this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

[Scene opens on a wide, desolate savanna at dusk. The camera slowly pans over a leopard lying under a tree, its large body barely able to move. The sun is setting, casting a cold, dim light over the scene. Soft wind rustles through the dry grass. The leopard’s eyes are dull, its breathing labored.]

Narrator (soft, somber voice): In the wild, leopards are meant to stalk, to hunt, to climb. But for some, this is no longer possible. These are the leopards of the forgotten savanna... the ones who can no longer live the life they were born to lead.

[Cut to a close-up of another leopard, this one lying next to a watering hole, panting heavily. The camera lingers on its enormous, bloated body, its paws barely able to reach the ground. The leopard’s eyes seem vacant, devoid of the wild spark they once had.]

Narrator: Overfed and unable to move, these leopards have been left to a slow, painful existence. They can no longer hunt their prey, no longer climb the trees to escape danger, no longer feel the thrill of the chase. They are trapped in their own bodies.

[Cue the soft, mournful opening chords of "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. The camera slowly pans over a third leopard, sluggishly trying to rise, but its massive weight prevents it from standing. It lets out a heavy sigh, its once-strong legs buckling beneath it.]

Narrator: They are the forgotten victims of a world that has abandoned them. Too fat to run, too weak to fight... These leopards are slowly fading, one breath at a time. They need your help.

[Cut to a shot of a leopard staring out over the savanna. The camera lingers on its face, eyes half-closed, its expression one of quiet resignation.]

Narrator: For just $3 a day, you can provide the care and support these leopards so desperately need. A donation will help give them the chance to live a life of dignity. Help them find their way back to the wild they were meant to roam.

[The music swells as the camera fades to black, and the words "Your donation can make a difference" appear in white text on the screen.]

Narrator (whispering): Please, don’t let them suffer in silence. The time to act is now.

[The music fades out, and the SPCA logo appears in the corner, along with a toll-free number and website for donations.]

[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 3 weeks ago

actually putting on "angel" while reading this makes it up to 23% better

[–] notsoshaihulud@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

TL;DR: this isn't stupidity unraveling. It's the Oligarchic takeover of academia and science

It's cute that the post assumes ignorance. We are way past the Hanlon's razor phase. Cutting indirects is a way to punch $10-100M holes into elite universities' budgets overnight, sow fear and render them financially vulnerable. The prestigious universities will be bailed out by private donations and boom, you have an unprecedented scale of oligarchic influence of leading academic institutions and academic research.

[–] straightjorkin@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's the same playbook that they used for public schools, strip funding, let the school flounder, then they'll start asking "well what have these universities contributed lately? Why should we fund their research when they haven't discovered anything recently?"

The only colleges that will stay standing will be the networking hubs for their rich sons to plot the best ways to ~~exploit the working class~~ get business and economics degrees.

[–] notsoshaihulud@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

yup. Ironically, NIH grants lead to quite tangible discoveries, and institutions with the highest indirects (overhead funding) usually have proportionally higher rate of major discoveries. So the original poster isn't wrong about this hamstringing US biomedical research. On another thread someone proposed that Canada should have a grant-buyout brain drain program for refugees from US academia. It was actually a pretty smart one. The EU could also bank on this.

[–] straightjorkin@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I've heard rumblings of foreign countries already offering deals to phds in the US.

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Because the leopards hunger for your face, you dangerous intellectual.

Anti-intellectualism was fine with this well-educated moron - supported by him, even - until it affected him, it would seem.