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Women are being abandoned by their partners on hiking trails. What’s behind ‘alpine divorce’? (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 1 day ago by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world

418 comments fedilink hide all child comments

MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

which is obviously true, hut at much, much lower rates than women.

i take it you've manned and run the domestic crisis phone lines and seen this firsthand like i have because my experience is that women get much much more help (because help exists for women, it does not for men). men just report their first experiences, move on without getting the assistance that does not exist for abused men and then do not report any more abuse they suffer.

[–] webadict@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

You want to know the fun thing about your fucking dipshitted lie? If you are a man and you call a domestic crisis phone line, they will still give you resources. Resources for abused men, be they straight, queer, cis, or trans, DOES EXIST. In bigger areas, they will attempt to direct you towards more specific help since there might be groups better geared towards your specific situation, but, like the fact you think that a women's crisis resource would abandon men in need because they are men is such a fucking sexist lie. They might not be able to offer the same level of help, true. But they are there to help people in domestic abuse situations. Go fuck yourself.

[–] non_burglar@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So an article about women being abandoned in the wilderness should somehow evoke the plight of men's lack of support... What's the connection between these two?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

men report abuse less than women because the support structures are not there for them. it's like autism and left-handedness. it does not go away simply because you are not looking for it.

[–] non_burglar@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Again, I'll ask wtf that has to do with the article.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

which is obviously true, hut at much, much lower rates than women.

here, i emphasized your own words for you so you couldn't miss them this time.