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Malort
Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I've actually tried accidentally... dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is
We do not.
The grapefruit reference is accurate. I'd describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn't actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I'm convinced there's some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.
The only remotely comparable flavor I've ever had is...
...Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.
0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for "absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed."
Good God unicum is horrible.
Also Stroh80 is a good contender for worst drink. It tastes like kinder garten glue smells, and it lingers for the rest of the evening. I only took a sip while a friend of mine took a whole shot, and he said the whole evening every time he burped the taste came back
Somehow a friend of mine was convinced to try it, and now insists on taking shots of it every night out.
At least the taglines are accurate:
Malort: turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations!
Malort: tonight’s the night you fight your dad!
Malort: these pants aren’t going to shit themselves!
Malort: the Gary, Indiana of liquor!
Dumpster juice. That’s the best way I can describe it.
I am one of like less than 2% of the population that actually likes it.
To me, it just tastes like a gin that’s more…dirty? I dunno how else to describe it, but just more “dirty” pine. I actually enjoy it. 🤷♂️
I'm utterly convinced everyone just says malort is gross for the bit. It's not that bad. There are other bizarre tasting liquors that don't get the same rep. I've had it and, while not great, didn't really live up to the vomit inducing reputation.
Name me a worse liquor, I'll buy it next week if I can find it local, and I'll report back.
At uni, the go-to liquor at our events was made from malört and we would have shots of it served up. The taste is awful and it sticks in your mouth, I hated every single one but I have never passed it up either.
Did you go to uni in hell or chicago?
I'm from Saint Louis, what's the difference?
Good stadium nachos
Tasted like my grandfather’s shoes