this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 43 comments
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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 25 points 16 hours ago

I support a woman's right to an abortion, at any point.

[–] zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 14 hours ago

Best birthday present for any dog.

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 72 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Not kids... this is definitely grown friends.

[–] istdaslol@feddit.org 42 points 20 hours ago

Yeah the empty jars on the roof seem kinda odd if that were actually done by kids. And the free windshield and headlight suggest they had some understanding of allowing that vehicle to be still be driven

[–] plantfanatic@sh.itjust.works 9 points 20 hours ago

Grown kids and their friends?

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 66 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

that isn't the result of kids, that's the result of unsupervised kids.

[–] woelkchen@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

In the 1990s we were unsupervised 90% of the time between school and bedtime.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 12 points 15 hours ago

It's gotta be an adult-sized person.

[–] thatsTheCatch@lemmy.nz 39 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

My guess is there was a breakup and their ex knew they were allergic to peanut butter so did this to their car

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 6 points 15 hours ago

Or she just happened to have a lot of peanut butter. You don't have to be allergic to hate having this happen to your car.

[–] secher@lemmy.world 27 points 20 hours ago

Oh, peanut butter. Whew.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 7 points 16 hours ago

This happened in Malcolm in the Middle.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

That wasn't kids. That was a jilted lover

[–] nailingjello@piefed.zip 34 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Or a Jiffed lover. Don't mind me, I'm just going to Skippy right on out of here and take my nutty jokes with me.

[–] secher@lemmy.world 14 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Nuttin wrong with a little crunchy humor, it smooths the soul.

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 10 points 19 hours ago

Oil is stored in the pee nuts.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 14 hours ago
[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 17 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

The inclusion of actual peanuts makes me wonder if this was done to someone with a peanut allergy

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 11 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (2 children)

Is that not attempted murder? You don't fuck around with peanut allergies.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

What would happen if you hit someone with a peanut allergy with that car by accident?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 18 hours ago

Straight to jail.

[–] plantfanatic@sh.itjust.works -3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I’m allergic to grass, does you mowing the lawn constitute the same thing?

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Don't be silly. Pretty sure hay fever doesn't send you info anaphylactic shock.

Edit: I feel the irony of a plantfanatic being allergic to grass, though. :)

[–] plantfanatic@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

You seriously think that only peanut allergies can cause death or anaphylactic shock…?

[–] too_high_for_this@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Think you're right. What a tasty snack

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 10 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

Eh, assuming you're not allergic, just roll down the windows and drive it to a car wash. 15 minute $15 fix, just remember to roll the windows back up before it starts.

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Best to go to a self service car wash and use a water power washer wand.

That part would be kind of satisfying to me.
The drive would suck though.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

You want to get peanut butter all up in the door chamber that the window recedes into?

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 5 points 17 hours ago

Eh, it only touches the gasketing, but it would probably still get some on the inner part of it you'd need to clean with a pipe cleaner or something, yeah.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago

No, remove a wiper blade and scrape off enough to see out. Then reattach it. Then go wash the car.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 14 points 21 hours ago

what kind of jelly supremacist bullshit do you have to be on to merit this

[–] thisismynewnewacct@lemmus.org 7 points 18 hours ago

Sweet merciful crap, my car!

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 11 points 21 hours ago

is that the result of kids or ...some sort of hatred.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 5 points 19 hours ago

Toyota, now with more plant based protein.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

That's quite a lot of peanut butter. Is that also like peanuts just dumped on the hood?

This both brutally cruel and absolutely hilarious. I can't figure out if I would ground those kids or reward them for creativity and effort.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus, my parents would go nuclear if I had done this. Partly from the mess, but mostly from the waste of peanut butter. Pretty sure they would make me squidgy it back into the jars and that would be my peanut butter from now on.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 1 points 15 hours ago

It's usually spelled squeegee but in this case squidgy is a better fit. Speaking of which, I guess one could use the windshield wiper blades to manually scrape off enough to drive to the car wash. Wiper motor is probably not strong enough.

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 5 points 21 hours ago

If they got it on the upholstery in a similar fashion the car might legitimately be totalled.

[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

At work it's common to say "peanut butter over..." Meaning someone is spread over lots of tasks in a chain instead of just doing one task. Next time someone says it I'm sending them this.

[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Glad my picture is doing good out in the real world

[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Doing the lord's work 🤣🤣🤣

[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Just keeping the population at replacement level