speak; I feel as if I had escaped from a mad and furious master. His words have often occurred to my mind since, and they seem as good to me now as at the time when he uttered them. For certainly old age has a great sense of calm and freedom; when the passions relax their hold, then, as Sophocles says, we are freed from the grasp not of one mad master only, but of many.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 9 points 8 hours ago

Goddamit Sophocles

[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 10 hours ago

There's just no fucking way, holy crap!!!

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 31 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

it's because I won. If I do desire to, I'll awaken the tyrant and beat him up for my pleasure.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 7 points 11 hours ago

Yeah plus extreme depression and negative self image gave me the peace that is being referred to more than impotency ever did

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 23 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club 24 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

To be 18 and not realize how fuckin raw that shit gets for everyone after about 45 minutes unless you reapply religiously like a goth at the beach 😂

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Right?! Especially as a stoner lmao. My partner and I buy the big bottles of lube now, we ain't fuckin around. We are fucking around, though.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Oh gods my ex would get such cotton crotch from weed my mouth would dry up going down on her

But yeah for insertion so long as you aren't using any silicone toys silicon lube is a fucking miracle substance

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, X-Lube?

The stuff is amazing, a bottle makes a ton, and as long as you use distilled water, a batch will keep for a long time.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 hours ago

Ooo I have not heard of this, thank you!

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

EDIT: replied in to the wrong comment.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 11 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

I've taken the pills recreationally. Highly recommended when you expect your session to go for many hours, but you (the man) still have to be turned on. In other words, I a healthy male, did not get involuntarily erect by the pills.

EDIT: I hit puberty at 10yo. From 10 to about 19, my dick had a mind of its own. But since about that age, we have come to an agreement. Get hard and stay hard for as long as I ask, and I promise you'll never go hungry. The rest of the time, leave me the hell alone.

PS: It was miserable ~12.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 7 hours ago

My dick has never been the sticking point for me going many hours. Either the rest of my body ran out of gas or the girl I was with needed a break.

[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 12 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

To the tweet; Well, nothing isn't stopping you already.

It's not actually the penis itself that's doing the guiding. That thing is a separate function that can align up with the brain circuitry guiding it. It's the brain circuitry behind it that's making you do all those things. The penis not functioning doesn't remove the drive and that's why there are boner pills.

To OP: Though, sry to disappoint you and break the common misconception. Even with boner pills, guy needs to be turned on to get a boner. Boner pills wont give permanent boners out of thin air, those just make it easier to have a boner and maintain one.

Interesting tip, boner pills work systematically and give really nice gym pumps.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

really nice gym pumps

Oh baby

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I was a member of a private, country club, gym some years ago. It had really nice showers and an excellent steam room. So many blow jobs and hand jobs in the mornings there.

I have to admit that it was a nice setup. Get up early, hit the gym, get a little release, shave, clean up, and get breakfast with a good and complimentary coffee before leaving, all before work.

I always wondered what sort of shenanigans "the country club house wives" got up to in there all day.

[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Nothing, we don’t fuck each other. Mostly you mind your own business and don’t really have the time to waste.

load more comments
view more: next ›