united states is a democracy
this post was submitted on 26 May 2026
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“Can you find me an outlet that works”, during a building wide power outage. We have critical systems that run on UPS and wanted me to unplug something so their laptop battery didn’t die.
I knew a girl that was convinced that ~90% of planes crash...
I had to ask her "do you really think they'd keep making them if almost all of them killed people?"
Who did she grow up to vote for?
Almost certainly Trump. I've lost contact with her and her husband, but the brief interaction I had with him a few years ago he mentioned communist Democrats so I have to guess they're magoos.
I was certain that i was asking a rhetorical question — but not at all surprised to be literally correct…
When I read the news for the past 17 months or so, I swear it gets dumber every day.
A teacher in highschool put this up on the screen and told us to read it to ourselves,
"Aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."
Then some bright light in the back of the room asked if that was actually true after fully comprehending what was in front of them.
Once in Kindergarten I overheard two adults talking. They were concerned about kids drinking from the same cup because of ... AIDS. That day I learned that even adults could be ignorant. I definitely knew that AIDS could only be transmitted through blood and specifically not through spit.
I didn't know about the other way but after hearing about AIDS in the news my (I think) brother assured me that it couldn't be transmitted through spit.
Trickle down economics.
You don't get it though! If you just let the absolute greediest people in the world keep all their profit then they'll definitely share with you!
I actually had a coworker say a few months ago that he's a Regan Republican because he believed in trickle down economics... I literally said "really man? And how many more decades of being wrong do you need before you realize it still doesn't work, is five decades enough?" To which he didn't have a reply...
At the zoo, by the meerkat enclosure, I heard a woman ask an employee "what kind of cats are those?"
One time I was at a grocery store and they sold out of a particular drink I liked.
A manager was standing nearby and I asked when they would restock it.
"Never." He said. "It always sells out and I don't want to constantly order and restock it, so I'm not going to get more."
Reminds me of the story of the warehouseman who refused to give someone the last of an item in the warehouse because that would mean they'd be out of stock.
Ah. There's a reasons for that, as told to me by a supply sergeant in the military. A lot of suppliers had a BEL (Basic Equipment List), which says all stock must have a minimum and a maximum of XYZ in order to meet government spec. Some large items, like diesel generators, have a BEL minimum of 2, but also because of their size and storage complexity, have a maximum of 2. So it order to get a new one, you must get rid of one of the old ones. But if you get rid of the old one, you are below minimum BEL, and could fail inspection or an inventory check, if it takes a while to get a new one. Large items don't always "hang around," but they get manufactured on demand, so the only way to get a new one is to be without one for a very long period of time. Thus, you risk failing inspection. The best way to avoid that is to keep two and never order any.
Military logic.
On top of that, everything is ordered by article number. So it happened on a boat that they needed two replacement bolts for the engine. The engineer wrote the order, and the captain signed it and sent it to HQ.
They were informed the order would take (a long time). When they finally got the word that the order was in, they were astonished that two heavy load trucks were waiting for them. Each containing a turbine nearly as big as their boat. Which had nearly the same inventory number as the bolts. With two digits switched.
that's just cheating the system to achieve some metric
seems like a funny joke tbh
Which would have been funny. They didn't ever restock the drink, though.
Sounds like the shopkeeper was more interested in resting than infinite profits & money.
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"Monkeys are brown because they eat bananas. You know how flamingos turn pink because they eat shrimp? Well monkeys eat bananas and bananas turn brown" -two dead ass serious girls I met
"People didn't use crossbows when trying to siege a castle because the bolts fly in a straight line, so they fly over castle walls" -college history professor, about to be surprised gravity existed in the middle ages
Trump president
I was once stopped by an elderly couple.
One side of the couple was arguing that the sun went out at night.
The other couple was arguing that the moon covered over the sun at night, and that's why we couldn't see the sun.
They asked me to clarify which one of them was correct as an independent third party, and I told them that the earth rotates, and so when you can't see the sun, it's because it's on the other side of the planet.
They both paused for a moment, looked at each other, and then looked at me and said, "oh, yeah", and that was the end of the argument.
Should have said its because the mothman spreads his wings at night and covers the sun. But he only does that so he can see you better because he sees better at night.
I‘m sure both agreed that what you said was stupid when you left 😂
Sounds like they were made for each other.
Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly.
"Call volume is higher than normal"
The fuck it is. If anytime I call is 'higher than normal', change what your "normal" baseline is or stop lying to me.
The normal volume benchmark is taken at 3AM on a national holiday, which also is on a Sunday.
"Please listen carefully as our menu items have changed."
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I’ve mentioned this one before, but it’s worth retelling.
I briefly knew a guy, absolute hick ass trailer trash, who said a large number of incredibly dumb things to me, but this one stands out. He once told me that Southern Baptist was the one true religion, because, and this is a direct quote, “His name is John the Baptist, not John the Catholic!”
And for him that was a QED moment.
Dumbest motherfucker I’ve ever encountered.
I was at a trailer park party once as a non-white person in the south.
Apropos of nothing, I was approached by probably the skinniest human on the planet. Like, he was so skinny you couldn't tell if you were looking directly at his bones, or if his skin was actually a paper thin covering over his bones. He was so skinny, he could have performed in some sort of advertisement explaining how the price of a cup of coffee could help feed the starving southerners.
As I was scanning my periphery to see if I could identify the Necromancer that was animating this creature, this person told me, of their own volition, that in church they had learned that white people were made by God and therefore had souls and black people evolved from monkeys and therefore did not have souls.
In his mind, this was a way of reconciling the truth of evolution with the faith of his church.
He had no idea that he had just lobbed the most racist thought that I had ever been exposed to in my entire life at me.
the most racist thought that I had ever been exposed to in my entire life
Damn, the white southerners have started behaving themselves since I left a couple of decades ago if that’s the worst you heard! Barely even joking, I’ve met so many people where I live now who are from the south that say ‘I just had to get the fuck out’. Gorgeous places, tiny clusters of great people, and vast swathes of shit straight out of Deliverance.
I am struggling to think of anything a human being could say that would be more racist than:
"This entire group of people are soulless homunculi, p-noid zombies, there is nothing going on behind their eyes, when they die they just die."
Oh, they can throw in a lot more racist stereotypes and racial slurs! Not doing that to your face is what we’ve been conditioned to accept as progress for the south.
In his head, you are now the non-white friend he can claim he has to prove he’s not racist.
(Also, username checks out…?)
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I've already told that story but anyway: a relative told me that the GDPR was a conspiracy from Europe to destroy the European internet (why? why not!)
So that guy literally deleted his own web site (full of old stuff, it was a big project) so that... he would not be forced to delete his own web site by the big bad Europe.
He is also anti-vax, and allergic to Wifi and Bluetooth... except when he is in our house filled with Wifi and Bluetooth (but we have never told him, he could die!)
"This isn't what I voted for!"
Those people are at least smarter than the ones who DID vote for this.
Or those who have still to understand that what is happening is actually due to their vote.
Somebody once told me they don't read recreationally because authors are lazy for making readers do all the work of imagining what their story looks like. He was completely sincere, and actually became agitated at the idea of people reading anything beyond manuals or mandatory sorts of things.
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“Salt is making a comeback.”
—Mother in law, after a quadruple bypass.
giving rich people more money is important for 'job creation'.
the lie that killed the middle class
Ladies and gentlemen your 47th President of the USA....
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