Ask Lemmy

I came home to an empty house and my wife and kid missing. It would be dumb to say there were no signs of divorce but up until the last few hours she was telling me how much she loved me, hugs and kisses. We even did that cringy shit where I’d say “happy wife?” and she always said “yes”.

Apparently she got extremely depressed around the same time her family doctor put her on Adderall. She would spend the next two years slipping away, hiding from our son when I was at work and just cried herself to sleep.

I had no idea. I have all the means to afford the help she needed but on that fateful day, I felt like I was hit by a fucking truck.

My ex was like this. I’m actually pretty sure it was pathological, like I mean she’d just lie so automatically and effortlessly. And you’d think that someone who lied like that would be good at it? Lol nope. She was easily the shittiest and most transparent liar ever. Half the time I’d just let it go because calling her out on it in real time never accomplished anything.

And she’s still at it. She got herself a new gf and she’s already spinning up the lie generator and she’s gonna fuck this one up too and she’s genuinely, sincerely going to wonder why her relationships always fall apart. I’m giving it until the end of the year.

Lots of people have lied, but one situation stood out.

Years and years ago I trained in MMA with two guys who were brothers from Europe and we competrd in martial arts tournaments around the country. This was before MMA really took off, so think lots of gyms with competition mats hosted by regional kyukushin and other styles of karate dojos. We grew pretty close, training, competing, traveling.

One day get a call from one of them from jail. With no accent like they had always had. They had abducted a 17 year old highschool kid and murdered him execution style in the middle of nowhere after being paid by a drug dealer the kid owed weed money to. And they had priors for abuse against minors.

Never had a perception of a person do such a complete 180 so fast. Literally makes your head spin. Never really trusted strangers until I did independent verification of their backgrounds after that. They completely lived a lie to a whole crowd of us while training and competing. Just crazy to think about.

Tl;dr One building manager lied through his teeth to what we assume was to everyone about everything even on affidavits. Cost him his job, the company he worked for the building contract, several thousand dollars in federal court fees for the building owners, plus whatever their lawyers were charging.

Long story time

Working for an internet provider we had to inspect a building, we send a letter saying we are inspecting, here are the federal law references.

Lie 1: the building manager said they never received the letter despite his signature being on the proof of delivery.

We resend the letter but also send it to the buildings lawyers. We get a letter back from the lawyers saying no worries, go ahead they have told the building manager to expect us. We go back to the building.

Lie 1; round 2: They never received the second letter despite his signature being on the proof of delivery again.
Lie 2: Those lawyers were not the buildings lawyers so he won't be letting us do the inspection.

We take the building to federal court for not following the law and the buildings lawyers present an affidavit from the building manager.

Lie 3: His affidavit said we never showed up on either date. even said he got the message from the lawyers saying to allow us.

Lawyer things happened and the federal judge sides with us, we proved we did what we needed and issues an order for us to do our work. We send the inspection notice for the third time with the judge's decision. Building lawyers reply with the OK. We get to the building.....

Lie 1; round 3: building manager said no letter was received. Lie 4: the judges order is invalid because the order came from a Brisbane court not a Canberra court. (Like the location of the federal court matters)

Back to the courts we go. Affidavit from the building manager. No shock.

Lie 3; round 2: yes he received the instruction from the lawyers to allow us but we never shows up.

Everyone is annoyed. Someone recommends at some point for their lawyer to come with us to an inspection. New date planed, letters sent all around. We get to the building and show the buildings lawyers the building log saying we were there on all previous dates.
We get to the building manager and again.

Lie 1; round 4: no letter received, not the buildings lawyers.
Lie 4; round 2: invalid judge order.
Special twist. Lie 3; Uno reverse: says not sure why we come to the building so much and who the fresh face was.

Understandably the building lawyer is unhappy. Dude lost his job, building management company lost the contract, and building owners are on the hook for the court costs.

Well let me count how many landlords I have rented from; I'm 100% certain they all lied about spending the entirety of the deposit on cleaning.

And every guy I've ever dated. And a few sellers of second hand vehicles.

She was trying to hide her drug use from me

There's a reason why people make jokes about stoners.

It's because they're stupid.

She really thought I wouldn't notice her stinking, and being high as fuck

It ended soon after

I've worked with contractors, so yes.

The best I've done with dealing with it is to speak in a "if this were to happen, this is how you're fucked" manner so I can have a conversation about the wreckage of their decision without getting them to admit that they did the thing.