this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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Yesterday I got sprayed with garter snake musk and I need to feel better about myself

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[–] blackbrook@mander.xyz 1 points 45 minutes ago
[–] MrKoyun@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

2 comments in and I'm just gonna stop reading now

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

growing up in the country you learn one thing.

don't flush things that aren't meant for the toilet.

had to snake and pump the septic tank dozens of times because somebody kept flushing tissues and they would clog up the tank and take forever to break down.

I've literally ate my fair share of shit in my youth.

never again.

the only thing that comes close to being worse than rotting shit, is rotting garbage at the dump. that smell sticks to you and will be in your head for days. I still remember the putrid smell from all the shitty piss filled diapers.

then again a close second is a sun bloated corpse.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Had a manure tank truck pop a seal in front of me spraying pressurized pig shit all over my car.

I had my windows down 😐

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

I'm gonna go with the skunk. I was just misted with it from a good distance but it took days for the smell to go away. The house it was under smelled like skunk when the weather was damp for years.

[–] sharkweek@sopuli.xyz 15 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I worked at an abbatoire for a while. Dodged the worst stuff no problem ... except for one time with green puss from an abscess in a cow. It must have been under a lot of pressure.

I cut the abscess out and showed it to a woman I didn't like in quality control. She threw up. It was my fault, so I had to clean that up, and I didn't get to go home early to clean myself.

It was not a great job.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sharkweek@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Not really, it didn't exactly improve my relationship with her

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 49 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] sharkweek@sopuli.xyz 1 points 39 minutes ago

At least it makes for a good drunken gross-out story, when I can add all the gory little details.

Last time I told it was to a guy who was clearly out of his depth after being served dog meat and black eggs. He went so pale ... maybe in the long term it was worth it, lol

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 17 hours ago

I used to harvest shellfish for a job, and we used pressurized water to help dig down. There's a whole lot of dead beach and low tide thst I blasted myself with, but there'd be some big ol honking horseclams 3 feet under the sand that closed off and died down there a long time before my hose found the cavity of its putrefied liquified remains.

Having that propelled in a blast along with sand and seaweed was s fun time.

[–] cheeseburger@lemmy.ca 13 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Anal gland squeezings from my cat. I didn't want to spend another $300 at the vet and did it myself. The horrors.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

perfect analogy for knowing something is expensive and knowing why something is expensive.

$300 well spent 🤮

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 1 points 4 hours ago

How weird is it that I was just thinking about this particular Penny Arcade comic:

In the notes:

In case you are wondering, cats apparently need regular maintenance, like cars. And, like an oil change, this juicing process can be done (I'm told) at home, preferably with the curtains drawn and a couple inches of sawdust laid down. That's right: you can wring out your own cat's asshole. This is the kind of helpful information you can expect when you visit Penny Arcade. Don't everybody run home at once.

[–] kboos1@lemmy.world 59 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Doing electrical work in a chicken rendering plant. I was sprayed with the liquefied remains of chickens that were at least a week old coming out of a tanker truck into a pit that was outside with a sea of flys covering it like a tarp. To make it worse, I looked over at a guy 10ft away eating a bowl of fruit loops like it was a normal day, that experience changed my life because I never want that to me my normal.

[–] sblxck@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 day ago

I think you win this round

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 16 points 1 day ago

That's ten times worse than mine but oddly similar. Some stupid friends and me once shot a canned whole chicken with 454 Casull at close range. I might still have the footage somewhere, it was like a fireworks shell of protein.

[–] discocactus@lemmy.world 12 points 18 hours ago

Norovirus vomit.

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 34 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I used to work at a fish packing factory and had to get something out of a skip bin and i fell getting in. I was drenched in rotting fish guts and green slime that had been sitting for a couple of days out in the heat of the Aussie QLD summer (around 40C)

[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 15 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Yep I threw up a little in my mouth. Congratulations, I guess.

Why the fuck am I even reading this thread...

[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

I've been skunked before.

Which smelled bad (understatement), but didnt feel gross. Meanwhile, the solution being to wash yourself with tomato sauce felt hella icky.

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 9 points 18 hours ago

Not "sprayed" per se but it seems squirrel monkeys pee on their hands and touch stuff to mark it. One of these guys was sitting at the back of my neck when they decided it's time to clarify who owns what. So he started to pee on his hands while still sitting there and most of it ran down my spine. The he proceeded to touch my hair and clothes.

The smell was tolerable but being covered in monkey pee still was something I hadn't on my radar..

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 17 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Squeezed pus out of a cyst for my brother. It shot out and got me in the eye. Thank dog I wear glasses.

Not directly sprayed, but someone shot of pepper spray in the restaurant I worked at years ago as a prank. Couldn't breath right the rest of the night.

[–] CaptainMan251@lemmy.world 8 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Ah, yes, the funny prank where we spray blinding, painful particles everywhere. As a human i too think this is hilarious.

WHY DO THEY DO THOSE THINGS T_T

I was sitting outside of an anime con rave with some friends when people started streaming out of the rave in a hurry. Someone had set off pepper spray in the middle of the crowd. Never fully found out why but the two stories I heard were either that a guy got way too handsy with a girl or someone just did it for the lulz. (Either way it was a bad time for a lot of people and the paramedics had to be called for a few folks.)

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago

Worked at a restaurant hood cleaning company once. Sometimes the techs had to bring back buckets of grease they removed from a place because there's a lot of rules around where you can dispose of it.

Walked into the shop at the wrong time and got hit in the chest with a spray of rancid, black grease. Had to throw those clothes away because I couldn't get it out.

[–] infinitevalence@discuss.online 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I have 2 kids so, vomit, poop, blood, mucus, and even breast milk.

[–] CaptainMan251@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You should work in healthcare. It's like that, but adults, and everyone is yelling.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 1 points 4 hours ago

Beat meat to it

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I'd take being sprayed with breast milk over any of the other substances any day of the week.

Though since I've been there myself, yeah I've had all of these sprayed on me as well haha

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[–] TryingToBeGood@reddthat.com 12 points 22 hours ago

Damn, reading these makes my horse piss look positively tame.

[–] Beth@piefed.social 13 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Healthcare…you get numb to a lot. But honestly I can’t stand phlegm.

[–] CaptainMan251@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

Toothpaste spit for me. I will look away and tell them to spit, and then hold it at arms length to the sink while looking away.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also my ick. I absolutely hate a successful mucus plug dislodgement

[–] Beth@piefed.social 5 points 23 hours ago

Even reading it made my toes curl a little, haha.

[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)
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[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Human piss grossest.

Worst thing was gasoline covered head to toe when a hose sprung a leak when I was working as a full service gas station attendant. I'm glad it wasnt propane though

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My baby sons ass while changing a diaper…

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 8 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

Same. Parenthood brings a whole new perspective on bodily fluids.

GF, after gettingback feom the store: "Any reason why my hairbrush is on the floor?"
Me watchingour toddler: "Don't touch, it'sfull of poop!"
GF: ...

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 1 points 17 hours ago

Hihihi..

From then on I turned is ass 90 degrees away from me when changing diapers.

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[–] SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club 7 points 23 hours ago

Work's pink multi surface cleaner. Never knew I'd know exactly what the fuck poison tastes like! Gotta say, pretty unpleasant

[–] Sxan@piefed.zip 4 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

My cat had sneezed diectly onto my face.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 12 hours ago

What, only the once?

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