this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2025
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.

I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.

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[–] dsilverz@calckey.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

@wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com

there are communes and mutual aid communities

Yes, there are. Yes, they might be nice places for a while. But no, they're likely to not hold as permanent havens.

Because if you zoom out, you might notice how this world is getting increasingly ominous as the days pass.

First: climate change. There's nowhere safe in this world from the environmental consequences of Industrial Revolution. Temps have been rising, wet-bulb hot, hurricanes have been getting stronger, sea level rising is risking entire countries, many are trying to flee from coastal places and islands that'll inevitably get underwater. It's already happening.

Then, tech. Things are getting more and more reliant on digital walled gardens, and the old ways of doing things (e.g. cash, barter) are getting more and more forgotten and even criminalized.

There's no way a commune can keep "sovereign" for long under lobbied jurisdictions, except if we're talking about something akin to a Sealand Principality (good luck trying to keep sovereignty on international waters).

do you really think it helps to spread this shit to people who might otherwise be happily ignorant to it?

Oh, thanks for en-grandeur-ing me, but I'm just nobody, a ghost wandering through this cyberspace. Believe me: my voice is a drop in the ocean. I'm not that important as your phrasing suggest. I'm simply too weird, and my language often feels highly extraterrestrial to anybody. If you see my comment history, you'll notice this.

Also... on "being happily ignorant to [reality]". Sometimes I wish I was, I'm quite envious of this ability. It must be nice seeing the world without knowing how our senses deceive us (René Descartes), how people around us uses psychology tricks to pull us into a sticky and hidden spiderweb of social compliance (Derren Brown), how humans are their own wolves (Hobbes), and so on.

But here's the catch: "Not seeing" and/or "not knowing" doesn't imply "not happening". You don't see your own bodily cells, yet there are countless cells of yours undergoing apoptosis right now as part of natural biology. Reality doesn't give a nought if we're unaware of it, it happens nonetheless!

An ostrich can bury its head under the sand the deepest it can, maybe deeper than Mariana Trench, but the rain still falls over it as soon as it starts raining just because "physics" (force of gravity).

And I can't help but see the storm approaching at the horizon, and it doesn't look good: from climate change to ever-increasing power grip of Big Techs (to the extent that they now got thousands of those funny chunks of metal flying above our heads everywhere around this globe), all the way to a blatant repetition of the same errors, rehearsing history over and over again, partly due to this exact mentality of "happily ignoring" the surrounding obvieties, so the only thing that we end up learning from history books is that we can't learn from history books. Yep, ignorance is a bliss!

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Look man, I get it. The world is heading to hell in a hand basket, and in a lot of ways accelerating towards it.

But there's a difference between awareness and... I guess feeling the "doom" of all of it constantly. Existing with that weight constantly pushing down on you. At least part of that is a choice.

Letting the weight of all of this impact you constantly is not a virtue. Do what you can to push back the oncoming waves where you can. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to hold back everything. And enjoy the joy and beauty where you can find them.

Living your life bent out of shape about things you can't do anything about is just wasting what little time you have, and wasting time while things are comparatively better than they're likely to be later.

And I get the need to speak out about all of it. But it doesn't help. What helps is getting involved with stuff locally, being active in local politics (to a degree, the rot and shitty lying politicians exist on local scales too). Doing what you can. Trying to discard the worry and upset about what you can't. Try to influence those close to you to do the same.