Technology

The average person trusts Google, Facebook, Microsoft, OpenAI, Apple, and every scammy data mining mobile app that exists. This whole death of Facebook due to data mining and misinformation circlejerk is regarded.

I trust my cat to not bite me while petting the belly more than an oligarch.

(My cat actually doesn't bite when I pet the belly, most of the tine)

AI isn't real, Cats are real, warm, soft.

Cat is love, Cat is life.

I'll stick to IRL strippers, thank you very much.

I have said it before but ai and the waitress that smiles at you as you order are not your friends.

I do not trust Mark Zuckerberg. Period. End of sentence.

I would trust him to design a cleaner to get the jizz stains out of the upholstery of the chair in my masturbatorium. I’d also hire him to do it. Under the table and at sub par wages of course. Then, before I paid him, I’d put some sweet baby rays on my balls and see it he wants some real genuine ballskin. And of course he would which would give me the perfect opportunity to extol the Roman Empire and regale him with tales of real men and masculinity. Sweet baby rays baby!

Short answer: No. Long answer: I trust him so little I'd like to see him use a chainsaw as a sounding rod.

At this point, we should all be very familiar with what it means to be a "Facebook friend". Only someone with the emotional depth of a Lego mini figure would think this is a good idea.

Additionally, real friends don't exploit your weak points to sell you shit, whether products or harmful ideologies.

I don’t trust Mark Zuckerberg to not replace all therapists with AIs trained exclusively on his childhood diary.

I wouldn’t trust Mark Zuckerberg to not create an AI that slowly rewrites your internal monologue.

I wouldn’t trust Zuck not to breed an army of hyper-intelligent raccoons trained in lock-picking and subtle social manipulation, release them into major urban centers, and then deny all involvement as he watches the chaos from a floating sensory deprivation tank wired directly into a dolphin’s brainwaves. (I may or may not be in favor of this one)

In a world where unfettered Internet access has completely eroded our ability to form connections with others, the solution to loneliness couldn’t possibly be anything but more screen time 🤦🏽‍♂️

Now there’s a guy whose skinsuit fits awkwardly

New insult (feel free to workshop below): You suck so much, your AI friend won't talk to you.

Black Mirror has its work cut out for it, that's all I'll say.

If it's not a Lucy Liu bot I'm not interested

This would be funnier if it wasn't so sad.

I wouldn't trust Zuck-Zuck to clean up after my dog, let alone anything more complex than that.

Well, why do you not have any friends? At least Zuckerberg is trying to make you feel good about yourself.

How much will a premium subscription cost for this imaginary friend?

Serial rapists is going to fix your sex issues.