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Women are being abandoned by their partners on hiking trails. What’s behind ‘alpine divorce’? (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 1 day ago by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world

421 comments fedilink hide all child comments

MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Damn, you're both lucky things didn't go worse. "I told them it was too dangerous, then I left them alone anyway, and they died from their injuries" would be a hell of a thing to have on one's conscience, let alone one thing to admit on the defendant's stand.

I mean, you're (presumably) an adult who can take responsibility for your own actions, but if she was truly concerned for your safety, abandoning you makes no sense. No matter how skilled my partner might be, I'd be waiting at the edge watching like a hawk, not saying anything, just making sure their stunt didn't end the way I feared it would. There's plenty of time for arguments about it when we're both back on solid ground. Literally turning away and walking off at the height of a dangerous act while alone in nature doesn't say "I'm concerned about your safety" as much as it says "I'm emotionally-immature and can't prioritize your actual well-being above my personal feelings."

Glad to hear she's an ex.

[–] anon6789@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

You are very correct. We both could have regretted the events much more than we did.

When I see parents take their smaller children places, I count them as "not dangerous."

This is where I was.

People will photograph each other chilling there all the time. I don't want to get close enough to see over the edge since I don't like heights, I just wanted to walk on the creekbed.

This is still at the top of the falls, but more indicitive of the side of the falls where she "disappeared" on me and what I was looking for her in. What I bounced off on the way down was three or so of those big boulders to the right of the tree there.