the greatest Onion writer could never come up with a headline like this
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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Since when did keeping kids off of porn sites become everyone else's problem and not the problem of parents? Oh, right, that's just a bullshit reason to make accessing porn more difficult and a security risk since they can't just make porn illegal.
It's not even that. Porn is just a bystander here. The first step is put in place a very large framework for making some form of verification mandatory on arbitrary services and sites under the guise of whatever (terrorism, child protection, and extremely niche content are good candidates). Once it's in place, it becomes the new normal very quickly.
Then, as the government, you suddenly have the power to extend the provision of said system to whatever the fuck you want. That's where things gets funky, and not the good kind.
And look at the money.
The reasoning for this is to eventually lock the internet down completely to put up fences and paywalls everywhere to every single site so that even if you pay for the privilege of using the internet, you will have to pay more money to actually use the internet.
It is all about controlling you and taking every single penny they possibly can out of your pocket.
All of the tracking, all of the identity verification, all of the invasive watching every single thing you do on your computer and your phone, everywhere, all of the time always, is all about milking you for every single penny they can.
Even though they are insanely rich, beyond the imagination of any human being that has ever lived in the hundreds of thousands of years of humanity's existence on this planet they still don't have enough money and they will still never be satisfied with how much money they have.
The fact that there are free websites where people can congregate and communicate and have fun with each other without paying them for the privilege galls them.
It grinds their heart and soul the way watching a dog get shot in the head at the end of old yeller does to a normal person.
These people are evil, and we need to stop them.
When it comes down to it, we may have to rise up and slay them.
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“Oh look, we just banned all the opposition party from using any online services at all because (checks notes) campaigning against us is hate speech “
All you EU chatters going on about us in the US sitting on our asses and not doing anything about what’s going are gonna eat your fucking words if you don’t show us how it’s done, and quick, because they’re coming for you HARD right now
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It's more than that, they want to
- limit who can post and make money off porn, and no, this isn't to support small creators at all unfortunately
- build massive blackmail networks
- build massive sex work websites with curated AI models and videos
And yes, any time ANY ONE EVER says, "Do it for the kids, just think of the kids," when it is not something DIRECTLY and CONSENSUALLY helping kids, but instead FORCING ADULTS TO DO THINGS, is being manipulative every time.
The only time the phrase "do it for the kids" is actually valuable is when it's someone asking you to grill hot dogs at a picnic.
If it's a politician saying it, "do it for the kids" is slang for "bend over and take it up the ass because otherwise you're a bad person".
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More reasons for gov to track everyone with face scans
I think the narrative is now that "parenting is hard" and you can't expect parents to do it right by themselves. Parenting used to be easy so parents didn't need any help but now it's just too difficult and government needs to help.
Parenting used to be easy so parents didn't need any help but now it's just too difficult and government needs to help.
Ahh ok, so that means they're for parental leave, and free daycare/preschool, right?
And surely they'll do something to lower the maternal and infant mortality rates, right?
And they'll definitely make sure that we're teaching proper sex education, and making contraceptives free and widely available in order to lower the rate of unwanted pregnancies, right?
Right??
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you're allowed to say PORN on the internet
Sobering how all the tech bro social sites are programming people to self-censor so the bots don't cull their posts. The Internet is turning into a shitfuck.
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Let this man watch porn without giving out any of his personal information. I too want to watch porn without giving out any of my personal information. You do too, if you watch porn.
The people making the rules know this. They just … in their Christian nationalist hearts believe porn shouldn't exist. And since there's too much precedent to simply make it illegal (they've tried before). So here they're trying to make watching it as painful and degrading as humanly possible.
In other words, you're not wrong - just preaching to the choir.
Christian nationalists say that porn shouldn't exist while watching a lot of porn and they would get mad if someone took away their porn. They only want others to not watch porn.
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From here
It's all part of the plan. Only this time they let the cousins across the pond do the first significant move.
The line about "educators and public libraries" gives away the real game; this isn't about actual pornography at all.
The "pornography" they're referring to here is any form of media that portrays LGBTQ+ people in a neutral or positive light.
The age old problem of "if you remove rights from criminals, you can just change the definition of crime to encompass the people you don't like"
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If only there was a very easy, simple way to trick the system into thinking you are an adult.
You mean a bobble head because apparently those work incredibly well.
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wow, they actually, properly, fully did this shit. Amazing.
So glad I left that shithole. My friends are aparantly using VPNs, which is the same fucking thing I had to use to access WIKIPEDIA in TURKEY.
I hope he sues and wins
I don’t want to know anything more about this man other than he has a lot of tattoos, likes porn, and isn’t afraid to say it.
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I'm confused, can't literally anyone just generate an AI selfie to submit for the censorship?
A couple news cycles ago was just talking about how AI video and image generation has progressed so far that it is really difficult for any system to tell it is AI in some cases. This seems like the perfect usecase for that.
Or does it need to link to a real person ID or something?
Selfie doesn't work, you need to turn your head left and right to follow instructions.
But yeah, there's a bunch of avatars that will bypass it
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King Of Ink Land King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite has written to his local MP to air his grievances.
Holy shit. That's his legal name?!
For King of Ink Land, this is particularly tricky as the system believes he’s wearing a mask – but it’s actually his tattoo-covered face.
So is it first name 'King of Ink Land', last name 'King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite'? Or is there a middle name in there?
The King of Ink Land, who is now considering using a VPN, was attempting to access a live webcam site when the issue arose.
Whoa whoa whoa. "The" King of Ink Land? That's his name, not a title!
Godspeed, King of Ink Land. I sincerely wish you success in this fight.
In the UK it is easier to change your name than to watch porn.
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He knows that video games where you can pose the character can bypass it, right?
Iirc death stranding and a few others have been shown to work.
Alternatively VPNs work.
Or piracy.
I don't think that's really the point.
hmm, something tells me that facepaint will come into style in the next 10 years...
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It's not a discrimination thing, I'm sure this is just facial recognition failing over his extensive facial tattoos, same as it can fail on people with very dark skin. No racism or discrimination needed to explain it, it's just the software or sometimes even physics that causes it.
Having said that, fuck the UK government for implementing this shit.
Get your porn whilst you can because other countries will follow suit and soon even a VPN won't save you anymore
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They just need to support alternate verification paths for people like him, and people who have otherwise been disfigured.
They should sue for discrimination if steps are not quickly taken to support their situations.
It’s funny how this turns into the gov needing to provide equal access to porn.
Or maybe the government needs to keep their hands off other people's dicks?
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🏴☠️ I live to ride the ocean
The mighty world around
To take a little plunder
And to hear the cannon sound 🦜
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You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
"Whaddaya mean I can't watch porn???"
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