The answer he was getting to is just as crazy. There were so many trafficked victims who were also forced into beastiality that ALSO want to be in the FBI there grew a need to update the policy. Like....what?
this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
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The applicant pool is so narrow we had to consider this limitation. It's sad applicants may have been forced to perform those acts either way though.
I deleted this part of my post...I can't help but think this is one guy who wasn't ever part of trafficking.
“Why would you even get into bestiality?” he asked. “We’re not into bestiality,” said Patel.
In a further exchange, Patel explained to Senator John Kennedy, the Louisiana Republican, that previously, regulations had barred anyone who engaged in bestiality “on either side of it.”
“Either side of what, the bestiality?” asked Kennedy. “So you disqualified the animal?”
“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.
Is this real life or a god damn SNL skit? It reads like an SNL skit.
those arent exact quotes btw. you can find video of the whole thing. patel explains that his team told him that there have been applicants that were sex trafficked and forced to do some things that might count as sexual acts with animals. apparently that what he meant by being on the other side of beastialty.
Scene opens on a group of new recruits wearing FBI uniforms.
Camera pans out, it's an animal shelter.
Camera pans out further, the man speaking is Kash Patel in a gimp suit.
Here at the "Friends of Beastiality Institute", we take not asking or telling very seriously, and my thing is definitely bleeeeep*
Scene cuts to disclaimer of no animals being hurt.
Disclaimer ends. As we return to the scene with the recruits, we see Kash zipping up his gimp suit.
"And that, my friends, was consensual."
Cut to dog wearing a bee suit and smoking a cigarette....
"live from New York, Kash fucks dogs!"
The lunatics have taken over the asylum long ago.
are those the reptiles i heard so much about?
How do you start a fight between Kash Patel and JD Vance?
Or the weirdest Eiffel Tower.
I just keep thinking Furry Bureau of Investigation.
If you watch the full thing they removed the restrictions for vicims according to Patel. Apparently someone was forced to engage in such acts against their will.
Honestly the US is so crazily stupid now. And that cones from someone who lived through Brexit and Boris Johnson as prime minister of the UK.
We are living in the stupidest timeline.
We are living in the stupidest timeline.
Careful, there's a 50/50 chance that every time somebody says that, the stupidest timeline gets stupider.
Maybe I shouldn't have quoted it.
Nah, it's the most corrupt & greedy timeline...maybe.
The stupid people in charge are a feature, not a bug.
So they accommodated a very small minority of people? 🤔
I didn't say it was right or wrong
This is what happens when you elect a degenerate, he'll bring other degenerates to positions that they would never have gotten in a normal situation.
What’s really funny here is that they could have said something like “we condensed the questions using screening questions. Instead of asking about specific, uncommon, convictions we ask if they’ve been convicted of anything. This is to make the process more efficient.”
Or whatever.
But now, no one is going to believe that’s why, and everyone’s going to believe cash got shagged by a horny goat.
That wouldn’t have been as useful as a distraction from the Epstein files and/or various looting and power grabs going on.
Frat bros with weird initiation rituals now free to apply, Skull and Bones come on down.
You're all missing the bigger picture, with FBI agents being placed at polling stations they need this to - say it with me - RAT FUCK THE ELECTION!
No troops at polling places is a very important part of the ~~constitution~~ US code If the US government is going to use the FBI as a thumb, it should remember that a hand has 4 fingers.
I'm confused about what you expect to happen?
Well, Yakko... that's a very Yakko thing to say.
Ask Wakko, he knows.
The memories of those 'invading' horse cocks could explain his resting facial expression...
So he fucked two dogs?
Allegedlys
he needs to take a hit of cocaine first to get him into the mood.
Just wait until you hear what he did to the family cat!
meowzers!
He does have resting just-got-his-junk-shredded-by-an-angry-cat face.