Bet that dude jumps when someone else's Grindr notification goes off out in public.
this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2026
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I had a new prank idea just now, I need to get the notification sound and play it in public.
Well, yes, I personally have never seen a male giraffe mate with another male giraffe. I've never seen a male and a female giraffe mate, either. In fact I've never seen a giraffe in the wild at all.
So I'm gonna take this one step further and say giraffes don't exist in the wild. Every giraffe that exists lives in zoos because that's the only place I, personally, have ever seen them. Any evidence to the contrary is fake news.
Am I Republicaning correctly?
Close. You have to make a bold claim that combines those 2 unrelated topics. Something like....."The fact that I have only seen gay giraffes exist while in captivity proves that being gay is unnatural. I'm 100% positive every giraffe outside of Zoos are banging the Lord's way."
I have never personally witnessed two Floridians having sex. Therefore we can conclude that Floridians don't procreate and thus Florida can only sustain its population by illegally importing hordes of immigrants. The American federal government should arrest the entire Floridian government to put an end to this.
You are absolutely right!
“You never see a giraffe, a male giraffe, that mate(s) with a giraffe,” Rod Joseph said.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals
Giraffes
Further information: Giraffe § Necking
Male giraffes have been observed to engage in remarkably high frequencies of homosexual behavior. After aggressive "necking", it is common for two male giraffes to caress and court each other, leading up to mounting and climax. Such interactions between males have been found to be more frequent than heterosexual coupling.[95]
"Oh, no. Facts!" Rod Joseph shrieked in horror.
I would imagine most giraffes, male or otherwise, mate with giraffes.
I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here as to meaning, as the second part of his statement is even more incoherent if not, given context. I'm assuming that he just misspoke.
“Myself right now saying, ‘I am a giraffe,’ that doesn’t mean it’s true.”
I don't see as how his giraffe-ness would have much bearing on homosexuality, otherwise.
He's making an aside to denigrate otherkin because he doesn't know the difference between gay people and otherkin. After all, we're both queer.
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Lions, Giraffes, Bonobos and Tigers, oh my!
I wonder where he got the giraffes example from. It feels to like it was chosen on purpose. Uneducated people won't fact check it and the fact checkers cause social media engagement.
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This is why they want to dismantle Wikipedia, by the way.
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Republicans will claim that giraffes aren't gay and then shoot them anyway.
Plenty of queer animals throughout the animal Kingdom.
I wish I knew how to get people to care about things that actually matter even 10% as much as they care about things that will never, ever affect their lives in any material way... and are also NONE OF THEIR GODDAMNED FUCKING BUSINESS.
Why do you care if someone likes dick?
Because he likes dick, I guarantee it.
"You aren't born liking dick. You choose to like dick, just like I'm choosing not to like dick. I don't like dick, I don't like dick, I don't like dick, I don't, I don't, I don't"
“You aren’t born liking dick. You choose to like dick, just like I’m choosing not to like dick. I don’t like dick, I don’t like dick, I don’t like dick, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t”
He says to himself while gargling balls in a public restroom.
I mean if he stays away from the dick and just gargles the balls, maybe he really doesn't like dick
(He's still lying to himself and self-loathing, but what if?)
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Why do you care if someone likes dick?
Because they do too but were told it's bad.
I wish I knew how to get people to care
So much of the anti-LGBTQ hysteria comes from people who are in immediate proximity to friends and loved ones coming out of the closet. And while the natural response to this occurrence is to show love and support, we have a deluge of misinformation that's designed to poison people into believing the most insane bullshit.
Which is to say, people do care. But they tend to get their heads scrambled with reactionary media. And the end result is that, after hearing for decades "if you're gay then you've become the victims of sexual assault and you're going to do drugs and you'll get horrible diseases that will kill you", they respond with abject horror at the slightest hint of queerness. Same if you see a sibling or a child or (god fucking forbid) a parent or spouse show signs of it.
The end result of this firehose of induced anxiety, combined with the economic pressures of poverty and the social pressures of fascist religious institutions, is incoherent panic.
Why do you care if someone likes dick?
Because then they'll make you like dick and liking dick will kill you and damn your soul in a lake of fire for eternity.
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Giraffes are famous for engaging in extensive same-sex behavior. Studies have documented that up to 94% of observed mating-like activity happens between males, often involving intense caressing, "necking" (rubbing necks), and mounting
Literal 1984 shit. Taking one of the most extreme examples of hit happening and denying it completely. So sick of this shit.
Of course they’re necking.
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Sir, how many giraffes did you survey to come to this conclusion?
survey
Computer, zoom in, decode, and enhance.
have sex with
Meanwhile, Grindr profile views and hookups peak every time there's a Republican held convention.
Aren't giraffes known for being the most gay out of almost all animal species? Or am I thinking of another animal?
They are, yes.
This is like saying Liberace proves gay people are all actually straight.
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BREAKING: U.S. Rep. Andy Ogles (R-TN) caught in public restroom having sex with another man
Tell that to Proximo, dude.
Those giraffes you sold him, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold him... queer giraffes. He wants his money back.
“You cannot be born gay. That’s impossible biologically,” he added, stating his sureness that sexuality is a preference, not a biological orientation.
In my limited experience, I have read plenty of anecdotes where someone has this point of view, only to later realise that they’re bisexual.
It's just like those homophobes that talk about how hard it is not to be gay. "Something something constant temptation to have sex with men" and all that. I can say with absolute certainty that I've never experienced that temptation. I think you might just be attracted to men my guy.
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I love how all these conservatives have medical degrees and specialties. I had no idea that we had so many doctors in the US. Where is our free healthcare if we have such a surplus of 'expert' medical professionals???
Quite a lot of them are chiropractors, osteopaths and other para-medical "degree" holders. Not to mention the ones who have real medical degrees, but are certified by dodgy boards that they set up themselves, like Rand Paul.
I mean, this is so on the nose, it has to be on purpose.
How much animal porn is this guy watching that he thinks he's an expert on animal mating habits?
Quickly closes browser tab
"It's... it's research!"
Shouldn't there be some law or something to remove people in office who blatantly lie like this? Surely someone with this kind of attitude could not uphold democracy. They are a threat to national security.
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