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What changed that you didn't expect to change when you moved from one place to another?
(piefed.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2026
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Eye contact / greetings between strangers
*in the USA
I'm originally from the south where everyone wears plastic smiles and waves in passing and all that.
Then I went to the northeast where it's more eyes on the horizon. A smile and a wave is met with a raised eyebrow or a sneer, and friends commonly show their comfort with each other using insults.
Then out to the midwest where zero eye contact gets you stared at, but heavy eye contact is taken as a challenge. It has to be just the right amount, and I'm still trying to figure it out after years.
Here in NM, out on my walks around the neighborhood every day, I say either "good morning" or "hello" to everyone I pass, which varies from one to perhaps ten people per walk, 99% respond in same. It's not fake, it's just common courtesy to acknowledge other people. I see about half of them every day, and I know of two regulars who won't respond, so I don't say anything to them.
There was one guy who enthusiastically said "good morning!" every time for a couple of years, we even stopped and chatted briefly a couple of times. I didn't see him for an entire summer, then when I saw him again he wouldn't say hello. Then he started saying hello again, on his own. I don't push. Some people have a lot going on.
I don't know about "heavy eye contact is a challenge". At about 15 feet apart, walking toward each other look to make brief eye contact and say "good morning". By the time you've said the words, they're nearly past you, and they either respond or don't. That's all there is to it.
If I had friends who responded to a smile and a wave with a sneer, I think we wouldn't be friends for long.
My experience is in CO specifically and may depend on a lot more than my location. Just generalizing to try to meet the spirit of the question / story flow.
A good friend of mine who went on a similar nomadic journey settled in NM and said similar great things about it. I wish I could remember which city... one of the biggest ones?
you are getting sneers and glares from NorthEast USA because we hate fake pleasantries/smiles and southern nazis.
Many people don't make eye contact any longer. Things have changed.
South, northeast and midwest of the USA
Yes. I debated whether I should specify or if it'd sound dumb / be obvious.
Now I see I should have, since I made Rothe sad
The amount of US defaultism on lemmy saddens me. I thought I had mostly left that behind on reddit those years ago.