Ask Lemmy

Yes.

Most of my tools could - just a matter of how many swings it would take. Running them over with my work truck would probably be the quickest and chainsaw the messiest.

If there's one thing I've learned from horror movies it's that unless you have some weird satanic ritual, nothing can stop the bad guy.

But also, I'm a janitor at McDonald's; I could probably slow them down with soapy water or even just leaving the floor oily. I doubt they wear non-slip shoes. Pull some Scooby Doo shit, slick up the floor, Jason comes after me and slides into the freezer, which I then lock.

Graphic Designer so maybe if it was a lawnmower man situation

I'm an auto mechanic, honestly like 80% of the things I touch every day could kill most things if applied properly.

Thinking about reach and convenience from my toolbox, I'm thinking the 5' steel prybar (effectively a 10 lb baseball bat with a sharp tip) or the cv axle I took out earlier. Honorable mention to one of a variety of possible chemical attacks or just straight up dropping a car on it.

Really big laser - meant for cutting through thick steel, could probably slice most monsters Bond-villain style.

Client feedback.

I work at a tool store and often fantasize about a zombie apocalypse or something starting while I'm at work. Should fit this situation, so let's go! If it happens in... Aisle 1: dual wielding a drill and heatgun Aisle 2: dual wielding circular saw and angle grinder Aisle 3: put on safety goggles, strangle them with AirTool hoses Aisle 4: dual wielding air nailers! Aisle 5: giant wrench Aisle 6: screwdriver to the face Aisle 7: steel automotive jack handles Aisle 8: wench snare traps everywhere Aisle 9: pickaxe Aisle 10: generator fumes Aisle 11: tumbling tower of tires Back wall: hammers!

The autopsy saw. It's a gleaming monstrosity of stainless steel designed to part human flesh like Moses parted the red sea. You can stack zombies as deep as you want, the saw won't even slow down. The only thing that will stop it is the length of the mechanical arm it hangs from, because it's unfortunately too heavy for most people to lift.

The cardboard crusher probably, just have to tip them over the edge. Puts them nicely in 1.5x1.5x1m cubes

Recently retired from a place that makes rocket engines, and there's just so much. Start with a rocket engine itself - the combustion gasses are like 3300 C (6000 F) with more than 400,000 lb of thrust. But there's a lot associated. We dealt with lots of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. We have a giant braze oven that we can put a whole rocket nozzle into. It's quite an arsenal.

Probably all the knives and the room full of people who spend 8 hours a day cutting things to bits with them. After a while, you get pretty good at finding where to cut through joints, so it doesn't take all that long.

I work from home...

Best I got is an old fashioned paper cutter that looked way too heavy duty.

Cue the scene from The Faculty where the bad boy twists off the blade of that thing.

TPS report cover sheet.

I work with IT but in a meat processing plant, the giant saw that cuts pigs in half would certainly do it. Even though all of the slaughtering and butchering have been dismantled many years ago due to cutbacks, it would be a very good location for a horror movie or an augmented reality experience or something like that, it's almost like everyone just up and left.

The elevators that always breakdown. They were doing a repair today and knocked out power to the whole building.

Carpal tunnel slasher can't hold a knife

I'm unemployed rn so uh, some dab wax?

I work in a restaurant, so... garlic?

100' fall into the middle of an arena.

I work as a concert high rigger.

A server rack full of servers, dropped on the monster like a cartoon piano.

From what I've seen, airplane crashes can be pretty fatal!

Suffering through eight straight hours of „business alignment workshops“.

Crushing depression.

Although that’s not really for my job since I don’t have one.

The printing press. The monster's blood would be spread out over 70000 newspapers.

Well, I work with IT, Ships, and industrial robotics, so I'm thinking that the villain gets maimed by a robot controlled by a perl script to the point where he is unable to prevent his ship from sinking.

EDIT: Oh, and don't gets me started on the seismic source: 4000 cubic inches of compressed air at 2000psi. Seismic sources are scary. In water ut will turn anyone in yhe water into jell-o. I've coordinated these with simultaneous diving ops, and the divers usually call us to stop if they're within 3-4 kilometers.