Asklemmy

"Under Construction"

"Best viewed in Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher"

"An error has occurred in the script on this page."

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For me it's webrings. And, they're back. I'm in a hurry so fame l can't research for you, but, they exist.

Guest log.

Web rings.

“Secret” links like clicking on an unassuming graphic takes you to a secret page.

Contact info that includes a fax machine phone #

guest book

An image gallery for no apparent reason with photos of your pets and family with no apparent image size or dimension consistency. Different fonts on everything often in different colours. Random string of emojis that are not of the standard type (there wasn't a standard yet). A background of a single colour or simple repeating pattern.

Two paragraphs talking about how great you feel about finally getting on the World Wide Web. Include as many typos as possible.

A dozen links to other websites (make sure at most only 2 of them actually work).

Excessive use of the BLINK tag in titles.

Copy and paste some random Ascii art but make sure not to use the right font so nothing aligns properly.

Real Audio music files.

Repeating background texture that makes the text a bit hard to read. Begging visitors to sign the guestbook. 'Under construction' gif for pages that aren't done yet. Autoplay midi (probably not possible nowadays).

👉CLICK HERE to E-MAIL👈

Email is the link, not the words click here and certainly not the entire thing.

Dancing baby gif somewhere on the page is a must.

A random button that directs you to "You Are An Idiot" hosted on albinoblacksheep.com
Bonus points if you can get it to look like it's still running on Shockwave flash

Maybe a geocities domain?

Marquee

.wav background music starts playing and maybe you can turn it off. But maybe not.

• use tables for layout, don’t hide the borders and don’t merge them
• also use iframes for root layout
• use the first 16 named css colors only
• only use default serif font in default size, don’t consider wide screens so body copy flows across the whole screen

A CGI web-counter.

Good luck though, I found one page talking about them, it had 11 dead links to web counter pages.

WAIT! I have something for this!

A collection of Geocities sites. Pick a category and enjoy!

frames

old html tags like marquee that might not work anymore

under construction

webring links

hardcode it to 800x600

that setting i forget the name of where the background image is static but everything else scrolls

animated gifs.

soooo many animated gifs

"You are visitor #36,738"

midi version of some popular (or relevant to whatever fandom the site is about) 90s song autoplaying and looping in the background

Autoplay a song and make the player controls tough to find

custom cursors

text in a colour other than black or white that doesn't stand out against the background well

refer to yourself as a 'webmaster'

Hit random on neocities and came up with this:

https://empeethree.neocities.org/

I'd say that's pretty early 2000s

Scrolling text

https://www.timecube.net/

Several ambitious and promising-sounding sections that will always just say 'under construction'

A page with links to your favorite web sites, usually some really popular sites everyone knows.

A FAQ page. Remember to have a snarky fourth wall breaking conversation with your own questions and answers. Don't actually provide any useful information.

An obnoxious MIDI file playing in the background.

Don't be afraid to add a lot of GIF images. Some sort of skull or that dancing baby are crucial.

If you really hate your users, implement the whole page in Shockwave.

You need a banner ad where you have to punch the monkey to win a prize, and it changes the mouse pointer icon.

mystery-meat imagemap navigation

At least one broken image somewhere

Page colors that looked like Skittles vomit.

Gotta have a really tacky tiled background JPG.

1337 h4x0r 5p34k

Webrings.

The pride of our nation, Internet Mahir: I kiss you!

https://web.archive.org/web/20020726141104/http://www.istanbul.tc/mahir/mahir/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahir_%C3%87a%C4%9Fr%C4%B1

Dude was probably the first internet meme.

This guy's site: https://dannarchy.com/

Animated dividers. Like the blood dripping bar or the pulsing neon one. Or both if you were me.

The BLINK tag