BlameThePeacock

And yet I don't think raping someone is an acceptable response to being rejected and yet its still okay for women to treat all men like they might do it. So why should men not treat all women like they're going to cause problems if they get approached?

I'm 40, and married. This isn't about me.

You still don't get it through, you say talk to them first, but thay limits when you can even start a conversation to very limited locations and certainly doesn't include your suggestions around a park or embankment.

Do you think highschool isn't real?

We aren't talking about 40 year olds dating here grandm.

What the fuck does my energy level have to do with anything.

I've never had to ask a girl out in my life, I've been married to only my second relationship for more than half my life, and both ladies approached me.

It is a regular occurrence. Regular enough that it's been reflected in popular media for decades. They even make entire movies about "boy gets rejected by popular girl, boy transforms himself to win her over, boy decides he doesn't need her anymore because she's mean"

Are you honestly so naive that you think those initial rejections don't happen in real life? Everyone saw them at high school, and everyone saw them even more on social media when said girl spreads it around to cyberbully the boy even more. It's been more than 20 years since I was at high school, and even when we didn't have cellphones that shit still happened, and it didn't stop at University either.

If you walk up to random people in a cafe, park, or embankment (really?) and ask for their numbers, you could get a positive response, but it's equally likely that a women (or even a group) will start yelling at you for doing so.

That's what I'm saying about nowhere to ask safely. Some women will be totally fine with being approached, and others will not, but there is ZERO way to indicate to others that information.

We need to bring back the whole gay handkerchief system and adapt it to the whole population, If everyone wore an accessory or object that indicates your willingness(or not) to be approached it would make the whole situation 100% better. Like a stoplight party, but all the time and with slightly less impact on your whole wardrobe.

And you're so far down a path that you think getting laughed at is an acceptable response to someone asking you out.

Which one is more toxic?

You're using anecdotal data, I have actually heard a woman say "why won't he just ask me out" and that isn't useful data either.

It keeps coming up in dating studies though, which are useful, and frequently point out that women are complaining or confused about why it's happening.