Ask Lemmy

A crow.

I can fly, be a smart boi, give shiny things to people I like, and peck the heads of people I don't like.

A worm

I need to check if he's telling the truth

House cat seems chill.

Raccoon. Still got haaaaaands biiiitches

Nothing deep sea, I don't want to deal with other creatures in an environment I can't transform back.

Nothing flying, heights would scare me.

I am between an elephant and a racoon. Probably a racoon.

Some kind of raptor.

Utahraptor for high power and combat capability.

Microraptor for agility and gliding.

Peregrine falcon for flying and speed.

Dromaeosaurus or Troodon for those situations that are in between Microraptor and Utahraptor.

Well you didn't add any caveats to the transformation and you said it's at will so... If mass is not conserved then I'd just turn into something heavy yet compact like a rhino and harvest infinite energy from the toggling. If I get support from a State I might even choose a whale so we can extract the most energy per toggle. You can basically build an engine from it, and since whales are like 200 tons and I'm 70kg, the conversion ratio would be pretty damn good. Though it would require a dedicated facility, which is why I'd rather go with a rhino or something, which is however about 100 times less efficient so it would require 100 times as much toggling. You get the picture.

Look, in fucking July, my species was renamed the fucking paradoxical sea Muppet (Australyichthys paradoxus), and I’m kind of fucking sore about it.

Fucking Muppet! I’m a fucking seahorse. Fucking look at me you fucking imbeciles. Human fucks! Always fucking with you, fucking shit up, fucking up naming shit, fucking up the sea, ffs they’re the fucking muppets

So, “seahorse” is my answer, thx

Lobster.

I'd continue to live my normal life during the day, but transform every night to sleep, and don't age during that time. Hell, any time I'm not doing something that requires a human body, just push pause on the aging process for a few hours. Careful application could get me an extra ~40-50% lifespan for free.

The lobster's biggest problem is always having to grow new shells. If every transformation puts me back exactly where I left off, that could be an issue, but with a part-time human to stock my own tank/pool, getting enough to eat as a lobster to get the energy to do that shouldn't be an insurmountable hurdle.

Turn into a cat and go sit on my girlfriends lap.

a brain eating ameba if I can choose a host.

otherwise, a Giganotosaurus. go big or go home, right?

I am already an animal, but it might be fun to be another type of animal.

90s Animorphs kid here. I've been considering this for 30 years.

And I'm not telling

Nobody said cats? I'm very disappointed. I'm going to comb my hair, look at you reproachfully, then go to sleep.

Hey OP, have you read the Animorphs book series? They're a YA series, but it actually gets into some heavier shit surprisingly (child soldiers, PTSD, etc) and are not half bad. I bring this up because the premise is some teens are given powers to morph into any animal they "acquire" DNA from by touching. Really gets into the mindset of each animal, what it feels like, how awesome (or terrifying) it is being each animal, etc. Give them a read if you haven't already.

Yikes, imagine having to learn to fly. Sounds rough. I'd be a different human that I would call Rex so I could go to the store without worrying about anyone recognizing me. I'd just rather not have to worry about seeing anyone I know when I'm not in the mood.

A Rottnest Island Quokka. Highly promiscuous, well fed, no predators and beloved and protected by humans.

Do I get to turn back or is it a one and done thing?

If the latter, then probably a blue whale. I don't really want to live as a whale but I do want to know in my dying whale breaths that they'll never get the stench of my bloated 30 ton corpse out of the Australian parliament building.

has existed

fuck yeah i'ma turn into a thylacine

i'd get so many scritches

Cat.

When OP opened talking about hitting the hay, I figured his animal would be a horse.

Whale Shark.

A raven doesn't sound too bad. Can fly, smart, doesn't really have a predator so I can explore the world at ease

Some kind of big cat like a jaguar or tiger sounds cool. Agile, fast, and strong; but also cute, fluffy, and can cuddle in a warm sunny spot. Might be hard to be a vegetarian, though. Maybe I only eat in human form or something? Brb making a new Pathfinder character.

First thought is a very small insect, especially a small flying bug, so I could effectively vanish instantly and escape from most any situation.

Of course this comes with some assumptions, such as magically keeping my intelligence. And not aging at hyper speed while transformed, etc.

Bird. Daily commute will be fun.

Migratory bird of some sort. I'd go with a species that dies migrating the least often.

A small and cute goat in a petting zoo. You get fed and you can headbutt people and kids to oblivion while everyone thinks it’s cute.

Tapeworm. Just hanging out in a warm cosy intestine, protected from the outside world and food dropping on to me so I don't even have to move.