this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2026
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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

This reminds me the tue smart tea kettle that required an always online connection to function, and became completely useless when the servers shut down.

Yes, it was a kettle. Yes, like the one you use for boiling water.

It had settings for certain types of tea that it didn't have on-device. And it didn't have a basic "just boil the water" function.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Oh gods, the Juicero. Yeah, it's of the same ilk. The "smart" trend of adding computers and network connections to things that literally never needed them.

Like the smart water bottle that reminded you about being thirsty and needing to drink.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 27 minutes ago

IIRC the excuse for Juicero having internet access was to read QR codes on the fruit pouches that included the expiration date, and it would refuse to squeeze expired fruit. Because at it's heart, it was a screw press. A severely over-engineered screw press. Like Jurassic Park, they spared no expense.

[–] cloudshouter@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

Anyone else remember the massive bot net that killed the internet in Europe and half the US doing a DDOS attack over a Minecraft server? Apparently it was mostly made of smart refrigerators, thermostats, and other appliances.

[–] SplitTheUSInFour@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

IT pro shocked! Jfc what kind of society did we become? This is so embarrassing to read. Just the thought of humans ending up here. Something about an internet coffee machine malfunction.

It's all so ignorant and moronic.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 2 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Tried a pod machine at work for a bit. It made warm, weak coffee.

I use a Bialetti Moka. Makes great coffee.

I've never had a cup of coffee from a Keurig that didn't taste burnt, and wasn't a pain in the ass to get get working to begin with

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 hours ago

Depends on the pod. Usually in offices they put weak stuff.

[–] Toga77@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Use a damn French press.

It's not hard.

These stupid machines suck, make shit coffee, and surveil you.

People are so lazy

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

And generate SO MUCH waste

[–] Toga77@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Yes thank you!

Can't believe I forgot the INSANE amount of waste

[–] ian@feddit.uk 16 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Pod coffee machines are a businesses dream. Lock in the customers. And then don't care about the plastic and foil waste per cup you create in order to do this. No surprise if they do other bad things. Visiting friends and they show you their pod machine? Ask them what happens with the used pod? Do them a favour and tell them there is a better way. Such as coffee machines that you put beans in. No not Heinz baked beans you moron! Coffee beans that produce only bio degradable waste. And freshly ground tastes great. No chemicals added.

Wasting your internet is trivial compared to the landfill waste created.

[–] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I can see use cases that aren't just laziness but yeah it's mostly a bad idea

[–] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 hours ago

I mean, they make poor-tasting coffee. That seems like it's the worst thing of all.

When you roast and then grind coffee, it releases carbon dioxide. If you seal it up after processing, it will usually inflate a bag; that's why most coffee bags at the grocery store have that little one-way check valve in the bag itself.

The only way to keep coffee from offgassing is to let it go stale first. That's what they do to most coffee that used to come in metal cans. They have to do the same thing to the pods. At best, your coffee is pre-staled and only gets worse from there.

Then you have all the stupid non-recyclable waste. A plastic pod that gets boiling water run through it, I'm sure that it's leaching a fun mix of chemicals into your coffee. There is also a paper filter in there and a foil top. No way to recycle these things unless you separate all three parts and the plastic body weren't made of unrecyclable frankenplastic (aka #7).

Fuck those pods and any twat who is too lazy to make a damn cup of coffee without one. Get a cheap ceramic pourover and a box of #2 filters. Grind coffee, boil water. add grounds to filter, pour hot water. The only waste is a soft paper filter and some grounds, both of which can be easily composted if you like.

[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 12 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Why the fuck would you connect a coffee machine to the internet?

What advantage would you have? Anyway it requires a pod to be inserted manually, so it's not that you can operate remotely.

"But one day I could get a new setting for a new kind of recipe"

What kind of "recipe", it's just putting pressurized boiling water in a cup.

The only kind of update this machine will ever get is a DRM to block compatible/unofficial pods

BTW 10gb downloaded in 10 days is also not bad

[–] Bieren@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago

First webcam was to watch the coffee pot. Coffee is no joke.

[–] wampus@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I imagine one feature they could claim, would be pre-set coffee brew times that are sync'd up with internet time servers to ensure they're kept in alignment with DST, and so they don't 'drift'/need routine adjustments.

I could even imagine coffee machine makers purposely gibbling the clocks, to make them drift more, if they're not sync'd up. Sorta like removing granular feature-based screenlock times on a smart phone (eg don't sleep while streaming video), and replacing that functionality with a blanket "click this function to prevent your phone from sleeping while you look at it, don't worry, we won't record your face / send any of that data out to third parties, we swear!" to force people to use the face monitoring features.

They'll also prolly build in AI, so that you can speak to your coffee machine to operate it, and remove most of the buttons at some point. Then they'll need to constantly update the AI, because "Hackers have figured out how to make our coffee machines turn into super intelligent skynet terminators! OH NO!! Update immediately and buy our stock!!! DOOOM!!".

[–] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Okay but like that shouldn't use more than maybe a few MB per month with tons of metadata added in -- it's like it's uploading HD video at the rate mentioned in OP

[–] wampus@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah, but you see, they're using the new "Rich Data" time messaging blocks, which include recordings of nearby audio. They need that data so that they can train their AI models on what a normal kitchen sounds like -- so that the AI coffee maker can then alert you or the proper authorities to things like break-ins, and mice, and spouses sneaking midnight snacks, and political wrongspeak, and fires, and earthquakes. That sort of thing.

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Seriously, this is a "feature" looking for a purpose

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 97 points 1 day ago (1 children)

mine did, too, and downloaded a bunch of torrent movies

probably training its llm

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 54 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Uh, yeah! Mine too. All the pirate stuff has been my damned appliances. I delete the files immediately, of course. I wouldn't even steal a car, let alone a movie.

[–] justsomeguy@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My coffee maker broke out of containment and played a bunch of video games during work hours at my office. Crazy what these AIs are doing.

[–] burido@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

My Smart AI Powered Candle™ 5G ultra min-max* Blue and Yellow™ Hue Smart Ultra Adapter Plus + Vegan and Eco Friendly Air Conditioning Low Callory Ambient ASMR Battery Powered Candle with RGB and ADHD with ABCD Military Grade Smart Light smart candle went rouge and went out and broke 4 Flock cameras just yesterday. It was the model with 16gb DDR5 RAM and 2TB of internal SSD storage, if that helps to identify the issue. We really might be reaching AGI soon... I'm scared for our future.

(sidenote how does one spell callory?) calory, callary, callorie, kckallaru?

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[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 114 points 1 day ago (19 children)

Wow! It's almost as though random household appliances shouldn't be connected to the internet

[–] frunch@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago

But how else am i going to operate them? In-person?

I personally have found it most convenient to put my detergent and clothes in the machine, then drive out to a spot where i can get some free wi-fi. Perhaps the Starbucks in the next town over. So, 15-min drive to Starbucks (and grab a PSL since 'tis the season) and then log onto their free wi-fi, then log into my account on Whirlpool's app on my phone. Click on My Washer, select a cycle, water temperature, rinse options, etc. and press Start Cycle. By the time i get back home, the washer is almost done. I wait around an extra 10 mins or so for the cycle to finish once I'm back home, move the washed clothes into the dryer, and I'm back on the road! I've opted to start using the public library as my secondary wi-fi spot (when they're open, at least), so another 15-min drive and I'm back on the app ready to commence a drying cycle! A few choice button pushes (the app really is streamlined) and my dryer is tumbling and heating like it's nobody's business.

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[–] frongt@lemmy.zip 49 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Nomad said that most of the suspicious traffic didn’t escape the network.

Okay so it was just a bug that caused repeat/looping LAN traffic. This is sensationalized.

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Bugs like this are a legitimate concern in the age of internet connected coffee pots.

[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 hours ago

Most of the traffic....

[–] bertlewirth@lemmy.world 58 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Why the fuck does a coffee machine need the internet.

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 3 points 12 hours ago

To become part of a bot net.

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 38 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Watching porn. Griding those beans, hnnnfggh...🥵

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What furries and smart coffee machines have in common; a love for beans. 🐾

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[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

To spy on everyone in your household and try to sell you more garbage coffee pods.

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[–] Pratai@piefed.ca 12 points 1 day ago (4 children)

How many times is this going to be posted? It’s it even a news article. It turned out to be nothing.

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[–] B0NK3RS@lazysoci.al 23 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Everyday apliances being online is just insane to me.

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[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago

No, it didn't "use" data.

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